Supporting a friend through grief

posted 10 months ago in Emotional
Post # 2
197 posts
Blushing bee

You sound like a wonderful friend. When my best friend lost her nephew I messaged like you did to say I was thinking of her for a few days,I   also made a note of the anniversary of his death! It’s in my diary and every year I message her that day to say I’m thinking of her. I never asked her any questions so she didn’t feel like she had to respond. Do you have her boyfriends phone number? That can be way to ask how she is going without asking her directly. 

Post # 4
459 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: March 2019

Yes, I would definitely tell her that it’s up to her if she wants to be a bridesmaid or not. Asking won’t hurt. Maybe she’s happy to have a bit of distraction during this time.

And why not check in on her every few days now? Just ask her how she’s doing. I also apreciate everyone asking for how I’m doing when they know that I’m going through a difficult time. I normally don’t see it as a hassle, but a sign that people care and think about me.

Post # 4
1882 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2019

Send flowers or a card. Or order dinner via door dash for her if you know when she’s likely to be home.

i honestly wouldn’t mention anything about the wedding for a month or two then see where she’s at if her mom actually died or is still struggling on. See where her heads at. She may be happy for a distraction especially since her mom has had the diagnosis for a while. I’d still want to be there for my friend.

Post # 5
505 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

There is a really nice approach to supporting those in grief called ring theory. (Google “ring theory grief” to learn more.) It will help you sort out what to focus on when approaching her about the death of her mother and what to not approach her with (basically, your own issues and questions related to your wedding). Give her tons of support and empathy, and as PP said, wait at least a couple of months before approaching with your own life issues, unless she comes to you first. You sound like a caring friend! 

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