(Closed) Surprised yet again!! and How would you feel if…

posted 7 years ago in Home
Post # 3
444 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2013 - rolling hills of southern italy

Give it time. It is really great that you have this opportunity. .. And you seem to know it In your head. Let your heart catch up. 

Post # 4
5540 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: December 2011

I think do it, the savings would allow you to do some work on it to make it yours. I always vote house over apartment!

Post # 5
2555 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

I would honestly go this route, especially if you two are trying to save for a house.  I would also think a house would offer more space and comfort than an apartment.  Also, suppose you two fall on money troubles, I would think your father would be a lot more willing to work with you than a rental company.


Aside from it being a deceased relative’s prior home, I think this opportunity is a steal.  My parents recently inherited a home and tried to get my Fiance and I to rent their house. I was temped because it would have saved us $150 a month that could’ve gone into savings for when we’re ready to be a home, but the house we currently rent is bigger and we’d be downgrading, so no go for my Fiance.  You’ve just gotta outweigh the pros and cons for you and your Fiance.

Post # 6
1609 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

I can understand your concerns, but this seems like a really good opportunity.  Since you dad owns it, would you be able to paint and stuff?  Once you put your own personal touches on it, and have your own stuff in it, I bet it will start to feel more like your home.  Even if it made me uncomfortable, I would probably go for it though just because of the money factor.

Post # 7
2658 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

Any home you move into was previously owned by someone else anyway, (unless newly built), and it takes a while to get rid of the feeling that you’re living in someone else’s house. When you get your things in there, your pictures, and your Fiance and you make some cosmetic changes, it will really feel like your home. 🙂

Post # 8
2684 posts
Sugar bee

I see where you’re coming from.  I kind of feel this way with every place I move to – for a while it feels like someone else’s place until I start unpacking and adding my own touches.  Your family is giving you a great opportunity, and I think they know that.  They want you guys to get a good start and have the ability to help you by giving you a good rental deal.  I’d try some easy DIY projects like repainting the walls and doing some gardening.  Even little things like this can help you feel like it’s you and your FI’s home.  Plus I’m sure those projects would help the rental/resale value when the time comes for you to buy your first house.

Post # 11
10635 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: January 2011

If I could rent a house for the same price I’m renting an apartment I definitely would!  I think I would also take some comfort in living in a relatives house for a while after they passed away, but I wouldn’t want to own it.

Post # 12
10361 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2010

I’m not a fan of mixing family and business, which this definitely is. What if he tries to micromanage you hanging pictures, how you live in the house, comments on whether he thinks you are clean enough, etc etc? I think there’s just too much room for this to become a big issue. Not worth it for $100/mo, IMO.

Post # 13
1406 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2013

do it!! i was in a similar situation with my exh. we moved into his late aunts house after she died and paid nearly nothing but it was exciting for me because we got to paint the walls and really make it ours. Will you be allowed to paint and fix things? that always makes it more fun! 

Post # 14
3415 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2014 - Lodge

After my Grandma died I was given the opportunity to move into her house.  I was sad because it was her house and I had so many good memories there.  But at the same time if I wasn’t going to rent it then my family would have sold it.  The house is where my dad grew up in as well as his brothers.  It’s where I had my first memories.  It’s a beautiful home and HUGE.  So I rented it out for a few years.  Then when my aunt and uncle moved back from Chicago, around the time I met my now Fiance.  I agreed to have them buy the shares from my dad and other uncles and use the house and I moved in with my Fiance.

It worked out for the best because the house stayed in our family which is what we all wanted, I could live fairly cheap while raising my 3 kids alone and going to school full time.  At first it was kind of sad, but at the same time I also felt really close to my Grandparents for living in their house that they raised their children in and that us grandchildren got to play in.  Eventually it felt like my house and now if feels like my aunt and uncles house.

Post # 15
210 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

This is a bit of a different situation, as we bought a house from my aunt and uncle who are still living. I can understand how you’d feel weird though – for the first few months, I kept calling it ‘their’ house, and only now, after we’ve been here for a year, am I ready to paint it and truly make it ‘ours.’

On the flip side, I have a lot of fond memories in this house, and it makes it really special for me in that way. I understand it would be tougher if my aunt and uncle were deceased, but it may also bring you comfort after you get past the initial phase of feeling like an intruder, so to speak.

Whatever you end up doing, I wish you and your Fiance the best of luck!

Post # 16
1572 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

I say think it over. When I’m not sure, I list the pros and cons that immediately come to mind (on the same sheet of paper), then put it aside for a few days. I list everyting even if it’s silly or minor. That said, my partner and I live in one of his deceased relatives’ house (his grandparents). He was going through his divorce when his grandfather died and hated living at the house he purchased with his ex. No one lived here for probably a year while he thought about it (worth noting that the house is in a trust for him and his two brothers – one was living out of state at the time and the other owns another house and is happy there). He’s been here for six or so years now, and I’ve been here for about two total. It has taken some getting used to for me to feel like its “ours” and we still have some plans. He re-painted a lot of the intererior and got rid of some of the furniture. For us, it is a great idea – we live here rent free (we pay for all of the upkeep, including some pricey work on the chimney, ugh and also pay for the taxes, any bills, etc) and rent out his old house. Woudl you be able to re-paint or changet things in the house or would it need to be kept as is?

The topic ‘Surprised yet again!! and How would you feel if…’ is closed to new replies.

Find Amazing Vendors