Super Long/ Old Drama — Forgiving the Bride Who Kicked Me Out?

posted 2 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 2
Member
704 posts
Busy bee

If you don’t want to be friends with anymore, that’s completely ok. Ignore her until she gets the message or straight up let her know politely that you aren’t interested in keeping contact.

What I do find a little bit weird is that you still enjoy making her the butt of your jokes. I could understand that it’d be funny for a while because of all that initial anger but you should fully just move on. It seems pretty juvenile. I maybe did that sometimes back in college, and I would forget that person’s name a semester later. It’s been two years… Just let it go. All of it. 

I think it may be nice to truly move on and be at peace. Forgive her if not for her, for yourself. Not saying you have to be friends with her, but don’t hold a grudge and be bitter. Be happy with your wonderful life and other friends!

Post # 3
Member
1007 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2019

… after two years you and your friends are still sitting around ripping on her? Move on with your life. 

Post # 4
Member
7518 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

All of my coworkers and friends know how bad it was and how much she hurt me and how much I hated her at one point. So how do I explain to them that we’re friends again (if we would become friends again)? How do I explain going from hating someone to suddenly being amicable?

I guarantee your coworkers and friends are not nearly as invested in this as you may think. If anything they probably think it’s a little weird you’re still making this girl the butt of your jokes years after the fact? it’s time to let it go..

Not sayig you need to necessarily be friends with her again, but you still seem to have a lot of anger and resentment and it’s not healthy, so I’d def try to find a way to move past it.

It doesn’t really matter, but I also don’t really understand the drama that led to your blow-out fight in the first place. Certainly there was some fault on both sides, but if the other bridemsaids AND the bride wanted to do one thing for the bachelorette, and you wanted to do smoething different, why wouldn’t you just go with the majority on this rather than insisting on your vision? It wasn’t your wedding…

Post # 5
Member
9129 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

View original reply
auraorialis :  Ok, I didn’t read all that but this stuck out: “Also, as mean as it is, it’s still a little fun ripping on her to my friends.” Why don’t you tell her this? She’ll probably stop messaging you and the problem will be solved. 

PS: Grow up.

Post # 6
Member
3235 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: March 2017

You need to let this go. How strange that she is still so hated and butt of jokes 2 years later. Bitter is no way to live your life. Don’t be her friend. Tell her that you’re happy in your life and don’t wish to rekindle that friendship. Then block her. 

I agree with PP you need to forgive her so you can move on. 

By The Way: most people won’t judge you or care if you decide to be friends agains. That’s in your head.

Post # 7
Member
47436 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

 I’m still super bitter about her

Who would have guessed? The person you are hurting most by still dwelling on this is you. If you don’t want to be friends, block her on everything and move on with your life.

Post # 9
Member
110 posts
Blushing bee

Move on. What would you tell Robin, if she went through the same thing.

Also as a side note, so weird and annoying that your husband went to Hayley to complain about you and also have odd pasts re buying lingerie.

Post # 10
Member
2689 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2017

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auraorialis :  so lemme get this straight: 1) you were hurt that she went dress shopping without you (legit) 2) you were mad the other girls didn’t bake/cook enough (petty) 3) you got in a fight about the bachelorette party because the others wanted to go to the zoo and not buy lingerie (petty) 4) you refused to go to her bachelorette party (petty) 

I actually think you are the issue here not her. There are a lot of things that could have been handled better on your end. Yes… kicking you out of the wedding was rude but this whole saga just seemed immature. 

The fact that you rip on her is also very cruel. Yeah… you shouldn’t be friends with her anymore. 

Post # 11
Member
876 posts
Busy bee

Wait, am I the ONLY one who sides with the friend?

You kinda seem like the friendzilla here, TBH.  Ex-bestie put on a wedding with a FI’s whose father is dying of cancer, and had to cut the planning short unexpectly in the process.  Probably had to deal with family drama, too. Somehow she held it all together while her old best friend from HS was causing drama because she was butthurt about not getting a ring yet. But that doesn’t matter to you because her other friends didnt love your idea of going to the mall for her bachelorette party and you had to put your foot down.  Did the bride’s opinion about where she wanted to have her bachelorette not count? No? 

Somehow I have a feeling that if you had to make all your coworkers, friends and Fiance support you for having your feelings hurt, you probably weren’t keeping your emotions close-to-the-hilt and being a good sport while performing your Maid/Matron of Honor duties like you suggest. People pick up on that stiffness and lack of genuine cheer over a happy occasion, and of course they wouldn’t respond well to you.

Clearly there would be no point in trying to “be her friend.”  You aren’t her friend, despite her probably thinking she is still is yours.  Keep her blocked and move on with your life. She doesn’t bring out healthy emotions in you, and you owe it to yourself to move past it. Stop making her a joke, let it AND her go, and enjoy the joys of your own life.

Post # 12
Member
8381 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

View original reply
notmeeither :  friendzilla perfectly describes this. Imo you are wayyyy out of line. You sound like a shitty friend and now shitty person to still be ragging in her. Grow the fuck up and move on.

Post # 14
Member
10110 posts
Sugar Beekeeper

View original reply
auraorialis :  

Well perhaps its overly simplistic of me to suggest just  plain ignore  her and any/all of her offsiders,  block  her /them  on social media  – and then for the love of mike you can maybe  stop thinking and obsesssing over this bygone minutiae OP . 

 

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