Post # 1
- Wedding: November 2019 - City, State
I know all the basic pros and cons, but do any of you bees have advice or experience with doing either a sweetheart table or a head table? I sort of like the idea of a sweetheart table better, but FH says he feels it seems a bit rude or overly isolated, which I sort of get. I love the idea of having a sweetheart table with the two “visitors'” chairs so people can come and say hi while you’re eating, and I also like that the bridal party would be able to sit with their dates/not have to talk down a long table.
What’s your preference, or which one did you do? How did it work out?
Post # 2
We did sweetheart. I wanted to be left alone with eating. I wanted my bridal party to be with their dates. It was so much nicer. However, I think we spent 10 minutes at it. We ate then started the party.
Post # 3
Our friends did a head table. The head table was nice because we all got to eat together – however, they had a very small bridal party so SOs were all able to sit together. I am not a fan of separating SOs for the sake of a head table.
We debated both and ended up doing a sweetheart table to keep things simple. That way we could put the various members of our bridal party with the people they would really want to sit with (some were family and some were friends, so we scattered them to the appropriate tables).
Post # 4
We did a sweetheart table and it was definitely the right decision! You don’t get a lot of one-on-one time with your new spouse on your wedding day so getting to have dinner together at a table just for us was wonderful. And it meant we could easily seat our wedding party with thier dates. After we finished eating we did tables visits (which probably took like 10 minutes) to say hi to all our guests.
I wouldn’t do the visitors chair. Let yourselves have that time. You have all night to spend with your guests, you do not need to invite everyone to come chat while you are trying to eat.
Post # 5
Hate head tables. Who wants to be on display while they are eating?
I personally don’t find sweetheart tables rude…everyone is just sitting eating. And as the hosts and/or guests of honor of you aren’t the hosts, you aren’t going to be sitting at the table all night waiting for people to approach you like royalty. You should really only be there during the time you are actually eating and the rest of the time is moving around greeting guests and mingling.
Another option is just sit at a normal table near the front. Have a 6, 8 or 10 top with you, both sets of parents and grandparents or siblings as applicable.
Post # 6
Sweetheart is the way to go. You will finish eating before all the guests anyway because you will be served first. After you are done eating, it’s a good time to walk around and thank each table while they are all still seated.
Head tables make no sense to me. You can only talk to the one person on your right or left and the bridal party will be pissed they can’t sit with their dates.
Post # 7
we did a sweetheart table. our wedding party was seated with their friends so couples could stay together and bc the wedding party isn’t neccessarily friends with each other, so they didn’t need to sit together.
but honestly, besides the speeches, i didn’t sit down the entire night.
Post # 8
I like the sweetheart table because the head table excludes people even more – in my opinion.
We were at a wedding once where my Fiance was in the head table but I as his date was not. That was really uncomfortable for both of us….
Post # 9
I loved our sweetheart* table. We actually got to eat, and our bridal party got to chill with their spouses. It was nice to have a few minutes of US time without having to be “on” for everyone.
Post # 10
I am not married yet but I LOVE sweetheart tables. I love the idea of eating “alone” with your new husband/wife and also allowing the bridal party to sit with their SO’s.
But, I have talked about it before with my boyfriend and he said he would be pissed if he was in a bridal party and didn’t get to sit at the head table. He thinks that it is part of the honor to get to sit up front with the bride and groom. He feels like being a best man or maid of honor isn’t as special if you just go and sit at a normal table.
Post # 11
hickoryhills : sweetheart 100%. i hate being in the bridal party and forced to sit away from my date and/or my friends (even if you include dates at the table, i’d prefer to sit at a table of friends that i can hang out with)
Post # 12
I’m against head tables because they split your nearest and dearest away from their SOs, unless their SOs are also in the party.
We had a sweetheart table, but we never once sat at it. D.H. immediately went to talk to some friends and we ended up plopping down and eating there, several guests came to talk to us, and we mingled.
Post # 13
Sweetheart table all the way. Head tables are way more awkward to me. As the bride and groom you will be served first and finished first so you can actually get to eat your meal and then go mingle while others finish too.
Post # 14
We have a gigantic bridal party. We are going to have just Maid/Matron of Honor and her hubby, and best man and his fiancee at the “head table.”
Post # 15
We did neither. We had two long tables (44 guests total, including us) and we sat with our guests. We did seat next to each other, and we had Best Man and my two kids next to us. Other than that people could sit where they wanted.
I do not want to be on display while eating. If you have to pick one, pick sweatheart as that does not split couples up.