Surviving family visits with in laws

posted 3 years ago in Family
Post # 16
Member
5801 posts
Bee Keeper

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warriorgirl :  Why can’t you leave for part of the day? If she’s already rude who cares of you’re rude frankly. Go for a spa day there has to be one nearby. Or insist on going riding. Why can’t thry include you in riding? Even you could be doing a lesson while they’re out and about. 

Post # 17
Member
1199 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2018

Maybe I’m in the minority but I don’t see an issue with not accompanying your husband every time he goes to Arizona. DH and I visit our families without each other sometimes. I also just came back from a vacation with my family without DH (DH hates traveling).

Post # 18
Member
1230 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 1983

Don’t go. It’s a trip about DH seeing his father. It has nothing to do with you. He just abandons you to the awfulness of his mother.

Post # 19
Member
592 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2016

I don’t see any issue with you not going if you don’t want to.

Post # 21
Member
3123 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: November 2017

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warriorgirl :  So you see*your* family all the time,  but visiting *his* family for a day or two *once or twice a year* is a problem for you?!    Yeah no, suck it up and be glad your dh is more generous about your family…..

Post # 22
Member
385 posts
Helper bee

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mrstodd2bee :  Was there a deleted post?  I don’t see anything from warriorgirl saying how much time she gets to spend with her parents at all.

Post # 24
Member
429 posts
Helper bee

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warriorgirl :  

You should be able to tell your husband how you feel. He should be sympathetic even if he doesn’t share your feelings. Why can’t you just be honest with your husband about your concerns? I don’t understand. 

My husband and I both have crazy MILs. That sounds funny doesn’t it?  We stay in hotels when we visit. Our mothers don’t like it but that is their problem. 

 

Post # 25
Member
10355 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2016

I wouldn’t go. If your husband doesn’t bother to spend time with you while you go then there’s no need for you to make yourself miserable. 

Post # 26
Member
676 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: December 2014

You didn’t reply to PPs’ suggesting you to go horse riding. So is this not an option? This sounds a lot more fun. Could you suggest this to your DH? Also, I would try to talk to your DH about how Mother-In-Law makes you feel. You should be able to express your feelings to your own husband. Maybe he’ll try to spend more time with you instead of leaving you alone with his mum.

Post # 27
Member
1578 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: April 2018

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warriorgirl :  If your DH is going to have quality time with just his dad, don’t go.  I don’t see the point in spending money on a hotel room/rental car to just hang out on your own. 

I holiday interstate to see my family without my DH about 50% of the time, no one bats an eye, and my DH and family get along super well.  

Post # 28
Member
13 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: May 2019

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warriorgirl :  Why is that rude to go do something on your own? If you want to get specific about rudeness, it is rude beyond measure to invite someone to your home and not make them feel welcome and entertained. At the bare minimum your guests should be comfortable and at ease. Seems to me the only reason you would invite someone and treat them like crap is to make sure they don’t come back. And you’ve gone back how many times?

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