(Closed) Switch the poll around – if you cheated on SO, but it was over, and you were not

posted 7 years ago in Relationships
  • poll: Would you confess?
    No way, are you nuts? : (9 votes)
    24 %
    Not until after the wedding : (1 votes)
    3 %
    Yes, of course : (22 votes)
    58 %
    Other : (6 votes)
    16 %
  • Post # 3
    Member
    7431 posts
    Busy Beekeeper
    • Wedding: October 2009

    Can’t wait to see the responses here!

    We have an agreement that if we felt that we would cheat, we would talk to the other person and try to fix whatever is wrong in our relationship first. But, hypothetically, if I did cheat I would definitely tell him. I know it would most likely end the relationship, but I couldn’t imagine spending my life keeping it from him

    Post # 4
    Member
    2539 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: March 2012

    i would say something because:

    1. i would want for him to tell me…esp since we are getting ready to spend our lives together.

    2. something is off in our relationship that would cause me to cheat…so we need to figure what it is and how we are going to fix it

    3. i would not want to start and eternity with someone carrying such a huge lie and burden on my back!

    sn:i could never, ever, ever cheat on my Fiance….i’ve been there done that in past relationships but im so fulfilled in this one that i dont need step outside for any reason.

    Post # 5
    Member
    7300 posts
    Busy Beekeeper
    • Wedding: September 2012

    @glorfin: I have cheated once in my life and I didn’t tell. The relationship ended anyway. I don’t believe in the “once a cheater always a cheater” line because I know I would never do it again. I’m not the same person I was at 21-23. I was naive about the world, selfish, and probably would have screwed over my own mother to get ahead. At the time, I didn’t care to tell him.

    Now that I’m happy with Mr. Tattoo, I know in my heart that I could never cheat on him. I’m much more mature and I know how to communicate now. If I ended up cheating on him before the wedding, I would confess. I would hope that he could forgive me and we could work it out like the many couples who do work through cheating every day. If not, then I would accept that.

    The only reason I didn’t tell my ex was because I didn’t respect him or even cared if he got hurt. I respect Mr. Tattoo, so if somehow I did end up cheating, I would tell him.

    Post # 6
    Member
    7587 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper
    • Wedding: December 2010

    I would never cheat on Darling Husband. I would talk to him first, but with that said. I would keep it to myself. If it was over and there were no emotions attached, why break his heart. 

    Post # 7
    Member
    1363 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: September 2010

    I wouldn’t need to imagine hiding it. I would cry at the sight of Darling Husband. It would all come out in a garbled flood of tears, the instant I saw him.

    But the scenario is ridiculous, as I could never and would never cheat on the only man I’ve ever truly loved.

    If I had the capacity to hide it and never confess, I wouldn’t really love my Darling Husband. It would be fake love or false love.

    If things got so bad in our relationship, my instinct would not be to cheat but to work it out every other way.

    If it were a “drunken mistake”, I’d leave him and seek professional help.

    Like someone wrote yesterday, somewhere on these boards, real life does not play like a movie.

     

    Post # 8
    Member
    5787 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: May 2011

    I have no idea… I like to think I would be honest with Darling Husband but its so scary to even think about telling him something that could destroy our relationship. I guess our relationship would have to be kinda cr*ppy for me to cheat in the first place. Knowing myself I would probably not say anything.

    Post # 9
    Member
    3142 posts
    Sugar bee

    I had to vote other since I would never cheat.  I can and HAVE gone years without sex with another person.  I don’t just fuck because i’m horny.  I only fuck people I am in love with and am in a relationship with.  I don’t believe in, or participate in recreational or casual sex.  If I was in a dead-end relationship and found a new person before that one was over, I would dump man number one first. No if, ands or buts.  So pretty easy answer there.  And the chances of that happening are pretty slim as I rarely find men who I find mentally stimulating, and or sexually stimulating.  hence why I’ve gone for years in between relationships.

    I’m a weirdo, I know.

    Post # 10
    Member
    7300 posts
    Busy Beekeeper
    • Wedding: September 2012

    @Oneeleven: It was a hypothetical question. lol

    Cheating can be much more than just sex. I only had sex maybe like 3 times with the guy I cheated with. The sex wasn’t even important. It was the attention, affection, and just desire to want to be around me that kept me going back to him. My ex was too busy with work and dropping anything to help his sisters and mom. I remember we were at the movies and his mother texted him that he needed to come over and help her move this bookshelf…at 11pm. I was like WTF. He left me in the middle of the movie to help her. I called the other man and met up with him. We didn’t even have sex that night.

    I think it was more of an emotional affair than a physical. I mean, there was physical aspects, but I was there more for the emotional part. I was too selfish to communicate this with the ex.

    If I happen to turn back into that person and did that to Mr. Tattoo, I would def tell him.

    OF COURSE, I KNOW I wouldn’t, but it’s just for fun!

    Post # 11
    Member
    7431 posts
    Busy Beekeeper
    • Wedding: October 2009

    @Miss Tattoo: Sometimes, I think emotional cheating can hurt more than physical cheating. Just thinking about it, I think I would be more sick about my husband having an emotional affair than a purely physical affair with no emotion involved.

    Post # 12
    Member
    5181 posts
    Bee Keeper

    My opinion that I am sure I would get bashed for is.. I would want to tell him..but for his sake I would not. I have this opinion that a cheater saying that he cheats only hurts the other person. Also, I asked Fiance and he said to just not tell him. I am assuming it is a one time thing. 

    Post # 13
    Member
    7300 posts
    Busy Beekeeper
    • Wedding: September 2012

    @MrsSl82be: You are 100% right. Sex with no emotion involved is just sex. Sex with emotion is much worse IMO. To open your heart to someone else is just devestating to the other person who thinks everything is okay.

    I think I would be able to forgive a physical affair. I think I could forgive an emotional affair, but it would be much harder to get over.

    Post # 14
    Member
    7431 posts
    Busy Beekeeper
    • Wedding: October 2009

    @Miss Tattoo: I really can’t say what I would do in that instance. I was with my ex and our relationship wasn’t that great towards the end, but I was still young, and we had been together almost 4 years, and we were making wedding plans (engaged with no ring). He cheated on me, and I said I woudl stay. Thankfully, he didnt’ want to, because I quickly realiized that I didn’t really want to stay, I was just terrified of the change. 

    Post # 15
    Member
    7431 posts
    Busy Beekeeper
    • Wedding: October 2009

    @MrsNeutrino: Your opinion is just that…your opinion. I hope no one would bash you for it. Especially if your Fiance agrees with you 🙂

    Post # 16
    Member
    5657 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: February 2012

    @MrsSl82be: I agree, emotional cheating is probably 10 times worse than just physical cheating (not to say that physical cheating isn’t terrible).

    Personally, I would have an easier time dealing with my Fiance having a one night stand with some girl he just met than if he spent months seeing some girl behind my back, taking her on dates and such.

    The topic ‘Switch the poll around – if you cheated on SO, but it was over, and you were not’ is closed to new replies.

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