Post # 1
Hi everyone! This is my first post, i am quite excited about it!
Our wedding is June 4, and the fun has really begun. My Maid/Matron of Honor is my sister, and i have 2 very supportive and amazing families who all live very close. This is the first wedding in the family for both sides so everyone is thrilled.
Here is my problem. Not only am i bit of a control freak (aren’t we all in this process?!) but i really like to have dates set aside for showers etc so i am not planning to meet with vendors for last minute appts, hair trails and the works. I also would really like to know when things are happening to ensure that i don’t show up to a room full of family and friends not looking my finest!
I found out through my mom’s office calendar (we work together!) that there are 2 “surprise” showers coming, one in May, one in April. Of course i have not told her that i know of the dates, and i really don’t have any information on either of them (where, when, thrown by whom etc) and i really don’t need to know. I just don’t want them to be dissapointed that i know, and i would really love to just ask them to let me know what dates “events” will take place so that i can be a) prepared and b) excited!
What do i do now? Do I tell her that i know something is up on those dates, or play stupid? I ahve already had to reschedule a meeting with our photographers (which i wouldn’t have been able to do had i not found the surprise dates) but would love to have these days set aside and know that something fun will be happening. Do i maybe talk to her and my sister and explain that i really, really don’t want “surprises”… the surprises can be in the details, but that i would like to know the dates?
Now that i have confirmed the dates with my Fiance, he has also told me to save the last weekend before the wedding for something else – bachlorette? Who knows. I hate being in the dark. I would also like to be able to talk to those planning things about people who i would love to have invited, and even things i really don’t want (i am not one for bridal shower games, strippers at the bachelorette etc).
Help!?! Any and all advice is so greatly appreciated!
Post # 3
I know that, at least in my case, it was really important to my sisters and mom that my shower stayed a surprise. I ended up finding out through my Future Mother-In-Law who let enough info slip that I know when it is (next weekend!!) but I’m going to put on my surprised face because I know how hard my family worked on it and I don’t want to ruin it for them.
My mom also swore that she would tell Fiance and I either the night before or the morning of, just so we don’t show up looking like scrubs!
I would ask to know right before so you can get dolled up, but keep it to yourself that you are aware of the exact dates 🙂
And, welcome to the hive!
Post # 4
Give up some control girl! Your friends and family wanted to surprise you.
Unfortunately you already know the dates. So you don’t have any worries about not being dressed appropriately or having your makeup done. Don’t tell anyone you already know their plans. Why would you want to ruin their fun?
If you want to avoid potential conflicts in the future, share your calendar of vendor appointments with your Fiance or your Mom.- or both. You can tell them you want them to know in case you want either one of them to accompany you.People are likely to check with one of them if there are any other events being scheduled.
Post # 5
You guys are right… since i already know too much i can just go with it… appreciate the advice!!
MissMaine – have a FABULOUS shower next weekend!!! 🙂 🙂 🙂
Post # 6
My wonderful fiance last night told me to just ‘act’ surprised for my shower on Sunday. He was on the phone with his mother when he said, oh my sister is coming home? then i instantly knew that she was coming home for my shower. I was told it was another friend’s shower who is getting married 15 days after i am. I suspected that this was actually my shower, but I had a lot of doubts and REALLY REALLY wanted to be surprised. The other day I realized that my registery items were flying off the shelf, while my friends (whose shower it was supposed to be) registry was untouched. Then I recieved a check in the mail from someone who told me they wouldn’t be able to attend the shower-though they didn’t give a date. Why did FH have to tell me to act surprised!? Why couldn’t he just say his sister was home for our friends shower? sigh. I would have only suspected still had he not said that. I never had a surprise party before and I was really looking forward to it. But now I know when and where it will be. Am I supposed to act surprised? I feel guilty for knowing and hiding it. I feel sad for my fiance – who feels WORSE. But I know my sister and bridesmaids are working hard on this and I don’t want to make them feel bad too! Darnit! I don’t know if I should be mad or embarrassed or guilty or what. The next 5 days will be difficult, embarrassing and stressful now
Post # 7
Play stupid…let them have their fun!