(Closed) Support from HIS side…What a concept.

posted 5 years ago in Family
Post # 3
1301 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2015

I’m actually in the opposite situation.  The parents of every guy I’ve dated and even all of my friends’ parents have always loved me.  To give you an idea, my high school boyfriend’s mom hugged me and cried when I came back to visit during college because she was so happy to see me.

For me, it’s been incredibly hard dealing with a family not liking me.  I don’t expect everyone to love me and think I’m the best, but I’ve also never had anyone I’ve made an effort with dislike me.  FI’s sister has been the only one to make any sort of effort to get to know me.  His dad seems kind of ambivalent.  His mom outright hates me because she would hate anyone he was with, and she picks apart everything about me to turn it into a negative.  It’s so awkward.  I’ve tried very hard to make them like me, but I’m naturally shy and introverted so it’s been a struggle.  It’s been 6 years of me trying and pretty much getting nowhere.  Yes, 6 YEARS.  Meanwhile, my family has treated him as one of their own pretty much as soon as we got serious.  It just sucks.

Be happy and enjoy it!  I know it might be a little overwhelming to suddenly gain “new family” but be thankful that the person you’re marrying is coming with a family that likes you.

Post # 5
2450 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

I’m not in this situation, but I wanted to say how happy I am that you are joining such a loving family! Yay!

Post # 7
90 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: February 2015

@TGold:  I’m so sorry hun.  I dated one guy like that in college.  His mother was a very well-kept woman and disliked me on sight.  He wasn’t totally a momma’s boy, but as he was an only child of divorced parents and she had sole custody – well, needless to say, I don’t think she would think any girl could measure up.  Maybe a Kennedy (they were into polotics).  needless to say, it didn’t work out, since he was always defending her as being lonely or concerned.  How does your Fiance handle it? I think that might make a big difference.

@MissLadyInWaiting_xx: I am thankful the my in-laws really like me.  Sometimes I think they like me more than my husband! My parents are also really welcoming to my husband and I know he likes them too, so we have it made. I am very thankful for this and totally understand how happy this makes you!

Post # 8
1724 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 1998

Well, my ex’s family really liked me. His mom would go out and get stuff for me and send me home with it. We were both creative types, and she had been a young mom – she and I were 18 years or so apart – so we had a little more in common. His sister at the time was quite young and would come to me for help and advice. I would take her out to dinner with us. I didn’t know his dad very well, but I think they liked and respected me – I think they knew well that I was too good for their son and that I was settling on him.

I know my husband’s family doesn’t like me, but at least for the most part they make an effort to be kind and civil. Though she was completely silent before the wedding, since we married and it’s obviously too ‘late’ now, my mother-in-law has given me a few compliments. That’s really all I ask. We don’t have to like each other, but we can respect that it’s not because the other person’s a bad person. We’re not very similar though – they’re very blunt, religious, abrasive and ‘helpful.’ I like to keep to myself, do thing son my own, and I do my best to phrase things in a sugar-coated way as much as possible. Needless to say, we clash.

I hear you, though. Although I still don’t think I ever would have been my mother-in-law’s choice for her son, it was nice to hear some of the positive things she had to say about me after the fact.


Post # 11
135 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: August 2014

@MissLadyInWaiting_xx:  I am literally in your EXACT same situation. My ex-FI’s family did show up to the engagement party…3 hours late. Despite staying at a hotel 1 mile away from my parents house, where the party was being held. My now-FI’s family is amazing. I love them, and can’t wait to officially be part of their family. It was a shock at first though because I was so used to my ex’s family that having them be nice to me felt too good to be true. So you are not alone!

Post # 12
85 posts
Worker bee

I can’t totally relate on the same level, because SO’s parents are dead and he really has no family other than some long lost relatives on the other side of the country really were never a part of his life.  What he does have though is a woman who he spent 13 years living with and raising kids with.  She isn’t a crazy ex, she is a normal, down to earth, accepting woman.  I feel like she is family to him and always will be, and I understand that because when you have kids you are bonded for life through your children, whether the marriage works out or not.  They are amazing parents together and I have nothing but love for her.  I cherish her friendship more than most.  We spend holidays together and she is like an Aunt to my child, who absolutely adores her.  She and my daughter have a special relationshshe becausno her daughter died 6 years ago and she has missed being around a little girl.  It is very sweet.  If SO and I ever have children together i woudl ask her to be a Godmother in a heart beat.

Post # 16
425 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: November 2013

My first ex family members are a bunch of liars and manipulators. I have never seen any family that messed up like my ex’s. They hate me because I don’t say things just to kiss their asses. Part of the reasons is that they are not well educated and very materialistic. I swear they hated me and would make any snarky comments they could. Very rude family.

Now Im happy with my Fiance and his family is very loving from the start till now. Now looking back, I couldnt believe I had the patience to deal with my ex’s ghetto family for that many years. 

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