(Closed) Sweet Simple Gay Wedding!…please?

posted 8 years ago in LGBTQ
Post # 3
7975 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

Welcome to Weddingbee!

There are brides of every budget here, hopefully you’ll find (and share) lots of inspiration. πŸ™‚

Have you seen http://2000dollarwedding.com? Even if your budget is miniscule, there is a beauty in a wedding simply for the sake of getting married – and I think 2000dollar wedding really captures a lot of that. πŸ™‚

Post # 4
144 posts
Blushing bee

Hi ladies! Welcome to the hive.

There’s a lot of saving tips in the DIY section of this site. There’s many things you can do to keep the wedding cheap, I’ll try and list some things you may be interested in. The other Bees will have wonderful suggestions I’m sure. 

-Keep the guest list low

-Have a friend: cater, be wedding photographer…

-Invitation kits from Michael’s or some other craft store, maybe purchase them from a site like http://www.123print.com

-Use sites like Etsy to find neat tid bits for the wedding

-Get flowers from a friend/family members garden or go to the public market and get your flowers (so long as you aren’t specific on the type)

There’s also second hand dress websites and the classified section on this site has some good buys too. 


Sorry that’s all I’ve got so far, I’m just getting in the heat of wedding planning. 

Best of luck to you both!

Post # 5
1465 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

Welcome! There are brides of all budgets here so don’t feel that is a hindrance. Decide what elements are most important to you and skip the rest. Don’t buy anything with ‘wedding’ on the label since it is always more expensive than the same item found elsewhere. Cake and coffee is elegant and inexpensive. You could have a ceremony on the beach (look into the costs with the local parks dept to see if you need a permit even though the beaches are public) and a reception nearby or at a favorite restaurant. Ethnic restaurants are typically cheaper all around (even if you have them cater to a separate location).

Instead of champagne that most people don’t drink, let your guests toast with whatever they are already drinking, or skip it entirely if it doesn’t matter to you.

Instead of a wedding cake which is expensive, get a regular dessert you all like.

A bridesmaid dress or party dress is cheaper than a wedding dress and most modern styles are just as elaborate.

Figure out what your abilities and limitations are. DIY can be cheaper if you are crafty and good at shopping for deals. But if you aren’t crafty and are an impulse shopper, then DIY is probably not the best route and may be more expensive in the end. It’s not always cheaper to DIY, contrary to popular belief and your time and stress level are equal to money as well.

Post # 6
3316 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2009

The biggest factor in wedding costs is how many guests you have.  If you have a wedding with just a very few close friends, it’s not hard to have it for under $2,000.  If you invite everyone you ever knew back to elementary school, it’s harder.

The second factor you need to look at is the type of wedding.  A morning ceremony and a brunch wedding will be a lot less expensive than an evening with a full plated dinner and dancing.

Of course, you can also save by making sure Prop 8 stays overturned and having your wedding locally, but I do realize this is not exactly in your power.  πŸ˜‰

The biggest thing is not to start out with a stereotypical view of what a wedding “must be.”  The two of you on the beach in normal clothes, with an ordained friend performing the ceremony (in states which allow this), is still a wedding.  Some sort of food and drink should be provided to your guests after the ceremony, but this can be as simple as cake and punch at your home.  Everything else is optional, and can be eliminated depending on your budget.

Oh, and welcome to the board!  There is an LGBTQ board here, but as you have already seen, same-sex couples are also welcome everywhere on the board.  My wife and I were married late last year, and never encountered any hostility here.

Post # 7
206 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2010 - Heritage Square Museum

Hooray and welcome! So glad to have more (and hopefully more and more) gay couples around the Bee! πŸ™‚

I think there is definitely a way to have a wedding you are happy with on ANY budget!

So if your dream wedding IS leaning towards the more traditional- you have to save up more/longer, but you still get the wedding you want.

And if you’re open to a less traditional but still AWESOME wedding, well then you’re really in business!

Lately I’ve been dreaming of a champagne and cupcakes wedding. Seriously. That’s it. A meaningful (beachy) ceremony (maybe a bring your own beach blanket/pillow or get cheapie/pretty ones from ikea for the ceremony) followed by champagne and cupcakes! Yummers.

Or a simple dinner at a local restaurant with your nearest/dearest?


I have tons more ideas too, but I’m not gonna ramble- feel free to PM me if you want more help!

