Post # 1
Is anyone else out there waiting to TTC, and secretly hating it?
I had two friends and their babies come to stay with me last week. Everytime the babies would cry or have a dirty diaper my friends would jokingly say “don’t ever have kids!” and deep down that would really get to me because it’s something I want so bad.
One of my other best friends just found out she’s pregnant. Yesterday she was very upset about it and today she’s had a change of heart and can’t wait. Almost all of my friends have babies now and I feel left behind.
We are waiting until we can afford a home for a baby as we have recently done a major move to a very expensive city. I did go off the pill last month after 11 years, however it’s caused some severe pains for which I’ve been at the doctor constantly for/getting tests. FML. That just makes it so much worse.
Anyways, anyone else waiting? What makes it better. How can I not want to cry when I find out another friend is pregnant. I’m so happy for them, but I wish it was me 🙁
Post # 2
- Wedding: June 2012 - Franklin Plaza
((Hugs)) I understand your frustration and I’m sorry for what you are going through. DH and I are waiting to save up a bit more money until we start TTC. In the past year it seems like everyone and their mother has had a baby! I am over the moon happy for them, but it still can be hard to see yet *another* announcement on FB. I try to remind myself how awesome it will be to have all of these parents in our life to ask for advice when it’s our turn!
Feel free to join us over on the Waiting to TTC threads. The girls over there have been a great shoulder to lean on and always have such helpful advice!
Post # 4
I totally understand how you feel. I felt like I was ‘waiting’ for probably 8 years. It was agony! I would torture myself by reading all about pregnancy and childbirth and the like. I am ‘waiting’ to TTC again but I guess it doesn’t really count as I have a baby daughter now. But just chiming in to say I’ve felt your pain and I know how hard it is.
Post # 5
i totally feel you! it sucks, especially when everyone is pregnant and/or has a baby and posting pictures all over facebook :/
we WERE waiting to start a family until after my husband was done with the military (which is at the end of this month) and we were settled into civilian life and everything. we both really want kids, but we knew it was best for us to wait and were set in our decision.
then we had an “oops” and in march found out we were expecting. my husband was thrilled. i had a melt down and few days of complete panic, but of course i was eventually happy and so excited!
then 3 weeks ago we lost the baby and i’ve been completely heart broken. we haven’t decided when we’ll try for another baby. if i had never been pregnant in the first place, i think we would still be set in our decision to wait, but now all i want is to be a mommy. we may try at the end of the summer, which isn’t too far away, but now more than ever, it’s harder to wait!
Post # 6
I really identify with you here. Fiance and I are getting married next year (after a long engagement) but we’re going to have to wait a couple of years after that before we can even think about TTC which would be fine if I were 25 y/o but I’m almost 30. On top of that, I’ve started down a new career path (nursing) which means I’m looking at furthering it with university study which puts me out of commission for 2 years. Sometimes it feels like a baby will never ever happen for us, especially with the fact that I want to do so much with my new career (thanks to all the encouragement I have received from those I look up to). It’s like I’m going to have to make a choice, or put off what I want to do (which I’m afraid will mean I wont ever get back to it).
The last couple of months has been so hard because everyone seems to be getting pregnant (must be something in the water). It makes me sad and, I hate to admit, sometimes bitter. I don’t want to be one of those old “granny” mums when my kids graduate high school and what not. I wanted to be a young mum. I wanted to have my first child at 25, like my mum when she had me – Fiance and I weren’t together then anyway. My younger sister and her Fiance are TTC and I just envy that they’re at that point. Fiance and I just want to save more for the wedding, then a deposit on a house, etc, etc.
In saying all that though, life ain’t bad. I have a wonderful man who has supported me, lots of prospects, goals to reach and a wedding next year.
Post # 7
It is terrible! For a longg time I wanted to TTC right after the wedding but Fiance wanted to wait a bit. Now that we’ve been watching his 6 mo nephew he wants one soon and to start trying this summer. Well I got into a two year grad school program and looks like we’ll have to wait another year to start trying. I was getting excited about this summer, which we could do it, but I think it would make more sense to wait, but if it happens it happens and I’d be estatic! Fiance will probably be bugging me about it right after the wedding next month! AH this is sooo hard! It doesn’t help that literally everyone around us just had a baby, is pregnant, or TTC.
