- 4 years ago
- Wedding: February 2018
Ok, maybe I should have put more info in my original post! Let me just say straight up that we were talking about a month in Europe as an ideal honeymoon but financially decided to think about it in the future. Now before people jump in and tell me not to put us under financial stress for no reason – I have organised with my parents for a small interest free loan, and the rest of the money I can organise myself with him finding out. I’m lucky that I mostly manage the finances so he doesn’t really check the accounts.
Firstly, thank you to the bees that helped with the ‘when to tell him’ question I actually had.
Secondly, thanks for the feedback, I am now actually thinking perhaps 3 days is too soon to fly out, and will consider organising the trip with a different departure date.
Now let me just explain a few things, that might clear up some of the issues that seem to have arisen;
1) My partner has plenty of leave accrued with his boss. We don’t only have 4 weeks leave a year in our jobs and I’m not so inconsiderate as to leave him with no leave for the remainder of the year.
2) We love surprises, we do it a lot and it means a lot to us.
3) As I mentioned just above, we wanted to go to Europe for a month but we never discussed it in detail, so it would still be a great surprise and it’s something he really wants to do.
4) I plan on visiting friends of ours in London we haven’t seen in years for the first week, leaving the middle two weeks free so he can plan them with me in England, then we’ll have the final week planned as a cycle tour (which he loves doing). This way he gets the excitement of planning.
5) As far as packing goes, my partner is a ‘throw it all in the bag and she’ll be right’ kind of man. He doesn’t get excited about packing, doesn’t spend a week doing it, and we are pretty light travelers anyway, and would buy any specialty clothing we needed over there – it’s what we’ve done and discussed in the past.
6) The big issue – organising my partner’s leave with his boss. My partner works in the agriculture industry, we live in a small town and it’s not considered rude, unprofessional, and it won’t interfere as it will be the quietest time of year before seeding and after harvest.
I really do appreciate all the help and concerns raised by you lovely ladies and it has made me think that perhaps I’ll schedule it for a week after the wedding rather than three days to let the excitement sink in. However I’m surprised at all the negativity straight away! My partner and I have been together for over 8 years and know each other pretty well, surely the go to assumption would be that I’d consider how he’d think of this, how it would affect him and whether he’d like it or not? I understand it might not be for everyone but just because you’d personally hate a surprise month-long honeymoon doesn’t mean everybody does.
Again, I realise I definitely should have posted that a month in Europe is what we’ve discussed for years but never set about organising (I’m definitely the organiser out of the two of us, I make the phone calls, organise insurances and such).
Thank you again and I really do appreciate your help. Any further suggestions on how or when to tell him would be much appreicated.