(Closed) SURPRISE sterling but guests have already bought us our formal stainless! Help?

posted 8 years ago in Gifts and Registries
Post # 3
11 posts
  • Wedding: February 2011

Solution: Send the stainless to me, because I loved the pics of it that you posted in a different post. Just kidding! (Sort of. Wink)

Really, I have no idea what I would do. I completely see why you’re torn over this one; this could be a potentially awkward situation. You don’t want your gift givers to feel as if what they did is unappreciated, but you don’t want to just take back the sets and never say a word. I hate it when people register for things that they purposely plan on taking back in exchange for cash. I know this isn’t what you were doing at all, but you don’t want to look like that was your intention. (That’s what I’d worry about too.)

Congrats on your new sterling! Your FI’s grandmother sounds like a real sweetie. Good luck working this one out, hopefully someone else here can give you some good advice. This is tricky.

Post # 5
8353 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: March 2011

What about using your grandmother’s set for holiday family get togethers and use the other sets for entertaining guests throughout the year. You could also use the other sets for everyday.

Post # 6
2889 posts
Sugar bee

I would use the stainless for everyday or even just when you have people over and reserve the silver for holidays and formal gatherings. I too have my grandma’s silver but we use stainless on a daily basis because it is easier to care for and Fiance does not like the taste silver adds to food (his words) so the silver sits in its case at my parents’ house for now. However, if you already have nice everyday stainless or really like sliver, I would suggest returning the gifts and removing the remaining sets from your registry. If the givers ever inquire, simply tell them you recieved an unexpected gift from FI’s grandmother and I am sure they will appriciate the sentimental value.

Post # 7
250 posts
Helper bee

slicely has it right ^^^^^

Post # 8
647 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2011

I agree that there’s nothing wrong with returning the sets you’ve already received and taking the remaining off of your registry.  But I also would appreciate knowing as a guest who’d bought you the stainless that you were completely floored and surprised when your grandmother gifted you a complete set of silver after you’d already registered.  It wouldn’t “cause a headache” as a guest, and I don’t understand why it would be hurtful, I would just be honest and let them know how grateful you are.

Post # 9
236 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

I agree with Slicey

Post # 10
499 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

The thing about sterling is you have to use it or it tarnishes.  So I would use it more often than just holidays, especially if you don’t want to get it polished very often.  Just return the stainless sets to Bloomingdales and get something else off your registry.  Your friends who bought the sets for you don’t need to know, and if they do inquire, tell them the truth.

Post # 11
2867 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

I’d imagine you could return the sets from Macy’s if they were a gift. But like other posters said sterling will tarnish if you don’t use it all the time – and I doubt you’ll use it all the time since utensils used every day have the potential to get dropped in garbage disposals or put in the dishwasher. I think keeping both sets is fine. I have sterling that I only use on very special occasions.

Post # 13
365 posts
Helper bee

My grandparents never use their wedding china or silverware.  Not even on special occasions.  It’s very strange.

I would use the one from grandma for special occasions and as an heirloom.  Use the one from your registry as every-day cutlery. 🙂

Post # 14
1235 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

Oh, what a pleasant problem to have! Smile

It sounds to me like you’re doing the absolute best thing — honoring and appreciating everyone’s generous gestures.

And may I say, (a) you have a lovely grandmother-in-law-to-be, and (b) that silver is gorgeous!

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