(Closed) Super mad at nosy FI

posted 6 years ago in Relationships
Post # 3
Member
864 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

@grouch29:  Did you tell him you don’t like it? Sounds like you need a boundaries discussion.

Post # 4
Member
363 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

I don’t see why he has to check up on you… Wonder what he thinks you’re doing. Talk to him and say what you wrote, that this is a place you go to get ideas and chat with other brides. Hopefully he can respect that! Darling Husband sometimes asks what’s going on in weddingbee world but hasn’t come on to look at it or see what I’m doing here. 

Post # 5
Member
753 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

That sounds a little controlling. Have you talked to him about it? What did he say?

Post # 6
Member
10 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: February 2012

If it bother you try talking to him about it. I understand wanting privacy here ( I am an old bee who changed names for privacy).  He might not get why it’s a big deal to you if you don’t speak up

Post # 7
Member
9674 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2012

I don’t feel that adults should need checking up on.  He wants to take it away from you?  Why do you think he’s doing that, is he usually controlling of you or is this just a curiosity about your wedding dress thing?

Post # 8
Member
3063 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: November 2012

Ugh, how annoying! I would just tell him to stop. If you haven’t given him a reason to think you’re untrustworthy he should really back off. It may just be simple curiousity on his part, but it’s coming off as controlling and clingy.

Post # 9
Member
1627 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2012

Does he not know/understand the site?  Maybe explain to him, and see if that helps. 🙂 I’ve already posted how my Fiance sometimes even asks me “how are the bees doing today?” 😉 Once he sees it’s a harmless bride/relationship/baby/etc. site, I would hope he’d loosen up a bit!

Post # 10
Member
3569 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

i don’t know I think the responses are blowing it way over position. Maybe the orginal poster can elaborate on what or how he is doing it. I think a lot of us spend a lot of time on here and our Fi’s might be curious as to why, also I know a lot of bees say their Fi’s read over their shoulders when they are on the site.

Post # 11
Member
1544 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

my Fiance did this to me just yesterday. I’m on the computer and he comes in and says something that I remember posting on one of the wedding sites i’m on… i think it was theknot actually. I’m like WTF are you spying on me! He went to the website, searched by my username and found all my posts. He said he just wanted to see what you I talk about on here. Nosy! And I got really mad that he was spying on me. I was like um theres things I might not want you to see on there. He’s like oh what are you trying to hide…. I should have said dress! I didn’t even think of that! I’ll have to tell him that so he doesn’t do it again! I told him it was an invasion of my privacy and he’s like its a public forum! its public knowledge. YA but i don’t want it to be his knowledge. lol. Argh it made me so mad!

Post # 12
Member
926 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

Disclaimer: That behavior is TOTALLY not ok. 

That said, I fight jealous tendencies all the time.  FI participates in an online forum as well, and eeeeeevvery once in a while I get a little voice in my head that asks what he’s chatting with those people about.  Same thing when I see that he’s online on FB, because he’s not often online.

Then, I stop and think about the last time I had a meaningful conversation with him that didn’t involve mundane housekeeping stuff (what’s for dinner), or work (jobs suck), or where we’re not mutually absorbed in our own stuff and just existing in the same room together.  I usually realize that it’s been a little while- a few days or so, since I had one of those.  It’s a silly attention thing for me… so I fight the urge to get curious and make sure that I’m totally available to spend quality time with him in the next 24-48 hours. 

Post # 13
Member
1544 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

i don’t think it has anything to do with jealousy at all. I know for mine it was just his curiousity. I mean wtf would he have to be jealous of on a wedding forum! lol He just sees me on it all the time and he couldn’t imagine what it is i could possibly talk about so much on here. I wouldn’t say AT ALL that its horrible behavior or anything… I mean its not like he’s logging into my email and snooping that way. he’s right – it is public. He’s on his forums too and its just his interests and hobbies and guy stuff – it doesn’t interest me. I’ve seen his posts. I think he had the same reaction when he saw mine. but i am gonna warn him just incase because i don’t want to risk posting my dress and him seeing it.

Its not like HORRIBLE behavior In My Humble Opinion – just annoying.

Post # 15
Member
379 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

I hate, hate, HATE it when my Fiance noses into my computer time! Every time I see him glancing over while I’m online I just nudge him so he’ll leave me alone. He knows that if I want him to see something I’ll ask him.

Post # 16
Member
1542 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: December 2012

@grouch29:  Fi does this too, I found my WB profile’s on his phone favorites. It annoys me just a tiny bit, now I feel like I can’t share Eeeverything here or he’ll be reading it.

Having said that I don’t think he does it to check on me or because he’s jealous, I think he’s courious about what I do here and he’s interested in the things I’m interested in, in some way it flatters me that he shows interest in the things I like.

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