I just want to say how incredibly sad this whole thread makes me. It shows how horrible bullying is and that the effects can last a lifetime. I wish kids could see this and understand, maybe it would lessen the pain for even one child/future adult.
I was so lucky, I was never bullied in school. I went to the same school from kindergarten through graduation, I still have many of the same friends because even though we are all mid-40s and scattered all over the world, we had a small, tight-knit school. Sure, there were “super popular” girls, but I was just in the middle, friends with them, friends with all the groups.
Something that happened in sixth grade cemented my feelings on trying to include everyone. I never bullied any kids, was pretty soft-hearted but if someone was being picked on wouldn’t always stand up for them. Until that one day in sixth grade art class. Some kids were picking on a boy named Mike—saying “oh your hair is so greasy you could solve the world’s oil crisis by squeezing it out of your hair” (this was during the OPEC stuff around 1980) etc. He started crying. I remember that moment like it was yesterday, and from then on when anyone was teasing someone I did my best to put a stop to it. I realized that it’s not enough to not participate, someone needs to step up and stop it when it happens.
When I became a mom (my kids are 22 and 23 now) I always tried to make my kids be the ones that stood up to bullies. My daughter was bullied pretty bad in grades 6-10 but then found herself and is now a much stronger person for it—but I wish I could have saved her from that. It breaks my heart to think of all the people out there that were/are hurt by this. I do have one childhood friend who is so bitter, she wasn’t bullied but she is an adult bully. I see her passive-aggressive posts and cringe, one day I’ll have enough I’m sure and delete her but I would rather not, I do like her one-to-one. She had an eating disorder as an adult and now loves to put down other women for being “a fat ass” when she feels threatened by them, and by posting it on FB. Very sad all around.
Anyway, to all the ladies here that have been hurt by bullies, my heart goes out to you. Please try to stop the cycle.
One thing I do want to add, if you judge yourself in relation to others, and how you are doing “better or worse” than they are, you will never find true happiness. It has to come from within and when you stop measuring yourself against others, you will find that happiness comes a lot easier. Screw what others are doing, live YOUR life!