(Closed) Super small, intimate wedding…am I wrong?

posted 6 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
3692 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: December 2011

@jlrroad:  Is there any particular reason not to invite his sister?  DH and I got married with only our parents there.  But then, my sister and I had already not spoken at all in 6 years at that point, so I didn’t include her.

Post # 4
5095 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: June 2011

It would still be a super small wedding if you included his sister and her husband…It would be one thing if you weren’t having ANYONE except his daughter, but since the parents are invited, she would be the only nuclear family member to be left out. If I were her, I would be hurt.

Post # 5
2009 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

No it’s not wrong.

Post # 7
1026 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

If you want it just you/parents, thats what you should do.  If you think his sister will be upset, maybe you could explain you wanted it small and simple, and ask if you could take them out to dinner when you get back to celebrate or something.

Post # 8
1212 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

@jlrroad:  Do it the way you want it. Maybe if you take a “confiding this tiny tiny wedding we are having’ approach with his sister that would offset any feelings of being left out she might have.

Post # 9
1052 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2014 - Cedar Lake Cellars

I would invite her.  She is part of his family and should be there for him.  Just because he has more people there, doesn’t mean he’s more loved.  It just means that his immediate family is bigger… but by the end, they will be your family too.

Post # 10
701 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

You should invite his sister…

Post # 11
5956 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: April 2018

You get to have what you want, and who you want in attendance.  And everyone is entitled to their feelings surrounding what you choose to do, it might not make them all happy, but if you aren’t going to include the sister at this time, perhaps a dinner out together might be nice or some other outing.

Post # 12
7311 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2011 - Bed & Breakfast

All I can say is that if my brother got married without inviting me, I’d be crushed and his new wife would be on my sh*t list. It’s just not the right way to join a family.

Post # 13
205 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: February 2013

Yikes! That’s going to be touchy. If you have a friendly relationship and you don’t invite them then I bet it wont be friendly for long. I never see my brother and he lives 9 hours away but if he invited my parents to his wedding and not me I would be devastated! Wanting to keep it “even” is a very strange reason, but to each his own, just know that they will most likely be very hurt.

Post # 14
5543 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: December 2011

I think you can do whatever you want. However, inviting direct family only would mean including his sister but not really open the flood gates to other family members. Because, if you want to maintain a friendly relationship, I can’t see not inviting her to the wedidng going well. I would be super hurt if my sister hadn’t wanted me at her wedding. 

@LemonLavender:  +1

Post # 15
4987 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: October 2018

I agree with PPs. I really think you should invite her. It doesn’t necessarily mean she’ll come (especially if it’s a Destination Wedding and she has 2 kids), but I think she might be offended if she wasn’t even invited. I wouldn’t risk it. 

Post # 16
184 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

How does your Fiance feel?  Does he want his sister there?


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