(Closed) Suspicious internet history or is my mind playing tricks on me?

posted 3 years ago in Emotional
Post # 2
8995 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: December 2012

I used to browse that site just for the giggles. I wouldn’t think too much into it.<br /><br />ETA: If you just google the word “hot”, hotornot.com is on the first page of results.

Post # 3
5268 posts
Bee Keeper

Anon2014:  Meh, I don’t think this is a big deal. I’d be way more irritated with internet porn TBH. 

I think the bigger issue is your snooping into his internet use. I think he has a right to be pissed about this whole situation, and I don’t blame him for sleeping on the couch. I’d be prepared to do some damage control.

Post # 4
2263 posts
Buzzing bee

What was the ‘some reason’ you had for snooping through his internet history? And how do you know that he generally clears it? Have you looked through it before? That’s probably why he’s upset, and I don’t blame him. 

  • This reply was modified 3 years, 2 months ago by  MrsYokiman.
Post # 5
11 posts

Anon2014:  Oh gosh so I to be honest you shouldnt have looked through his history but its too late now so…..

Can I be honest?  He could have been looking up MUCH WORSE things…..ya know? Like give him a little break….maybe he was being honest when he explained why….the point is that he wasnt looking at anything too bad, however, that doesnt mean I wouldnt be kind of hurt too if I knew my love was doing the same.  Just please forgive him and tell him youre sorry you invaded his privacy. You obviously love this man and thought highly of him before this incodent.  Please just forgive him and ask him to forgive you for snooping. If you approach him with humility and kindness you may even get an apology out of him. 

This doesnt mean he isnt the man you thought he was! Everyone has moments of weakness and everyone stumbles… maybe he is overworked? Just love him and try to work through it, you guys will be ok. Approach him as a secure confident woman who is in control of her emotions. He will most likely appologize and maybe even offer an explaination.


Good luck girl!


Post # 6
581 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: December 2011

Anon2014:  Going to say that I might actually believe him. If my dh looked at my browser history, he wouldn’t know what to make of it. I often read divorce and ‘other woman’ forums, I don’t comment but I find it interesting to see things from another perspective. So yip my dh might get all worked up and worried about nothing.

I also google random things and see what comes up so I wouldn’t worry too much.

Post # 7
1225 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2015

Anon2014:  I agree with him, you are overthinking it. “Not the guy you thought he was”? That’s extreme.

1) Why do you feel the need to snoop on him? and 2) What’s the problem with him looking at that site? Do you always try to police him like this?

Post # 8
8995 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: December 2012

I’d be pretty fucking pissed if my husband decided to snoop on my computer for no reason. He’d definitely be sleeping at the neighbors, that’s how infuriated I’d be.

Post # 9
8116 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

He is probably upset that the person he trusted snooped on him and then tried to accuse him of something. Can’t blame the guy.

Post # 10
1317 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: A very pretty church.

Lol. I used to go on Hot or Not when I was in high school. I gave everyone under 6 a 10 because the ratings were always so harsh. While I find the general concept of him always deleting his history incredibly weird, Hot or Not is mindless nothing. The real question you should be asking is why was he on there at all? It’s a weird site for bored teenagers and insecure people who have posted their own photos.

Post # 11
711 posts
Busy bee

Hmm… I agree with PPs, what was the reason for snooping? I honestly have never been to hot or not, but sounds kind of funny! Or incredibly cruel… I agree, could have been much, much worse.

Post # 12
956 posts
Busy bee

I wouldn’t be pissed off if my dh looked through my browser history. Everyone has their moments of insecurities and I have nothing to hide. Trust your instincts, they’re usually right. If in an isolated incident DH told me the same story I’d believe him, but that’s because I know him like the back of my hand. Only you know what your DH is like.

Post # 13
231 posts
Helper bee

Sounds like he’s just upset for being checked up on so to speak.

If my SO loked at porn I wouldnt care we talk about stuff like that openly, I know he’ll look at porn when we spend a couple of weeks apart. This doenst even sound like a porn sight, one of those “Time killer” websites more than anything. 

I’d ask him why he was angry/upset and then expain to him why you checked his history and why your upset and go from there, I guess comunication is the key here.

Hpoe it works out for you x

Post # 14
8151 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2013

the boys i work with look at it occassionaly (and 3 of the 4) are married.  it really isn’t a big deal.

but he is overreacting.  why was he so defensive?

Post # 15
7618 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: March 2014 - A castle!

ajillity81:  If you looked at a harmless website then got bitched out, you’d probably try to defend yourself too.

OP, it’s not like he has a dating profile up on match.com, eharmony, etc. 50% of the population is female. If you can’t handle him even looking at other women online (not even porn!), then you have serious jealousy issues that should be resolved. I don’t blame him for sleeping on the couch if you were snooping unprovoked then picking fights over something so trivial.

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