(Closed) Super Private Ceremony

posted 7 years ago in Ceremony
Post # 3
5475 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: August 2012

The one and ONLY time it is ok per etiquette to have a small ceremony & big reception is when it is immediate family only.  You are ok!  I think it’s nice to have such a small private affair with just your families, and that the big party is your way of compromising and including extended family & friends.  As for your FI’s family, let your Fiance deal with them.  He can explain the situation to them, and they need to respect that this is what both of you envision for your wedding.

Post # 4
5095 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: June 2011

It’s totally ok. Don’t let people pressure you!

Post # 6
731 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

This isnt rude or selfish at all! Im also having a very small ceremony, 10 guests total, and we are all going out to dinner at a resturant afterwards. I dont like alot of attention on me, and I get nervous in front of alot of people,  so a nice small casual ceremony is perfect.

We are going to throw a party a few weeks after that everyone will be invited to, but it will be really laid back and people can come and go as they please. We also plan on having a slide show of the wedding pictures so everyone can feel like they were there.

I also felt guilty about not inviting every family member possible, but this is about me and my future husband, and we are going to do what we want. Dont let anyone make you feel guilty, its your day! 🙂

Post # 7
913 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: April 2014

@DaneLady:  That’s just not true, it is accepted etiquette to have a smaller ceremony (even if not just immediate family) and a larger reception. It’s the reverse that’s bad etiquette (inviting people to the ceremony but not the reception).

Post # 8
262 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

Nope…I’m going small (even though venues keep telling me 25 persons is the same price). Do what makes YOU happy. No matter what you do surrounding a wedding, I realize you will offend someone. I am for once my Fiance is happy, I am happy and my parents are happy- its all good!

Post # 9
1375 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

@DaneLady:  Exactly this.  You are having a private ceremony of immediate family only, which is ok.  If you opened it up to a few friends/extended family, THEN you would be getting into dangerous waters etiquette wise.  But your current plans are fine!

Post # 10
1856 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: March 2013

Definitely don’t feel bad about this! This is basically what we’re doing, although we’re still eloping. My parents wouldn’t have been very bothered not to be there, but my SO is an only child for his mother (and her mother’s only grandchild) and the oldest for his father, and I know they will be very hurt not to be there. So we are inviting them to come along with us if they’re able to come. I am very private and didn’t really want a wedding of any kind, but my SO very much wants to have parties afterward with both sides of his family, so we’re going to do that to satisfy his desire to celebrate with his families and their desire to celebrate with us. It’s definitely not bad etiquette, although of course someone will complain about something along the way. It’s great that your Fiance will stand up for what you’ve decided together.

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