Post # 1
So today my FI’s grandmother flew in for a wedding for my FI’s cousin that’s this weekend. We went over to FI’s parents’ for dinner, and grandma had a big box on my chair. I open it, and inside is a giant, beautiful, glossy flatware case that’s deep red with carved flowers. I coo over it, because I’m thinking it’s meant to hold my formal, stainless flatware, and I thank her. She smiles and says, “Open it.” An entire set of antique sterling Tiffany flatware, called Richelieu stares back up at me.
I. Was. Floored.
These are a few photos I found online; this pattern apparently is discontinued and it was really hard to find pics. I DROPPED MY DIGITAL CAMERA IN MY SINK, ugggh, so I can’t take photos right now. (I had pics of my niece’s first dance recital on there. I can’t even talk about it.)
I was actually crying tears of joy and I was really just thrilled by her generosity, and how exquisite and special and generous this all is. This was her wedding sterling and she just decided recently to give it to Fiance and me. We will cherish this set for ever, because it is deeply sentimental.
So in spite of how lovely this all is, we do have a problem. We registered for a formal stainless pattern at Bloomingdale’s, and two people have already purchased us 5-piece sets of it! It was very pricey, and so generous. But obviously, we no longer need a set of formal stainless because we have this heirloom set of sterling. What do we do about the two sets we’ve received? Do we just take them back to Bloomingdales and exchange them for something else on our registry? (That feels kind of duplicitous to me.) Or do we be honest and tell the two gift givers what happened and give the sets back? (This feels potentially very hurtful, and like I’m causing a big headache for my guests.) I was considering not saying anything, but if I just remove the stainless off my registry, I wonder if people might notice.
What do you ladies think I should do? What would you do if you were me and you were concerned about how to deal with gifts no longer needed, given by two very nice guests? Thank you for reading!
Post # 3
Solution: Send the stainless to me, because I loved the pics of it that you posted in a different post. Just kidding! (Sort of. )
Really, I have no idea what I would do. I completely see why you’re torn over this one; this could be a potentially awkward situation. You don’t want your gift givers to feel as if what they did is unappreciated, but you don’t want to just take back the sets and never say a word. I hate it when people register for things that they purposely plan on taking back in exchange for cash. I know this isn’t what you were doing at all, but you don’t want to look like that was your intention. (That’s what I’d worry about too.)
Congrats on your new sterling! Your FI’s grandmother sounds like a real sweetie. Good luck working this one out, hopefully someone else here can give you some good advice. This is tricky.
Post # 4
lol paris! Girl, I so would if I could, that might solve my problem. “I loved my gift but this chick I know wanted my stainless, sorry.”
Thank you honey! She is a definite sweetheart and my Fiance has always been so close to her. I’m happy we’re going to be family soon.
Post # 5
What about using your grandmother’s set for holiday family get togethers and use the other sets for entertaining guests throughout the year. You could also use the other sets for everyday.
Post # 6
I would use the stainless for everyday or even just when you have people over and reserve the silver for holidays and formal gatherings. I too have my grandma’s silver but we use stainless on a daily basis because it is easier to care for and Fiance does not like the taste silver adds to food (his words) so the silver sits in its case at my parents’ house for now. However, if you already have nice everyday stainless or really like sliver, I would suggest returning the gifts and removing the remaining sets from your registry. If the givers ever inquire, simply tell them you recieved an unexpected gift from FI’s grandmother and I am sure they will appriciate the sentimental value.
Post # 7
slicely has it right ^^^^^
Post # 8
I agree that there’s nothing wrong with returning the sets you’ve already received and taking the remaining off of your registry. But I also would appreciate knowing as a guest who’d bought you the stainless that you were completely floored and surprised when your grandmother gifted you a complete set of silver after you’d already registered. It wouldn’t “cause a headache” as a guest, and I don’t understand why it would be hurtful, I would just be honest and let them know how grateful you are.
Post # 10
The thing about sterling is you have to use it or it tarnishes. So I would use it more often than just holidays, especially if you don’t want to get it polished very often. Just return the stainless sets to Bloomingdales and get something else off your registry. Your friends who bought the sets for you don’t need to know, and if they do inquire, tell them the truth.
Post # 11
I’d imagine you could return the sets from Macy’s if they were a gift. But like other posters said sterling will tarnish if you don’t use it all the time – and I doubt you’ll use it all the time since utensils used every day have the potential to get dropped in garbage disposals or put in the dishwasher. I think keeping both sets is fine. I have sterling that I only use on very special occasions.
Post # 12
Thank you so much for your input, ladies! I think we might go ahead and keep the stainless on there and keep the sets we already have; it could be nice to have different options, especially around the holidays. Thanks so much for all those who commented!
Post # 13
My grandparents never use their wedding china or silverware. Not even on special occasions. It’s very strange.
I would use the one from grandma for special occasions and as an heirloom. Use the one from your registry as every-day cutlery. 🙂
Post # 14
Oh, what a pleasant problem to have!
It sounds to me like you’re doing the absolute best thing — honoring and appreciating everyone’s generous gestures.
And may I say, (a) you have a lovely grandmother-in-law-to-be, and (b) that silver is gorgeous!