(Closed) Surprise or choosing your own ring?

posted 9 years ago in Rings
  • poll: Suprise ring or choosing your own?

    ring shopping together?! hell yes!

    I love surprises! I would love whatever he would choose for me.


  • Post # 47
    35 posts
    • Wedding: September 2013

    I have a friend whose fiance designed a ring for her. it’s beautiful, but it is the opposite of anything she would want. I feel so bad for her bc it looks kinda unnatural on herbc it’s bulky and she’s so petite…she loves the meaning behind it but it’s uncomfortable for her to wear. this is a classic example of a groom who should have factored in her preferences more…  :/

    @mandy102:  that’s how it was for me – we were going to go together but were at a vintage jewelry store with another friend and he told me to try on some rings for fun. he put down the deposit a week later and I would look at pictures of that ring all the time. he did layaway & paid it off for a year (work was slow) so i REALLY didn’t know when the proposal was coming! honestly, I think I love my ring more bc I know the labor he put in to pay it off and bc I pined after it for a year…it gets more beautiful every day to me. AND I got what I want. no magic lost!


    Post # 48
    807 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: December 2013

    The surprise element of the ring was not important to me so I picked out my own ring. Fiance was not involved in the process, his only concern was my happiness so he had no problem taking a step back. 

    Post # 49
    145 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: August 2014

    We picked my ring out together. Fiance made it clear to me about 1.5 years prior to the proposal that he wanted me to be a part of picking out rings because “he wanted to make sure it was perfect”. This past December it was finally time to go ring shopping. I had a ring picked out online and when I tried it on in the store I knew it was the one. I tried on a few others just to make sure, but my Fiance loved the original just as much as me. He bought the ring in December, picked it up at the start of January, and proposed at the end of January. The way that he proposed completely caught me off-guard and surprised me! I wasn’t allowed to know when he picked it up from the jeweler (I found this out after the proposal). So for about a month it was hidden in our apartment and I didn’t even find it. 


    I think it really depends on each couple individually. For us it was extremely special to share that moment together at the jeweler. And the fact that he managed to surprise me with the proposal was amazing! 

    Post # 50
    6375 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: July 2013 - UK

    We discussed getting married, and I started accidentally on purpose leaving jewellery catalogues around with rings circled, to show him the sort of thing I like (yeah, I know… I’m subtle like that). They weren’t Tiffany’s catalogues or anything… just the Argos catalogue etc etc.

    He then eventually bought me something similar to the catalogue rings, but much nicer. I wouldn’t have liked to go with him to pick the ring… it just seems so unromantic to me. Also, I would have felt that I had to select a cheaper ring, and I would have felt guilty about the cost. Better that I didn’t know. Finally, he and I try to avoid money discussions unless they are essential because we think they can be vulgar… we’ve had to talk about money a lot for this wedding, but at least I dodged a bullet and avoided discussing it when he bought my ring!

    Post # 51
    1638 posts
    Bumble bee

    I told my fiance that I wanted a princess cut diamond and any metal but yellow gold. And he picked the perfect ring for me. It’s beautiful. I didn’t want to go ring shopping with him, I wanted everything else to be picked by him.

    Post # 52
    636 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: October 2014

    @lsimpson: SO has asked me to look at rings and I ended up as confused as ever!

    I started off liking halos, then pave, then split shanks, then just a plain solitaire…

    I really can’t decide so i want to tell him to just pick out something that makes him think of me.

    To me that is the most important sentiment.

    Post # 53
    88 posts
    Worker bee
    • Wedding: June 2014

    For me its got to be a surprise. We have been together long enough that he knows my style. I trust his judgement, with the previous jewelry he has given me have been he hasn’t been wrong. Recently, he wanted to have some information between a good diamond and a bad one. I also mentioned that I’d prefer having a good quality cut diamond rather than a large poorly cut one. With my birthday and our anniversary a few months away… I’ll wait and see what surprises he has up his sleeve. 

    Post # 54
    2936 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: July 2015

    @walnutgirl:  I’m the same way! I change my mind ALL the time of what I want. My SO always listens and smiles and at least humors me, but in the end thankfully he will choose and that way I’ll never feel like I made the wrong choice because he knows me so well 🙂 Plus then it is a complete surprise and he can brag about how well he did. lol

    Post # 55
    65 posts
    Worker bee
    • Wedding: August 2014

    I told him general ideas of what I wanted (round stone, some aquamarines) and he go the setting custom made for me.  I love it.  It’s the perfect combination of our tastes.

    Post # 56
    734 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: July 2013

    I sent him a bunch of pictures of rings as a “just in case” or “for future reference”. I talked with my college roommate a lot about rings, and she told him, and he also went on my pinterest page. He was able to get an idea of what I wanted, without me knowing exactly what I was getting. And my ring is PERFECT!

    Post # 57
    6386 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: April 2013

    We picked out the ring togehter.  I have tiny hands, I wanted a moissanite, and I’m picky on top of that; plus, I hate these kinds of surprises (I want to be surprised with cake, not life altering decisions).  I don’t think there is a right or wrong way, it’s just what works for that couple.  As long as you’re happily engaged, the rest shouldn’t matter.

    Post # 58
    1606 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: May 2014

    We went ring shopping together and picked out 3 favorites.  It was his job from there to pick THE ring.

    Post # 59
    7972 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper
    • Wedding: October 2013

    i wanted my ring to be a surprise.  i gave my Fiance pictures of what i wanted.  he had a jeweler design it for him.  one day my Fiance told me he wanted me to talk to the jeweler because some ideas that i had canceled the other one out (i’m drawing a complete blank on the word i want to use right here).

    I told Fiance, that I showed him pictures and the jeweler needed to use his best judgement to design the ring.

    I couldn’t have been happier with my ring.  it was exactly what I could have imagined.


    Post # 60
    118 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: September 2015

    I don’t think it ruins the surprise at all. I picked out my setting but Fiance picked the diamond so there still was an element of surprise. At first we were going to go look and have me find 2-3 settings that he would ultimately decide from but I fell IN LOVE with my setting, and he basically asked if I even liked the other settings anymore lol. 

    I initally thought I wanted a princess cut solitare but ended up loving the halo with intricate filigree I got, had I not been part of the process I would have gotten a solitare, which would have been fine, but I love the uniqueness of my ring! 🙂 

    Post # 61
    11 posts
    • Wedding: April 2014

    My Fiance asked me after 4 years of dating, and still surprised me even though we talked about what rings I liked it. We never went to look at rings, but as people got engaged I would just make comments like, I like that, or I DONT like that. Haha, to each their own right? He asked his parents to go with him to pick it out, and that I know is a moment they all very much cherish. So that alone I say leave it up to him, because they had a lot of fun picking through all the rings, versus going in and saying, that’s it. She already told me so. I didn’t have a clue what I was getting, and after he proposed & I finally stopped crying enough to see the ring, I started crying harder. I think it adds something to the moment not knowing. My fiance picked out a beautiful setting, with a diamond that’s been passed through the family for 150+ years, which was being passed down to him when he wanted it. Something he’d been hiding from the start. He even got me a setting that is raised enough so I can get whatever wedding band I wanted, and wasn’t limited to just one kind. I didn’t even know I wanted that! I say have a little faith in him.

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