(Closed) Surprise Wedding Reception – Invitation/no registry help!

posted 6 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
46408 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

I would end it after the first sentence.

People will get the idea that gifts are welcomed without your bringing it up .

Post # 4
1917 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: April 2012

I don’t think you need to say anything about gifts.  You wouldn’t include gift information for a wedding with advanced planning.  It’s no different for this situation.

Post # 5
3886 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

I don’t think it’s polite to come right out and ask for gifts on someone else’s behalf. I think you need to leave that off. People who normally bring a gift will do so. Not everyone is comfortable asking their friends for gifts, and they may be really uncomfortable if you ask in their name.

Post # 7
104 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: March 2013

You might want to try a tweak on what you are saying… I think its fine to mention gifts for a surprise but maybe like this…

“Due to the fact that this is a surprise, the lovely couple isn’t registered.  As with any new couple, gifts would be welcomed and appreciated, but are absolutely not required!”

Post # 8
3092 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

I agree with the first poster.  First sentence is all you need :j

Post # 9
3265 posts
Sugar bee

It is not good manners to mention gifts on any type of invitation.  It would be equally impolite to mention “no gifts”. 

People who want to bring gifts will.


Post # 10
2874 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: March 2013

the problem is, even though its lovely what youre doing, people will interpret it as gift grabbing (and probably think that the couple are behind it)

Also a lot of people resent being asked to give gifts if they arent invited to the actual event

i would just mention you want to invite them to a surprise wedding reception/celebration type thing. you cant really ask for gifts!

@SageMustard:  well thats definitely better than the original wording. because if you mention gifts it will seem they are obligatory.

you could ask people if they wanted to do a joint gift with you – i dont think thats inappropriate

Post # 11
1186 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: April 2012

I wouldn’t mention gifts at all.

Post # 12
1920 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: March 2012

I wouldn’t mention anything about gifts/registry. It is everyones decision whether or not they will bring gifts for the couple. It’s not your concern and giving them ideas of where/what types of gifts to get comes off kind of rude.

Post # 13
827 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

That’s so nice of you to plan a reception for your friend!! I don’t think you need to even mention the part about not being registered and suggesting gift cards because if people are invited to a wedding reception, they should know that it is good manners to bring a gift. I’m sure they’ll end up with gift cards and cash without you even having to mention it! Hope everything turns out well!!

Post # 14
942 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

I agree to not mention gifts. It’s completely up to the guest if the want to bring one or not and can come across quite rude if mentioned on the invite. The couple will receive SOME gifts at least. Even at our pre-planned wedding reception some people didn’t buy gifts but they still got a thank you card for coming, it was their choice to not bring anything and I’d never question their choices

Post # 15
1876 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

Don’t say anything, people who want to will bring gifts. And no matter what the couple will be happily surprised. 

Post # 16
928 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

OP, I like what you wrote.

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