Post # 1
I am planning 2 weddings (DW for 30 and at-home reception for 120) in May. To complicate things I have 4 separate families planning showers etc in the next months, plus my Fiance and I take dance lessons on weekends, and we’re in the middle of renovating our basement. I am doing everything myself with no help from any of my bridesmaids, or my mother and I feel like there is already not enough time to do everything.
My MOH is now telling me that she is planning a girls night, but won’t tell me when so that I can put it into my already overbooked schedule. She says that it is rude of me to ask, but my argument is that it is rude of her to assume that I can drop everything just because she has planned something without checking if I’m available.
Am I being unreasonable to ask her to clear the date with me before inviting my family and friends to something that I may not be able to attend?
Post # 3
I don’t think you’re being unreasonable – but maybe she’s afraid it will kill the surprise. Offer to give her 3 dates (which sounds like it might hard – but try). That way she can "surprise" you and you can keep some sanity.
Good luck – maybe during the girl’s night you can recruit some help.
Post # 4
My Maid/Matron of Honor is kind of scatterbrained (I mean this in the best way possible), and definitely not a planner, so I’m thinking that she may not be telling me when because she hasn’t actually planned anything, and doesn’t want to commit to a date.
Post # 5
I would let her know that you are really, really busy. And because you want to be able to enjoy this girls’ night out – and to be able to go without breaking another commitment at the last minute – these are the dates that would be good for you (give her two or three to choose from) and you need to know by such-and-such a date which one it will be.
My Fiance has had the same issue with his friends and his bachelor party – he finally told them it had to be one of two weekends, and he had to know by the end of the month. It was actually good as it gave them a kick in the butt to get planning, which is really what they needed.
I’m actually thinking about asking my girlfriends (who are mostly married anyway) if we can just have an old married girls’ party AFTER the wedding, as there is soooo much stuff stacked up before it that I think I’ll spend any weekend deal just worrying about what I’m not getting done (they want to do weekend in Vegas. I don’t think they care when – they just want to go to Vegas.)
Post # 6
Thanks for the advice girls! I appreciate it. I think I will try to find a couple of dates for her to choose from. I think she needs a kick in the butt too if she’s actually going to plan anything.