(Closed) Surprise proposal vs. Expected proposal

posted 10 years ago in Proposals
  • poll: What was your proposal & your proposal preference?

    Was surprised and wouldn't have ever wanted to know

    Was surprised; however, would have liked to know

    Knew it was coming and wouldn't have had it any other way

    Knew it was coming and now wish it was a surprise

  • Post # 3
    608 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: August 2011

    I could tell he was getting close to proposing and had a pretty good hunch that he would propose somewhere within a 3-4 month time period but the actual proposal was a big suprise. 

    Post # 4
    893 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: September 2011

    We picked out the ring together so I knew a proposal was coming but didn’t know where/when/how/etc.

    So I’m sort if in-between. I was surprised when it did happen, but not OMG-I-had-no-idea-you-were-even-considering-marrying-me-ever kind of thing.

    I think couples discussing marriage and when each sees it happening, is a normal, healthy conversation and doesn’t ruin the proposal at all.

    Post # 5
    5653 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: February 2012

    While I knew my Fiance had the ring so I was expecting a proposal, I was still completely surprised and taken aback when he actually proposed! I’m not sure how to answer your poll.

    I really liked ring shopping with my Fiance so I absoutely wouldn’t change the way it all unfolded. 🙂

    Post # 6
    4581 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: October 2011

    I can’t really vote because I kind of knew it was coming because we’d been talking a lot about getting engaged, but I was still shocked when he actually proposed.

    Post # 7
    3373 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: October 2011

    I absolutely loved knowing. It made everything about our relationship a partnership instead of being surprised by the proposal or falling into it. And it was still incredibly romantic and the actual moment was a surprise (I knew it was coming, but not when).

    I was proposed to previously. It was a surprise and I wish I had known! Once he’s on one knee it’s hard to say no. It ended pretty badly that way and I wasn’t prepared for it.

    Post # 8
    4038 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: October 2010

    I knew he had the ring and I knew the day he was planning on proposing. I kinda wish I had known less, but it was still special to me. 

    Post # 9
    15462 posts
    Honey Beekeeper
    • Wedding: June 2011

    @Liss: I agree!  I totally don’t get how people are still in the ‘waiting’ stage when they already went to pick out the ring or know he has it or have even gone so far as to start planning.  I seriously dont understand the ‘proposal’ at that point .. just a silly formality to me.  It’s one thing to talk about getting married and say that someday or soon you want to get engaged, then then ‘when’ is still completely in the air and you still feel like its could be an if it ever happens. I would say we had talked about, but not ever really seriously or even anything about when.  Things were just going great and we figured we’d get there eventually, so when he did propose it was a surprise.

    Post # 10
    1086 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: May 2012

    we pick out my ring together (and he bought it) but he didnt just give me the ring…he waited like 13 hours then proposed

    Post # 11
    610 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: May 2011

    Me and Fiance had talked about marriage. We knew we wanted to get married one day. I kind of knew it was coming because i had a ring i would wear every once in a while. I went to grab it one day and it was gone. I asked our room mates if they seen it and neither one did. Than i asked Fiance and he had it in his pocket. I thought that was kind of odd. Than that night we went to my parents for dinner and he asked if he could speak to them privatley. Also out of the ordinary. Than our last stop was the mall. He told me i had to wait in the car. Again weird. So when we got home i was taking my make-up off and getting ready for bed and he kept falling me around wherever i went. Than he said it. Come sit down i have a question for you. And he proposed in the bedroom. I kind of seen it coming but, it was still somewhat of a surprise. I guess he originally bought the wedding band instead of the engagement ring and my mom told him to go exchange it (so that’s why we had to stop at the mall). I guess he was so excited he couldn’t wait.

    Post # 12
    13094 posts
    Honey Beekeeper
    • Wedding: July 2010

    Honestly – I worry for anyone who’s proposal was a complete and utter surprise.  Entering into an engagement having never discussed marriage and plans before just isn’t smart IMO.

    That said – you don’t have to know all the details either!

    I’d say my proposal was a surprise (by my definition).  We’d discussed getting engaged / married and I knew he was intending to propose sometime in the next 6 months or so just because of our discussions.  I knew he had looked at rings (not with me though – he wanted to do that all on his own) but didn’t know that one had even been bought.

    So when he actually asked, I had no clue of the planned date, time, manner, ring, ect.  That was all a complete surprise even though I knew a proposal was coming in the semi-near future.

    ETA: Just saw your clarification to the OP.

    Post # 14
    111 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: April 2012

    I knew pretty much to the exact minute when he was going to propose.  We had picked out the ring and were waiting on the jeweler to finish setting it.  He had already told me that he was going to propose as soon as he picked it up because we both couldn’t wait.  It was supposed to be ready on Tuesday… then Wednesday… then Thursday… then finally on Friday it was ready.  We had already made plans for dinner, so we decided that we’d meet at my place first to do the proposal before going out to celebrate.  When he came over, he actually made a joke of it by starting with “so, let’s have a little chat” and acting overly casual when we both knew what was coming.  Even though it was not a surprise, I have to say that I still cried hysterically! 

    I wouldn’t change a thing about my proposal 🙂

    Post # 15
    938 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: October 2012

    I knew i was coming because he’s not very good at sneaking around.  he would ask me questions out of the blue like “where’s that ring you showed me a few months ago that you liked” or “whats that stone shape you like” etc.. and he would go off shopping on his own, which he NEVER does. and wouldn’t let me come along. 

    however, he doesn’t know that i knew.  he thinks it was a surprise. and I NEVER plan on telling him otherwise. 

    Post # 16
    7294 posts
    Busy Beekeeper

    my Fiance asked me long before we ever got engaged how i wanted him to propose. i had never really thought about anything specific and so i told him all i really wanted was a good story to tell and to be surprised.  but i also wanted some say in the ring.  so we did look at rings together and i picked one.  but then i made it clear he still had to surprise me!  and he totally did!  it was a year later and i was getting impatient. we had a convo in the afternoon while camping and he truly made me believe he had not even bought the ring yet!  so of course i was out of my mind surprised when he popped the question that night on the beach!

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