And I do want to offer some encouragement/support about the family situation- that’s such a rough, and sad one…F Stripes family is totally unsupportive and awful and it’s just so damn hard. Let yourself grieve a little, but don’t lose faith that people change and come around. It just might take some time. And if you don’t think they will (and who knows, some never do) then I think it’s really important to choose and create the family you want to be surrounded by. πŸ™‚

Best of luck with the wedding planning/emotional stuff too. Super exciting to have you both here! πŸ™‚

Post # 8
160 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

Hi girls, and welcome to Weddingbee!  Your son is absolutely adorable!  You must be very proud. 

My wife-to-be and I are also into a natural setting (you mentioned that you like the beach) and found our ceremony site for…get this…TEN DOLLARS.  We rented a gorgeous section of our local state park, and since we are not legally able to marry in our state, I refused (nicely) to pay the state their “wedding rate” to rent the space.  The rangers agreed with me and issued a special-use permit that saved us hundreds.  Activism and wedding dollar-stretching!  Since you live in San Diego, I’m sure you must have some really beautiful parks (maybe with beaches?) in your area. 

Have a blast planning, and congrats to you!

Post # 9
3866 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: April 2012

Congrats!!!!  You two have a sweetie of a son.  He’ll look great as your ring bearer!

Do as much DIY as possible to cut prices.  Check out yard sales/garage sales, thrift stores, Goodwill, places like that to get stuff at great bargins. 

You can DIY your own invites/RSVP cards/etc for a fraction of the cost of buying pre-made.  I designed my own and will be printing them out at Zazzle which will save me $214 for 135 invites.  If you aren’t artsy, check out VistaPrint (a lot of other Bees have gotten their stuff there for good prices) and they also offer a wedding sampler for free.  It’s basic premade stuff with other people’s names, etc, but it’ll give you an idea of what they offer and their quality. 

Also, you can make your own favors or, since you’re hoping to do it at a beach, I know Oriental Trading has those little message-in-a-bottle kits that you could make up as favors for your wedding.  IF you want.  Another idea you could do is get their glass bottle assortment, put sand in it (maybe even from the beach!) with some small shells, etc and give them out.

Also, if you can do a beach, think about having a picnic, which would probably cut costs.  (you can also DIY coasters using tiles…)

There’s a lot of options and, with a beach, you’ve got LOTS of opportunities for having a fun time with a budget! 

congrats and have fun planning your wedding!!!! 

Post # 10
58 posts
Worker bee

Hooray for another gay couple on the ‘Bee πŸ™‚ So far I have found the best resource to be this website (so many creative women) or Offbeat Bride.

Good luck!

Post # 11
1805 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: March 2011

Just wanted to say hi and welcome!  I will post more later but my number one bargain resource lately is EBAY!  Got my dress for $76 and I’ve seen awesome ones for much less!  Other stuff too. πŸ™‚  And I agree with others; I’d totally go for a beach wedding!

Post # 12
2532 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

I dont have much advice but I just wanted to say welcome and your son is adorable!!! Also, I have seen SO many great things around the bee about weddings on a budget that I am sure will help you! Use etsy a lot! Also – here is a GREAT blog about a couple who planned their entire wedding themselves and it was fairly inexpensive as well!

Here it is – http://www.younghouselove.com/wedding-album/

Post # 13
3 posts

Congratulations on your upcoming wedding. I had a lesbian wedding at my home 36 years ago in Los Angeles.  It was lovely and small and just what my friends wanted.  It is too bad that your parents are going to miss out on being a part of your wedding and life, especially since it would mean missing out on seeing their grandchild in such an important (and darling) role. I would suggest that you take your son for a fitting in a suit and photograph it and send it to your parents with a note saying something like “We are planning our wedding and it will be a lovely, loving event. Your grandson will be our ring bearer and we would love to have you with us.”   Then, include them in your save the date.

I know this wasn’t the reply that you were looking for. You want ideas for an affordable event. I think the best investment you could make would be to try one or two more times to include your families, not just for yourselves, you have learned to live without them and maybe that is a blessing. But grandchildren are so precious. Obviously, you want the best for your son and he would be a very happy young man to have grandparents tell him how precious he is.

Have fun, keep it simple. My wedding was champagne punch and wedding cake and lots of music and love. You can ask a couple of friends to do your flowers by going to a flower mart and buying big bunches, they don’t have to be arranged. We paid a fortune for bunches of roses and of calla lilies tied together with a wire and then the wire was covered with one strip of wide ribbon. These were placed in cheap, clean glass containers (also from the flower mart). 8 callas tied similarly make a beautiful bouquet (or two, one for both brides!)  Enjoy! May your marriage be forever.


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