(Closed) Surprise shower and uninvited guests

posted 4 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
4 posts
  • Wedding: May 2014

I don’t think there is anything you need to do but send them thank you cards. I wouldn’t hint anything at the FMIL, unless she starts poking around asking for you to invite these people. I’ve been at showers where friends of the mom or aunt have been invited, but were not invited to the wedding itself.  If your FMIL pushes, I would jsut say while we would love to have eveyrone there, we have to sticki within the confines of the budget.

Post # 4
2421 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2015

Just send them a sincere thank you note. I don’t think there is much you can do that won’t cause tension between you and your FMIL at this point.

Post # 6
45531 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

@Little_Nut88:  It may very well be proper etiquette to restrict the shower guest ist to those also invited to the wedding, but there are always exceptions to every rule.

Many women have friends for years and they like to celebrate the milestones in their children’s lives together. I am sure those women were fully aware that they are not invited to the wedding and still wanted to celebrate her son’s upcoming wedding with your FMIL and they also likely wanted to meet the bride.

Given  that you were te guest of honor, and did not issue the invitations, I suggest you send a thank-you note and move on.

Post # 7
1402 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: February 2014

@Little_Nut88:  My mom also invited people to my shower that are not invited to the wedding.

My thought – she invited them…she can deal with the awkwardness if they get upset they weren’t invited to the wedding.  Her problem, not mine.

Post # 8
1641 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2013

My mom invited one of her friends to my bridal shower AND TO MY WEDDING! (I had no intention of inviting this person). Thankfully, the person said she was so sorry she couldn’t make it to my wedding, as she had plans. But come on now!! Ugh. Lol.

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