Super impatient, will he propose

posted 4 months ago in Engagement
Post # 2
Member
639 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2020

You shouldn’t have to passively wait for a proposal. You should be equal partners with equal say, discuss when and what you want out of a marriage. Pick out a ring you like together, then let him surprise you with a romantic “official” proposal and ring presentation. Life is not a chick flick. A proposal should never be a complete surprise. If you’re not happy waiting, tell him. Ask him when he sees himself married. My bf and I are probably going to put down a deposit for a venue before we find the right ring and he does the official bent knee proposal. I love that we’re doing it this way. I love knowing that I’ll actually like my ring, that we can communicate openly, and that I will be sweetly surprised by a thoughtful, romantic proposal. 

Post # 3
Member
51 posts
Worker bee

confusedsquirrel :  I feel your pain as I am going through the same thing.  I atualy just made my first post all about it.  I think it sounds like he is going to do it, but do not get your hopes up in case he doesn’t.  I have been with my boyfriend for over 5 years, and he told me 2 years ago that “it’s coming”.  So I am also highly obsessive and impatient with it.  Mine promised me that he would do it before we move into a house.  We currently have bids out on houses, and it is just a matter of time.  We are going back to the place that we started dating tomorrow, and I thought that he would do it then and there since both of our families will be there.  he hinted otherwise last night, causing a huge argument.

 

I guess I posted here to say that I feel your pain, and that it is truly unbearable.

Post # 4
Member
8317 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

Are you seriously ok with being told ‘hang on baby you’ll get everything you dreamed of’ ,meaning a proposal? 

If my h. had said such a patronising thing to me l think l might have committed an assault on him.  Take some control over your own life ffs, this passive waiting about and hoping and having men loftily say they’ll bestow the ineffable gift of their hand upon you sometime, and the total abrogation of management of your own shared future is frankly , idk what it is but l can’t stand reading any more posts like it. 

Sorry, l’ll go away now . 

confusedsquirrel :  

Post # 6
Member
8317 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

Well that was a kind reply to my very testy post. I am glad you talked and now feel more in control and l hope more than anything this is the beginning of a more assertive and strong you.

l still feel uneasy about his part in this, the ‘don’t talk to me about it or you’ll kill the surprise” is a favourite and to me, utterly arrogant riposte that many men feel ok in offering. It’s pretty much equivalent to ‘ be a good girl and don’t annoy daddy and you may get an ice cream’

Why must you wait until some mystical right time of his anyway? If a surprise is so important to him, he should do it this weekend – that would surprise the hell out of you wouldn’t it! Tell him the best surprise would be him doing it soon. 

 

confusedsquirrel :  

Post # 7
Member
1887 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2019

Seems like a possibility for sure. If he doesn’t then y’all need a talk. But I don’t think it bad for him to want to surprise you. A lot of guys just get caught up in trying to make it movie worthy and they don’t realize we’d be happy most of the time with a sweet sentiment and celebratory meal. confusedsquirrel :  

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