Surviving the pre-engaged timeframe

posted 5 months ago in Engagement
Post # 2
Member
387 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2019 - York, ME

This is a tough time period to be in! I say to just go crazy and have fun on Pinterest. I’m very much like you and love planning, so that type A in me was satisfied and I wasn’t driving my Fiance crazy!  Our idea for what we wanted in a wedding changed so much over the years, that it was really nice to mull our options over and really spend time thinking about it without the pressure to decide on anything. 

I’m glad he gave you the 6 months! I would check in a month or two beforehand just to make sure he still is planning on it and didn’t “forget”. 

Post # 4
Member
576 posts
Busy bee

I don’t have any really good advice, I’m doing a bad job of a similar scenario. My best suggestion is find one (or more?) of your friends who you can ask if when you start to feel crazy about the whole thing, you can lean on them as a spurce of support and venting.

Also consider counseling? I started counseling during the waiting period because I was concerned I wasn’t handling several stresses in my life the best, and it helped with the waiting stress kind of as a by product. 

Post # 5
Member
143 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: June 2019 - City, State

I was in the same boat. It is really hard because you do not know if it is a good idea planning before getting the ring and it is hard to be patient for this kind of thing. For me we started talking marriage maybe half a year together and since then we had been slowly building our future together and during that time I was like.. are you going to propose, when will it happen, etc. He too is also very nonchalant and not very big on things needing to be done right away. He is the type where if he is given a 5pm deadline for something.. he will turn it in at 4:59pm. We are engaged and getting married next month but he did not propose until when we were together for a little over 2 years. So for me the time frame from when we first discussed it until it happened FELT SO LONG but the time after getting engaged until now flew by so fast it almost felt like it made up for the timeframe of waiting. 

Anyway we did start wedding planning a bit before he officially proposed but it did not get far at all because I decided to wait til he popepd the question. So my advice to you would be have fun with planning but do not actually start planning yet. In other words go on Pinterest and do some window shopping but do not actually buy anything yet. It is good to occupy yourself with some ideas and knowing what you like and want so that come time for when you are engaged you will already know these things. 

Good luck. 

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