(Closed) Surprising outcome of argument… need help please!

posted 4 years ago in Waiting
Post # 2
560 posts
Busy bee

What I have found is men, or should I say my Boyfriend or Best Friend, need very specific guidance. I would say find your ring get a quote if you want is special made or get the detail from the shop where it is stocked, print out the detail with the contact persons’ name and number. Then give it to him, and say when you are ready. I have to say there are men that take initiative out there; there are a few lovely stories on the Bee proving it.

Post # 3
1847 posts
Buzzing bee

Since he has asked for your ring size perhaps you could mention that you don’t know and would have to go check. Ask him if he would like to come with you to see what size you are and what size setting you like. From there you can point out styles that you like. 

Post # 5
560 posts
Busy bee

You are welcome. Get a few pictures of what you like, then meet with a manufacturing jeweler and have a ring specially designed and made in the metal you like with the gem stone you want and in a style that suits you. Jewelers are like fashion designers they have the ability to design according to a specific person’s personality and taste. It’ll be one of a kind!

Post # 6
136 posts
Blushing bee

Send him in with photos/lists of things you like? Or send him with one of your close friends/family members?? If you’re not too specific on a ring and want to be surprised I’d trust him instead of going with him.

Post # 7
12249 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2015

wanttobee:  I would keep this really simple if he’s so indecisive. Only send him three options that you like, so first you need to do your homework and narrow it down first so you don’t overwhelm him, esp if you’re wanting this process to move along faster. 

Aside, I was amazed at the first PP for suggestion that you print out the contact name after designing it. I never would have thought of that, and it may be necessary but on the other hand,  it’s important IMO to give a person the room to take initiative on their own for many reasons. not the least of which is they should be willing and able to put effort into this part of it. It shows a desire to please and participate, in my mind. Of course, each relationship is different.

I think you should make the info easy to find, but not hand it to him on a silver platter:-) 


  • This reply was modified 4 years ago by  BalletParker. Reason: Because bend gate is the least of my apple issues
Post # 8
1847 posts
Buzzing bee

If he has recommended going shopping together then take him up on the offer. When my Fiance and I went shopping I spent 2 full days (spread over 2 weekends) before I settled on a design I love. If you find a few you like, narrow it down to maybe three options and get the jewellers to write down all the details so he can go back later and pick out of the three. And if you can’t find any you love then go with him to a manufacturer and go from there. I don’t see a need to send him pictures of rings you like if he has offered that you go shopping together. 

Post # 9
2698 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: January 2015

Beedoglady:  Me ๐Ÿ™‚  I just mentioned I liked yellow gold one day. He did the rest, and I LOVE it.

wanttobee:  If I were you I would pick out a couple that you like, or point them out to him when you get your ring sized. Do you know the type of metal you like? Do you want a diamond or coloured stone? Are you vintage or modern? Those can all be big deciding factors for him and help guide him without it taking too long.

Good luck!

Post # 10
322 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

wanttobee:  In addition to the above, all great advice, you may want to feel out the budget as well — or even ask your guy for a range if you guys are very open like that.

I have just seen girls design a dream ring or pick a bunch of rings they like only to realize the designer is way out of the guys budget or not realize that they only like that ring/design/etc with a stone size or material the man cannot afford. Sometimes making sure you’re both in the same ballpark and that you are both aware of pricing can save a guy from heartache trying to match a ring he cannot do so within his budget, or a girl from receiving a ring she ends up disliking bc it looks much different in the “affordable version.”

Also another reason that going together to look, not necessarily buy, can be a great idea. 

Congrats!!! <3

Post # 12
1218 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

wanttobee:  I think it depends – do you really want to be surprised by the ring? If so I would send him pics of a few that you like and let him know what is most important to you in terms of style, colour etc.

Personally I didn’t want my ring to be a surprise, I wanted to choose it myself so Darling Husband and I looked at websites and in shops together until I found the perfect one.

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