Post # 1
A little backstory: My stepmom and I have had, at best, a rocky relationship. I was older when my parents divorced, and don’t have a relationship with my bio mom either (abusive, manipulative…better off without it, to be honest). I had some issues while I was growing up, and my stepmom has been through a lot with her own kids and her own stuff in the past few years, and we don’t always see eye-to-eye. When I got engaged, I went through a lot of feeling sad about not having a mother figure with whom I could share this time in my life. FI suggested that this might be a relationship-building opportunity with my stepmother, so while I was a bit apprehensive, I asked her to come dress shopping with me today.
It couldn’t have gone better. She is REALLY excited about the wedding, and jumped at the chance to be “the mother of the bride”. We had a blast trying on dresses with my bridesmaids and combing the racks for ideas in terms of style and color. I unexpectedly said yes to my dress (!) and we had a wonderful lunch together with 2 of my bridesmaids and my stepcousin. While she definitely had a lot of opinions, I really felt like she listened. It was amazing and it felt so nice to have that time with her.
FI and I are working at getting our finances in order and have set a pretty tight budget for the wedding, as we also have the goal of buying a house in the next few years. Knowing that money is tight, I told the dress attendant that I wanted to find a dress that was well below my budget, and I was planning to forego a lot of the traditional stuff (veil, new jewelry, gown preservation, etc.). My dad and stepmom had already made it clear that they were not paying for the wedding, but she shocked me by buying my dress and my accessories for me. I thanked her profusely and sat in my car and cried out of happiness afterward. It was a huge financial relief (that part of the budget can now go toward bills and home savings) and I was able to get a dress I LOVED rather than the one I kind of felt I was settling for because of my financial situation. Moreso, I feel like the time I spent with my stepmom today has brought us closer. Even if she hadn’t been so generous, we had a truly wonderful, relaxing time together for the first time in as long as I can remember.
What awesome surprises are you encountering in your planning process? I was bursting to share how much gratitude I have right now, and would love to share in yours!
Post # 2
- Wedding: May 2015 - Antique Rose Emporium
That is really so great, heartwarming to read and I am so happy for you! You may not NEED a mother figure, but it is so nice to have someone step up for you. I hope you and her can continue to grow closer 🙂
surprises in my planning…I had a sudden, unexpected venue change (like, as in, went from planning to have our wedding in one part of the country to it changing to a different part of the U.S. entirely) and was disappointed that I had already asked my bridesmaids Under the impression that I was getting married close to where they all live..but they are all on board to make the trip to still be part of my day. I couldn’t ask for better sisters and friends. So nice to feel equally important to the people that are important to me.
also, I wasnt even going to register since most of my family and friends live far away and aI didn’t think I would have a shower, but my dear coworkers planned a bridal shower as a complete surprise and many family members have asked about a registry. We hate asking for anything, but we are SO grateful for everyone being so amazingly willing to help us out. We do badly need things for the house.
Post # 3
I don’t really have a surprise to share yet, but I wanted to say that’s SO sweet! Major props to your FI for noticing the opportunity to bond with stepmom, props to you for actually reaching out to her, and props to her for being a support network for you!! And what a generous gift from her and your father! I’m so glad everything worked out, I hope things continue to go well between you two! Thanks for sharing this happy story 🙂
Post # 4
That is SO wonderful. My stepson and I are really close and I hope it’s always that way. Successful relationships between a parental figure and child by marriage warms my heart 🙂 Congratulations on finding your dress!
Post # 5
That’s such a wonderful surprise, to find that your stepmom is excited, and that it is going positively. We are still very early in the planning process, but the one spectacular surprise so far:
We’re getting married in my home state, VA. His family is in Iowa. We truly did not think anyone other than his parents and sister would be willing/able to travel for it. Turns out….almost his ENTIRE family is planning to come, with intentions of making it a huge vacation. I almost cried when I got a group email forwarded to me with all his aunts, uncles, and cousins saying how excited they were to be making the trip for us. 🙂
Post # 6
- Wedding: February 2015 - Chapel on Base
Sounds like a beautiful day and the beginning of a wonderful future together. Bonus… nice dress to go with the memories.