Post # 1
Just had a weird thought. Why does the engagement have to be a surprise? Why is this even a thing? Why isn’t it more like, “Honey, I am going to propose in a week, so put on fancy dress and meet me at Expensive Steakhouse?”
I mean, most women know it’s going to happen before it does. These days, it’s generally a conversation, and the woman usually even helps pick the ring. So what’s this business of it being a surprise, and why are some guys so focused on preserving that?
Post # 3
That is a really good question. My DH was dead set on the actual proposal being a surprise, even though we designed the ring together and I knew it was coming. He made me wait nearly two months before he finally popped the question just to keep me on my toes.
Post # 4
I loved that it was a surprise and had no idea it was coming..and I love that he felt the same way.
Post # 5
@EffieTrinket: Dude, I don’t get it etiher. Some people just seem to like it that way I guess!
Post # 6
My SO and I agreed that we’re “racing to the proposal”… Whoever proposes first “wins” (we’re very competitive).
We are aware that both of us are planning on proposing sometime between now and August, but we haven’t given each other an exact date either way.
Personally, I kinda want it to be a suprise. I think knowing it’s going to happen soon is satisfying enough for me.
Post # 7
I think FI wanted it to be a surprise just because we had done everything else together; talked about marriage, and I helped him pick out the ring I wanted. I think he wanted that one part of the engagement to be really special for me.
I knew it was going to happen, just not when. Fortunately, I only had to wait a day after the ring arrived! (and I wasn’t expecting the proposal, considering I was wearing jeans and a t-shirt..without makeup.) Lol.
Post # 8
You know what..I really wish it wasn’t a freakin suprise I want to know!!! NOW! LOL …Ok I had a few to many at the BBQ lol
Post # 9
according to my DH, because that’s “all they get”. Its a stereotype, but for the most part the bride does the lion’s share of the wedding planning, and even if he’s involved, he’ll defer to her in the event of a difference of opinion, so he says the proposal is for him, and the wedding is for her. He says the surprise factor is very very important, and most guys feeel really ripped off if thats taked away from them. Before the mob starts… I REALIZE these are mass generalizations here, and every couple is different.
Post # 10
For my FI, I think he wanted to follow tradition and be “the man”. lol Plus, my FI loves surprises and to catch me off guard but my little sister has let it slip that he was ring shopping so he made sure I was thrown for a loop. He paid careful attention to my jewelry (and ring size) and went to pick out the ering himself.
@MissNoodles: Exactly! The FI loves when he gets to tell people about the proposal.
Post # 11
for my FI i think the proposal felt almost like a rite of passage for him. The engagement wasn’t a surprise, we decided on that together. But the proposal was something he wanted to do as a surprise and I wouldn’t have wanted to take that experience away from him. It basically served as the marker for when we would announce our engagement.
Post # 12
I think its sweet when its a surprise. My DH said that he wanted to do it when he wanted to and pick the ring he wanted based on how well he knew me. He said please dont take that from me so I didnt. I dropped the subject and a few months later he proposed.
He proposed when he was ready and he picked out the perfect ring for me. He did a great job, 🙂
Post # 13
I think my SO feels like it has to be a surprise because that’s how it always is. I’d much prefer the scenario OP described, but surprises aren’t exactly my thing.
Post # 14
@EffieTrinket: You know, I have NO IDEA.
While I like surprises I’d like a timeframe. 🙂
I think for him its a traditional thing and him just wanting to be the man and all.
Post # 15
@EffieTrinket: That’s a damn good question! I hate surprises. Luckily my SO knows this about me and has agreed to give me a one-month heads up before he proposes. Yay compromise 🙂
Post # 16
I’ve always wondered the same thing about “surprise” proposals when the girl helps pick out the ring or knows he has it and is just waiting for it. I’m like what’s the point, put the ring on and call it a day! But then I started thing about the moment the proposal happens could still special. Its like the walk down the isle after a ‘first look’. I mean he already knew what I looked like and everything, we’d just been hanging out 15 minutes earlier, but it was still the moment that was special. Maybe its the same sort of thing for a proposal? I dont know, my proposal was a surprise and I had no idea he had the ring or was going to propose so soon.