Post # 1
I am meeting my photographer tomorrow so I can finally give him my timeline. Fiance and I already signed his hiring contract but there is a photo shoot that is included in our package that makes no sense to me.
This photo shoot is the “getting ready” pictures. We are not having a church wedding, and I am getting ready at a hair salon along with other unknown brides and people. My dress is very easy to put on, so I don’t really need assistance. I am not wearing anything too fancy, or simbolic or that I wouldn’t like to keep forever in a photo (I love my dress! I’ll probably keep it and wear it again on a future event -same with my shoes). My sisters won’t be with me while I get ready as they will already be at the reception greeting our guests. My mom will be the only one with me, but I know she will be so stressed (because she always does when there ia big event) that there might be a lot of tension in the air and I definitely don’t want that in my pictures!
The thing is, our photographer insist that I take this photos since they are very typical and most brides like them, but I know that I personally wouldn’t care less for them and instead would like other photos. I would prefer to have a “first look” photo shot with my Fiance and I meeting at our venue where our ceremony will be hold. And since our family will also be there early, maybe we can take some pictures with them.
However, I am having trouble conving my photographer, as he insists I will regret it. I know I wont.
Any tips on how to deal with this issue? I don’t want to be rude or mean with him. And, on a side note, is exchanging the “getting ready” photo shoot for the “first look” an equal trade? I have been wondering if the reason he wants to stick with the “getting ready” pictures is because they are easier to take. Any bee-photographers that might help?
Post # 2
Um.. it’s your wedding, and your money. In the end, he works for you… Maybe if your fiancee talks to him? I hate to go there, but for one person to be so patronizing to another it makes me wonder if perhaps there isn’t some misogyny going on there… you should be able to just inform him of how you want to use the services you’re paying for.
I personally would much prefer first look photos to getting ready. I can get ready for a million and one events, but there is only one moment when my fiancee and I will get to really have a first look.
Post # 3
I agree, I would also prefer first look to getting ready photos. I wonder if part of the reason he doesnt want to do the swap is because he thinks he could maybe get you to pay extra for first look photos? Im not sure, but hold your ground and insist. If anything you can argue that photos with your family and your Fiance are part of the ‘getting ready’ he wants to shoot- I mean it does all happen before the ceremony!
Post # 4
I’m a photographer. I know why he’s doing this… photographers like to showcase an entire wedding day on the website… just tell him having getting ready photos is not important to you, and that you’d rather do first look. Don’t ask him his opinion, just tell him it’s more important to both of you that you use that shooting time for a first look, and that you hope he can see this through.
Post # 5
thepretzelbride: You are paying him, so you get to TELL HIM how the pics are going down. Be forceful if you have to… dont be passive aggressive when it comes to what you want for your wedding. He wants to show up at the salon? Um weird… and is he against first look pics? I would be pissed if my photog was so pushy.
Post # 6
- Wedding: March 2016 - Surfer\'s Beach, Grand Cayman
Time is time, he should be able to switch out this hour for another somewhere else. However as a photographer myself I do like to have a bit of time with the bride before going right into a first look, doesn’t need to be hours of getting ready but just a bit of time to make her feel at ease and get a few detail shots and of her alone before the rush begins, and I like to do the same with the groom. It really does help tell the story of the day.
Post # 7
Its funny we basically did this and everyone who sees our pictures comments about it (something like “wow your photog didn’t even get any of you getting ready! what a jerk!!!”)
but in reality it was me – I didn’t really want getting ready pics cause well I am plus sized, felt like I was paying a ton for hair and makeup and why the hell would I want a bunch of pics of me trying not to sweat through my spanx with my hair in curlers?
so while I am 99.99999% happy but do have a tiny ugh when I see all the adorable size 2 brides and her 15 also adorable Bridesmaid or Best Man in their little silky robes getting ready and toasting but to be honest those wouldn’t have been my pictures anyways and I know that of the photos that were taken of me getting ready I pretty much hate them (my dress was twisted and no one noticed/fixed it so the sweatheart neck is all weird)
so basically do what you want… if it isn’t going to be the sort of “getting ready” that is all over the bridal blogs and you don’t feel the need to waste time on it then just go for it but know that you might feel a little bad in the end either way (I opted to just do like 10 min before the first look – so all hair and makeup done, just step into the dress and get laced in and then walking out the door to meet up)
Post # 8
I really don’t understand whey your photographer would fight you on anything. That’s no fun. Sorry you’re having to deal with that.
I will add one thought though: During my “getting ready” pictures, the photographer took lots of shots of all my little details – my shoes, the invites, my jewelry, my gifts to my maids, the dress by itself, the bouquets, our rings, etc. I’m huge on little details like that so I really love those pictures. So that’s something to consider. But if you’re a “big picture” person instead of detail oriented like me, you probably won’t miss those photos either.
Post # 9
Just explain exactly what you said here to your photographer. I’m sure they will understand.
I will say that I was like you and didn’t have a bunch of people getting ready with me. I had my hair done that morning and did my own make-up before the photographer ever showed up. As soon as he arrived he took some shots of the decorations and stuff. However, we did take just like 10 min to take getting ready photos with my husband.
Its an idea to consider since you’re already open to having a first look and it doesn’t sound like you’re super stoked about getting ready with your mom. Have her go help greet guests and get ready with your husband. Have the photographer catch that and then some photos of just the two of you before the ceremony. Thats what we did and I was super happy with the choice. For one, it was amazingly fun and relaxing to get ready with my husband. And I love the pictures that turned out. Like you, I didn’t have a super complicated dress, just a zip up sheath dress. But we had the photographer come in once I was in but not zipped into the dress and my husband had pants on. He got pics of me helping my husband put his tie and button his cuffs, him zipping my dress, me putting my jewelry on. That nice quiet moment of just us is one of my favorite memories of the day and I love the photos that turned out.
If you did “getting ready” pics like that with your husband you could do them at the church and maybe stil do the before ceremony photos of you too as well. I’m confused as to what your contract says that you get this OR the first look. You aren’t just paying for a certain amount of time with the photographer?
Here’s how ours turned out. Definitely not the classic “getting ready” photos but they are some of my favorites.
Post # 10
Being your photographer he’s probably giving some insight and advice regarding what he knows best since it is his profession. But given that you already know what you want and don’t want, his advice is not really necessary in this situation. I would think the getting ready pictures are easier as it’s only you and your accessories, rather than you and your Fiance for the first look. But just be firm in what you envision for you and your Fiance wedding. If he is a professional, he should accomodate to what you want. It’s better to let your voice be heard now than to eventually regret not having what you truly wanted.