Post # 1
This one is extremely hard to talk about but I feel like it sadly happens a lot and needs to be talked about. I tried looking for actual sites with discussion boards on this but there are none that are like this to be free to talk. In the last few days it has been revealed that my sister has been having recalled memories that she repressed as a kid. Over the spand of age 3-14, she apparently was being molested and raped by our father, at least 9 memories that she can remember. Theres other factors like her constantly having bladder infections and i guess doctors were always asking if she was being abused. She says she never said nothing because she was too afraid they would take her away from our mom and me and didnt want him to turn on me too. To be clear, our dad never put a hand on me. Fortunatly our father died in 2007. i say fortunatly because otherwise we would beat him to a pulp and kill him ourselves for this. She is thankfully working with some doctors and finding support groups to help her. but i was wondering what there is for support for family members? this is a huge blow and greatly changes how we view the memories of him. does anyone know of a support group that you can post on stuff about this kind of thing? my parents faught a lot and he was very mean and abusive to me, my sister and mom mentally but never physically. i already had a bad relationship but over my mom and sister i definelty had the best relationship. I was the only one that cried when he died. so to now find out he was pedophile rapist is really messing with me, and i wasnt even the victim. if anyone else has gone through something like this I could really use some advice or like i saids if you know somewhere that can help i would greatly appreciate it.
Post # 2
Omg, I’m so sorry! This is just a terrible and unspeakable crime he committed, and it still affecting your life so many years afterwards. I think you both need to see a therapist regularly to learn how to cope and move on. I dont know any online resources, but you can ask the doctor you’re seeing about legit online help. Big huge hugs to you and your sister. Stay strong.
Post # 3
jss77: RAINN.org has resources for supporting victims but you are also going through a trauma yourself, of having to absorb this horrible news about your father. you can call RAINN and talk to someone and they might be able to direct you to local resources.
Im so sorry for what you are going through and what your sister endured.
Post # 4
I’m sorry, Bee. I personally do not know what you are going through but there are many others who can. Unfortunately this is not as uncommon as we would all like to think. I am sure you will find a good support group for this and they will give you a tremendous amont of help. I also agree you should get some kind of counseling. Maybe even some type of grief counseling. Hugs to you Bee.
Post # 5
I really think this is something you need to work through with counselling. ..it’s way bigger than what a bunch of women on a wedding board can help with. I wish for peace for you and your family. Good luck.
Post # 6
Thank you everyone for your support. I actually have a dr next week for my yearly exam but I think i will talk to her about this and see if she can recommend any drs that can help me.
Post # 7
jss77: i am so sorry about this traumatic experience UR family is dealing with. I really don’t have much advice but @balletparker gave u a good resource.. I will pray for UR sister and family.. So terrible Bee 😔
Post # 8
jss77: I’m so very sorry for the actions of your father. You both need therapy to help you process what happened. Sexual abuse suffered at the hands of someone who is supposed to be trusted to love and protect you is an horrific and harrowing crime. Please talk to your doctor about this and find a psychologist to discuss these issues.
As for interactions with your sister, she just needs to know that you’re entirely supportive of her and let it be clear that none of what happened was her fault. She may not want to talk about it to you which is fine but she must talk to a professional in order to find ways to cope.
You haven’t really mentioned your mother, I wonder how she’s dealing with this. It’s such a complex issue. Your sister will have wanted to protect you and not cause trouble, your relationship and memories of your father will all change irrevocably and your mother will feel guilty that she didn’t notice and will judge herself for marrying a man who could do such a thing.
It’s okay to not be okay. Take care of one another. X
Post # 9
all my mom has said so far is she has another reason to hate him. I don’t know how she’s feeling and she won’t tell me. Just kind of avoids it. Just a lot to adjust to