(Closed) Surrogate mother refuses to abort fetus with severe birth defects..thoughts?

posted 5 years ago in Legal
Post # 3
Hostess
8577 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2014

I don’t think so.. espicially if there’s a written contract.

The parents of the child are basically renting the surrogates uterus.. and considering large birth defects is a HUGE responsibility, I can totally understand why they would want to abort.

But that’s just my opinion.

I am also, in NO WAY for abortion, however I think there are certain cases where abortion certainly is the best for everyone involved.

Post # 4
Member
1480 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2015

If the fetus is not the surrogates biological child (i.e. using their egg with the couples sperm) and/or the parents have a written contract; I don’t think the surrogate has any say over whether it should be aborted or not. As long as it doesn’t harm the surrogate in any way, the parents get to decide what to do with their own child. Period.

Post # 5
Member
691 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

It’s her body, without which the child would not exist in the first place. Such is the risk when you hire a surrogate to carry your baby. It doesn’t give anyone the right to pay her to abort, regardless of how she went about it. Not sure why people are so up in arms about this story, if we want people to be able to “choose”, well, this is choice in action.

Post # 6
Member
5269 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: December 2016

Makes me wonder would they have wanted the abortion had the “egg donor” been carrying the child?? Sad and at 5 months? 

 

Post # 7
Member
668 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

Moral issues aside, it’s almost like taking your car into the shop and finding out it’s been totaled. The shop owner decides HE now has rights to YOUR car and wants to keep it. That’s ridiculous. I know a baby is not a car or piece of property and is HUGELY different, but the principal is the same. Crazy.

Post # 8
Member
10574 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: January 2011

I think it would have been a much bigger issue if it were the opposite way.  The surrogate wanted to abort and the parents to be did not.

I don’t think this is a problem, as long as the parents to be are not stuck with any responsibility.  If the surrogate wants to have the child, I think she should have that choice.

 

It’s probably best if everyone involved had these discussions before any procedures were done!

Post # 9
Member
10574 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: January 2011

@RiverBride13:  Sticking with that analogy, I would go with it differently.

The car is written off and cannot be sold for parts. For it to be disposed of, an environmental fee would have to be paid to the mechanic, but he still has to go through the proper channels to do it.  The owner agrees to pay this fee, but the mechanic says don’t worry about paying that fee as he will keep it and find worth from it in another way.

Post # 10
Member
6355 posts
Bee Keeper

What an unusual situation.

I really don’t know what to say about it because it is so odd. Normally it is the mother’s decision, but who is the mother in this instance? It’s shared. This kind of eventuality (fetus has severe defects, what will be done?) needs to be discussed and agreed upon by all parties before the commitment is made. After that, they are all bound by that agreement.

I’m inclined to think it was the biological parents’ right to terminate. They now have to live with the fact that a biological child of theirs exists in the world with severe defects. It’s a heavy ethical weight on a parent’s shoulders, in their position I’d feel obligated to the child no matter the legal responsibility, and if the child is in pain I’d blame myself. That’s not fair for her to do to them.

Post # 11
Member
6355 posts
Bee Keeper

Oh my freaking goodness and after all that she abandoned the poor baby. I think she is a horrible person (the surrogate). Really horrible.

Post # 12
Member
6015 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: March 2012

Yes she should get a vote.  What if she’s catholic and is against abortion? This is something that should have  been adressed before now.

It ‘s her body right … a WOMENS CHOICE .. how can you be infuriated?  how dare you.

Post # 13
Member
6355 posts
Bee Keeper

@HisIrishPrincess:  I do believe she should have had a right to say she will not abort under any circumstances no matter how badly the baby might suffer…. BEFORE they entered into the agreement.

That she forced this couple to be biological parents to a baby that is suffering, and then abandoned the baby because it is too much work for her, that’s really terrible. That was the final straw to me. If she thought bringing the baby into the world was more important than the baby’s suffering, she should have put it above her own suffering too and done every last thing she could possibly do for the rest of her life to make that baby’s life as good as possible.

Post # 14
Member
6015 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: March 2012

BFD she has cleft pallet?  SO what ..  I have a cousin that has had 15 surgeries to correct hers.. are you sugesting her mother should have termintated .. wait let’s use the proper terms… her mother should have had an abortion? 

SO who determines the baby is “suffering” ? you .. me the parents?

 

Post # 15
Member
6355 posts
Bee Keeper

@HisIrishPrincess:  It is not just a cleft palette 🙁 They expected her to have many physical deformities… including cleft palette, brain cyst and severe heart defects… and when she was born, she was in even worse condition than they origially had anticipated… including that her brain is not divided into two distinct hemispheres, and many of her internal organs are in the wrong places. This baby is going to go through countless surgeries and will probably be in physical pain for as long as she lives, which I assume isn’t going to be that long.

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