(Closed) Surprised about Bees gender desires

posted 9 years ago in Pregnancy
Post # 3
3467 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: April 2011

@Sea_bass:  I wanted a boy… got a girl. We were team green though so not much time to have disappointment with the exictement of baby’s arrival!

Post # 4
1595 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

I wanted a boy (and that’s what I’m having).  I liked the idea of a big brother first if we have girls later on, and DH and I have a really hard time agreeing on girl names.   However, DH won’t admit it, but I know he wanted a little girl.  We’re excited to meet our little man soon, though!

Post # 5
5317 posts
Bee Keeper

It’s common in 1st world countries to prefer a girl and when gender is selected at places which that can be done, it’s typically girl.


I know that’s unintuitive considering in India, China, etc., they prefer boys, to the point of abandoning girl newborns.

It’s interesting to think of the reasons this may be, but it’s not a bee-specific phenomenon. Even my Fiance and I are hoping our first is a girl (and second is a boy), but you can see our emphasis is still on “girl.” We are both really looking forward to a daughter. And he’s a man (the stereotype is that men want a son).

By the way, a daughter can carry on the family name. We’ll be using my last name for our new family.

Post # 8
7384 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2013

Eh, we want one of each. We’d like a boy first and then a girl, but we’ll be happy however.

Post # 9
3189 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

I think that most girls want that close mother-daughter relationship bond that they either did or didn’t have growing up. It’s more difficult to relate to the mother-son bond when you’ve never been on either end up of the equation. And part of it has to do with gender steretypes of course…we picture boys as being all about sports and racecars and superheroes, and girls as being into princess stuff and ballet and tea parties. So then preference tends to be based on which of those groupings sounds better to you. Of course, you could have a little girl who ends up being a total tomboy, but that isn’t how we tend to think when the child in question is still pretty abstract, as far as personality goes anyways.

My problem is more with the fact that the world seems to imply you should prefer one gender over the other – I cannot count how many times I’ve been asked whether I want my baby to be a boy or a girl. Now that I know I’m having a boy, people ask me if that’s what I wanted or if I was disappointed. It’s seriously annoying!

Post # 10
5317 posts
Bee Keeper

@Sea_bass:  It’s legal in the US. I added an article to my earlier post that may interest you.

Post # 11
5259 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: July 2010

I thought is was common, a stereotype- that girls want girls (and boys want boys).  I didn’t feel this way.  Also, a girl can carry on a husband’s name- just saying.  I was the last of my family (the youngest girl) and I carried on my name. 

Post # 12
420 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

I have noticed this too and find it interesting as well.  I’m guilty of it myself… I want a girl first but will be thrilled with a healthy baby no matter what.  I think I’m modeling my own family, I’m the older sister and my brother is younger.  I am female and am less afraid of a baby girl to ease me into things AND I think little girl clothes are cuter (this is obviously a very superficial reason).  I’m guessing a lot of the baby girl bias in my social circle stems from the pregnant party being female and we’re mostly older sisters.  I can’t wait to find out either way, I just want to know and stop calling the baby it! 

Post # 13
2925 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: January 2014

It is interesting – especially since I definitely want a boy more than a girl! Though I’d prefer one of each, but if that couldn’t happen, then I’d rather have just a boy than just a girl.

I suppose for me it stems from the fact that I’ve never recovered from some of the things my own mother said/did when I was growing up, and even many of the things she said/did as an adult. I hate the thought that my own daughter could think and feel the same way I often have towards my mother. My mother has hurt me more than any other person ever has, and it would be devastating if my own daughter said that about me.

So I think relationship plays a lot into it. Great friendship with your mom? Then you want that with a daughter. Even if you did have contentions, then I think some women go the other way and say “I’ll be a better mom and have that mother-daughter bond I always wanted.” I just happened to go the opposite.

And like a PP said, we don’t know what the mother-son bond is like because we’ve never experienced it.

Post # 14
5317 posts
Bee Keeper

@bowsergirl:  I’m definitely in the “I’ll be a wayyyy better mother than she was” camp, but I did have another female relative who was a much better mother figure than her, as well.

Post # 15
2523 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

@Sea_bass:  A daughter can still carry on the family name. More and more women are choosing not to change their last name when married, so even if you have only girls, perhaps one of them can carry the name.

Post # 16
2292 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: March 2014

Hmm it is interesting. I think perhaps a large percentage of Bee’s are girly girls so they can relate to having a baby girl better than a baby boy. 

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