(Closed) Sweetheart table? No table? Very uneven bridal party – what to do?

posted 8 years ago in Reception
Post # 3
Member
610 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2009

I think it depends on your personality. I have seen couples happy at their sweetheart table but I prefered to sit with people. It’s not weird no matter what you do. No weddings should be/are alike anyway.

I and my H just sat at a table with parents/close relatives that was the least crowded. But we spent a lot of time making rounds and only going back to “our” table once in a while to eat some food. I figured that if there was a table that had plenty of room to accommodate us, we wanted to make that table look less empty and to avoid a sweetheart table taking up space and requiring more table decorations.

Post # 4
Member
14186 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2009

why don’t you set aside “spots” at your parents table and sit with them, then transition around? Honestly we barely sat at our table. We scarfed half our meal down, then went and talked to so many people. I think it’d be nice to have a few moments just to the two of you though.

Post # 5
Member
3564 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

From what I’ve heard, @ejs’ experience is pretty typical–the bride and groom don’t really spend much time sitting down at any of the tables. They’re up, mingling, dancing, saying hello to people. So I don’t think it’s a big deal to have to guys at a sweetheart table, since you probably won’t be sitting there that much during the reception.

Post # 6
Member
1084 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2009

We did ours a bit different.  A lot of our brothers and sisters were in our wedding party and close friends, so instead of sit with people we saw regularly, we mixed it up.

Some of our table was wedding party but a lot of it was out of town people (like coming from another country and half way across the country), people we really don’t see that often.  We talked to the wedding party before hand and said we didn’t have a big enough table for the wedding party and their dates and everyone prefered being able to sit with their dates than sit at a “wedding party” table with not all dates being able to fit. 

No one was offended, or didn’t express it to me, and it allowed us to eat dinner since we were already sort of ‘making the rounds’ just by talking to people at the table.

Post # 7
Member
1580 posts
Bumble bee

We are doing a sweetheart table. It’s not like you’re going to be sitting by yourselves at a table for an hour.  I’m thinking as soon as we’re done eating we will walk around to each table to greet and talk to the guests.

About the linens- at my venue we can order a special linen in the same color as all the other tables for the sweetheart table. I’m assuming you would be able to as well.

Post # 8
Member
4385 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

I’m thinking about doing what you were suggesting. I am close with my parents, and my sister and FI’s sister are both in the wedding party. I’m planning on having our parents, and our sisters (plus dates) at our table, and the rest of the wedding party at tables with their spouses/dates.

Post # 9
Member
1001 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2010

We are not doing a head table for two reasons:

1. I don’t want to feel like I’m lording over my guests

2. If you’re in a line at a long table, you can’t all talk

Our venue has been shall we say, less than accommodating on this matter.  They keep giving me grief about it.  What we’re doing is having TWO round head tables.  One will have me and Fiance, our best man and Maid/Matron of Honor (both single), FI’s brother and girlfriend, a single bridesmaid, and a single groomsman.  Table two will have the remaining two groomsmen and bridesmaids and their spouses.  It not only solves the problem of not wanting a long table, it eliminates awkward spouses!  I always hated when Fiance was a groomsman and I was stuck at a table with couples I barely knew.

This:

Fiance and I always have so much fun at weddings when we sit with a bunch of people.  I don’t want a head table, but what if we were to sit at an actual table with say his 3 brothers (and the wives of the 2 married ones) and my brother.  The tables seat 12, but with my ballgown, 8 would probably work too.  Would that be weird?

Sounds perfect.

Post # 10
Member
1288 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2010 - Indiana Memorial Union

We’re just sitting with our parents and immediate family. Our bridal party will be mixed in with who they know at the wedding. I was a bridesmaid once and I HATED sitting at a head table, so I really don’t want to revisit that!

Post # 12
Member
256 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2009

We had seats at a table with our parents that was just among the other tables.  We sat there when we first came in for about 10 minutes and ate some salad, then walked around and greeted each table.  Then we sat back down in our seats during the toasts which lasted 20 minutes or so, and then we were up the rest of the night either dancing, chatting, or sitting and resting while visiting with someone else at another table.  I would think through your plan for your reception before making a decision.  As an attendant, I always feel bad sitting at the head table and leaving my husband to sit there with my mom or whoever else there is, and I feel the same way when he is an attendant.  But if it is a close group that would sit together anyway, it will probably work out well.  I have heard from people that had sweetheart tables that they love having those moments alone together. 

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