Post # 8
Preach! I understand the feeling left behind…I didn’t get married until a year ago, and I”m in my mid 30s. We’re TTC now but enduring years of wondering when I would meet Mr. Right and then waiting until the time was right sucks! When we get pregnant, I’ll be the last of my friends. That is the reality. Good news is you’ll get lots of good free stuff, hand me downs, good tips, maternity clothes. 🙂
Post # 9
We’re waiting, and I wish we didn’t have to.
I would love to go off BC right before or after our wedding in 6 months, but we still need to buy a house and settle ourselves, plus we won’t be taking a honeymoon immediately because of money. But I’m in my 30’s, all my friends have been married a couple years now and are starting families, I want that so badly. Also, I don’t want to get to the point where we’re trying so hard that it becomes work. I’d like for it to happen naturally, but the older I am, the harder that will be to achieve.
I feel you!!!
Post # 10
Yep.. in the same boat over here! We know of three ladies who gave birth in the past 2 months. My best friend has a 9 month old (super cute) and my husband’s younger brother’s just-turned-20-years-old-airhead-girlfriend is 7 months pregnant with my mother-in-law’s first grandchild.
Aside from all this there are several acquaintances with young babies and they flood my FB feed with cuteness. I’ve had to unfollow quite a few because it makes me too upset.
How old are you?
I’ll be 29 in September but we’re not trying until December because my husband absolutely refuses to try any earlier even though we have a house, good jobs, good education, life experience. In my mind there’s not going to be a more ‘perfect’ time to try than right now.
It is so incredibly frustrating when what is holding you back from becoming a family is your own husband. Saddest thing is I know hardly anyone else in my situation!
Best of luck getting through this really horrible waiting period!
Post # 11
“How can I not want to cry when a friend of mine gets pregnant?” Let them tell you in great detail how it feels :)) Seriously, make sure you enjoy the time you are not pregnant. I am pregnant right now and I am excited about it, but it is thoroughly uncomfortable and I am of those lucky ones who didn’t even have morning sickness. On top of that, you worry all the time that something might go wrong. On a more serious note, a baby doesn’t need a big place – they start off rather small and they sleep for most of their first year. Add to that 9 months plus the time it takes to TTC – and maybe you’ll decide that you don’t need to wait so long.
Post # 12
- Wedding: June 2012 - Franklin Plaza
FWIW, I am in your EXACT situation. We both have good jobs, have traveled and experienced life, are financially stable, etc. I will say that we are saving up for a down payment on a home, but our current apartment is large enough to start a family in. I’m 28 and he’s 32, so yea we’re not young kids by any means. We’ve also been together for 9 years (married for 2). I’ve been ready for quite some time, but he’s been dragging his feet. I ask him if he wants kids, that it’s okay if he doesn’t want them, I understand it’s a huge commitment. I just want him to be honest with me. He says yes, he wants to start a family, but not yet. But it’s been “not yet” for 3 years! I think if it was up to him he’d just wait til all my eggs shriveled up and then be like, oh well, guess it’s not meant to be! Sigh. Sorry for the rant. Just wanted you to know I feel ya. Feel free to vent to me anyyyyyytime.
Post # 13
araneidae: lilchicana: itsmeetam: MrsN14: BurlapnLace: amyinbrisbane:
& everyone else Thank You for your comments. I really feel supported. I am a very social person and I have a lot of friends from a lot of different backgrounds in life and I only have a handful (literally) left who aren’t pregnant (planned or accident) or have children. I am 26 years old.
My husband really wants kids too but he really wants to wait for a house (hopefully next spring/summer if we are lucky…houses here are so incredibly expensive). I know that that is the right decision but it’s hard. I always imagined painting the future babies nursery and decorating the walls (things I can’t do in this rental apartment). I just have to hold on there a bit longer.
Does anyone else have friends who say things along the lines of “if you wait much longer than you’ll start having complications”. That really makes me feel so much better (not!). I’ve had a couple of friends do that. I’m not even at the age yet….jeez
Post # 14
my husband actually said something recently about complications. he didn’t say it in a rude way, more just out of concern for me (i just turned 30) and the baby. we have some good friends who have a son on the autism spectrum (he’s very high functioning, his only issue is that he doesn’t really speak) and he’s seen the kinds of struggles they’ve had to deal with (doctors, finding schools, etc) so he worries about the higher risk of autism that comes with having a baby at an older age.
we’re still waiting, but we’re hoping by the end of the year we’ll be in a better place financially- i’m about to start a new job, so things are looking up.