(Closed) Surprised about Bees gender desires

posted 7 years ago in Pregnancy
Post # 77
1202 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 2012

@Potatoes:  where did I say “get over it”????  Did you read my response to your first rude one to me? I think you need to look in the mirror when you accuse others of being insensitive. I shared how I coped with my OWN struggles!



Post # 78
914 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

I don’t care what we have first when we do start having children, but I know I want at least one of each. Fiance wants a girl first. Go figure?

Post # 79
817 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

I will have a little bit of gender dissappointment if we end up having a boy only because we have a son already and I really want one of each gender. This will be our last child and last chance for a girl, so that is why I would be a lil bit dissappointed. Just for a lil bit though.

Post # 80
686 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

@CindyRelly:   I’m sorry you feel my reply was “rude”, but I was being blunt because I’m tired of the argument that people shouldn’t be allowed to be disappointed just because other people struggle. The implication of your reply was “Other people struggle to have children so if you don’t have the gender you want, get over it – at least you can have children.” I really don’t see why you are being so defensive when I merely pointed out how your post came across, yet you are turning around and insulting me?

Post # 81
881 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

@cjfs:  I was going to post here about how family dynamics can sometimes affect someone’s preference for a boy or a girl but after reading all the comments first I see you had a similar situation.  Mine is in no way the same as yours, so I don’t claim to fully understand and I am really sorry you are having to deal with comments from extended family that they aren’t as happy with you having a boy 🙁  That is a lot of pressure for someone especially considering we can’t control it.  In my family, my Darling Husband is one of 3 brothers. His parents wanted a girl, and were told the 3rd (and last) son was a girl during their ultrasound, but when he was born they found out that wasn’t correct and had to exchange all of their girl-related items for boy equivalents.  So far, they only have grandsons as well and I know how excited they would be to have a granddaughter.  Part of me feels like since they already have grandkids, ours would be more “been there, done that” and that they wouldn’t be as excited for ours when the time comes unless we could give them the first granddaughter.  I know it’s silly as I’m sure they would be excited regardless but I feel a lot of pressure to have a girl first for that reason.  I would love to have at least one boy and one girl eventually so I would be thrilled with either gender, but given the choice for the first I would hope girl.  I’m not even pregnant yet though so we will see how it all plays out!  Obviously having a healthy baby is priority number one but I completely understand how you feel.  Just wanted to let you know you aren’t alone. 

Post # 82
9134 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 2013 - St. Augustine Beach, FL

@Sea_bass:  I think it’s mostly because of two things: 1) girls are generally thought of as being “easier” to raise than boys; and 2) it seems to me that mom’s tend to prefer girls (not in all cases obviously but in many) because they can relate or have shared experiences.

I prefer a boy because I grew up with all sisters and the thought of more pink crap scares me.  However, I wouldn’t be disappointed with a girl because of the things mentioned above.

Post # 83
220 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

I am ttc, my husband and I have three children between us.. I have two sons and he a daughter.  This will be our last child and he would like a boy to carry on his family name, as he is the last male with his family name.  

Before I had my sons I had always dreamed of having a girl, but after having my sons I would LOVE to have another boy!  Although I would LOVE to have another little girl running around our house. 

I have learned from having a (step)daughter, that girls are MUCH more expensive! lol 

While ttc I did read up on how to give the boy swimmers a better chance 😉  

waiting for Gods blessings, be it a girl or a boy. 


Post # 84
533 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

@MrsEagleEye:  Thanks sweetie! Yours was one of the few real supportive posts and you’re a darling for being so thoughtful and considerate. Ive been reading books on gender disappointment and slowly im recovering from the loss of the dream and slowly dealing with my extended family’s difficult comments. Even “friends” have also given me grief for not having a girl- people can be so insensitive. All the best to you! 

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