(Closed) Surprise or No Surprise… That is the question!

posted 7 years ago in Pregnancy
Post # 32
Member
336 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2009

@MrsPhilly:  I love this question:)

 

We are team green as of right now at DH’s insistence.  At first I was against the idea but now that I think about it I kind of like it, for a lot of the reasons PPs have given (I think we’ll get a lot of gender neutral stuff, which we can use the second time around, hopefully!).  I also think people are less temped by gender neutral onsies, clothes, and accessories, and I really don’t want to end up with too many clothes.  I have friends who’s babies outgrow their clothes before they can even use them!  

 

That all being said, one of my girlfriends who had a little girl a couple of years ago said she connected so much more with the pregnancy once she knew the gender, so from that perspective I think it’s so fun to be able to find out early.

 

Post # 33
Member
485 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

We are pregnant now, and planning on finding out. I can definitely see the fun in waiting, but I just couldn’t do it! It’ll be a surprise at 20 weeks. 😉 I’m far too type-A and a “planner” to wait. Plus I think it may be frustrating for those attending showers! I think it would be really exciting to be team green, but it’s not for me! 

Post # 34
Member
887 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: February 2012

I’m about 7 weeks along and find myself referring to the baby as “our little guy… I mean, or girl”. Eep! I need to stop thinking of this baby as a boy and then feeling guilty. That’s why I want/need to find out the gender ASAP so I can adjust my thinking accordingly. 

 

ETA: Darling Husband and I have considered finding out but then just not telling people so that we receive more neutral items and hopefully less clothes. But in the end, I’m a horrible secret keeper and I hate the color yellow so we’ll see…

 

Post # 35
Member
1339 posts
Bumble bee

I will not be finding out the sex until I give birth. Maybe I will change my mind when I’m actually pregnant but until then I don’t want to keep it a surprise!

Post # 36
Member
601 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: March 2013

I found out with both of mine and loved knowing made it easier to bond with them and I just couldn’t wait

Post # 37
Member
4581 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

We originally planned for it to be a surprise, for a couple of reasons. One being that there really are so few true surprises and I thought it would be fun. The other, more practical, reason is so that we’d be more likely to get useful items (and gender neutral things that could be reused) as gifts, and less clothes if we didn’t find out the gender.

Of course, when I got pregnant and our anatomy scan got closer, Darling Husband started to waver and we ultimately decided to just find out. We don’t regret it; I think knowing has allowed me to connect more with the baby.

Post # 38
Member
7778 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2010

Our girls are 8 years apart.  When I was pregnant with the baby, we took the older one to the ultrasound and she was there when they annouced it was a girl.  It was super exciting and fun for our whole family!  It helped with the transition of adding a new member to our family.

Post # 39
Member
117 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

I’m 16 weeks and we’re team green.  It’s one of the few surprises in life.  Not only that it prevents my mother from taking total control of everything. I was on the fence until our conversation last week that went like this “If it’s a girl we can paint her room pink, and buy pink bedding, and pink clothes”.  I’m not really a super girly girl to begin with and we decided the nursery wouldn’t be pink even if it is a girl.  So, after that conversation I firmly made up my mind. Now it can be our decision on what goes into our home.  

Post # 40
Member
1090 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

We are definitely finding out, and I can’t wait because thus far I feel somewhat un-attached to this pregnancy.  Not only do I want to find out to get the correct clothing (we plan on doing gender neutral big item things for future kiddos), but I can’t WAIT to finally call this baby a he or a she!!! Seriously, it has been one of my biggest pet peeves during pregnancy, “it, baby, he/she,” I can’t wait until I can officially call it whatever it is!  Grrr I hate calling it “it” like he/she is a some sort of weird strange thing instead of our precious little baby.  I honestly feel like once I find out I will finally be able to develop a closer bond to “it.” I think it is a surprise whether you find out during your pregnancy or at the end. I also think it will help get my Darling Husband a little more on board, I don’t think he has felt much attachment to this pregnancy either.  Maybe it’s also because I am barely showing still, too, I dont know.  Ever since not having terrible morning sickness I sometimes forget I’m even pregnant :

I am counting down the days, only 25 left!!! Yaaaay! 

Post # 41
Member
1090 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

@WreckerBabe:  P.S., you should come join us on the September Babies board! 🙂 

Post # 42
Member
604 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: March 2014 - Narrawallee reserve/beach & Mollymook golf club

One of the girls at work’s son and his girlfriend had a baby last year and they found out the sex… Poor little Jackson came home to a beautiful pink room full of pretty pink clothes! Don’t ruin the surprise for the sake of money. Just make a great unisex room that you can add boy or girl touches to if you so wish. 

Post # 43
Member
4505 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

I really see both sides of this one. I don’t fully understand the “surprise” factor, because it seems like it’d be just as good a surprise to find out during an ultrasound at 20 weeks as it would be to find out when the baby’s born. 

As for planning, I really don’t think it helps to know the baby’s sex beforehand. I think it’s more useful to get unisex stuff anyway, unless you *know* you’re only going to have 1 kid.

The one big advantage I can see to finding out is that it makes choosing a name a lot easier.

The one big disadvabtage I can see to finding out is that you might get incorrect info, and then wouldn’t it suck to have all the wrong stuff picked out?

We decided not to find out, but I honestly could have gone either way. I’m very ambivalent about it.

Post # 44
Member
820 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

We decided not to find out the gender of our little one, or for any future pregnancies either. We felt that since there are very few true surprises left today that this is something we could really llok forward to. Plus I really like the idea of Darling Husband telling me the sex of our baby, since it will allow him to be more involved in the delivery process. What reinforced our decision was when a friend of mine delivered her baby boy in december after being told she was having a girl. 

Post # 45
Member
904 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2015

I know that I will HAVE to find out as soon as I’m able; I feel like it’ll help me connect more to the baby, and I am also one of those people who NEEDS information if it’s available.  And honestly, it’s a surprise no matter what!  I would just rather find out at 20 weeks rather than 40.  

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