Post # 1
(kinda long) So by now I think yall get it, I do not do shut it up well (at all). So for our first anniversary/valentine’s I pretended all week like I didn’t care and knew he believed me.
Then day of I drove the hour to his house after he’d left for work and put a painting, candy, flower, and the last reason of my 14 reasons I love you in his house. When he came home before his allergy appointment he was so shocked and called “are you still here?” I played dumb and was like “no, I was never there”. He was like “ok, sure. I can’t wait to see you tonight. love you so much . yada yada”
When he came over I was dressed up and had his favorite, lamb (which aside from being expensive is never the cut he grew up with). We had a candle lit dinner and during it he says “my parents can’t wait for florida to get to know you better” me being me I say sooo we’ll be engaged by then right”.
He says “no.” I say “why not” remaining calm but visibly pouting (as is my way). He says ” I’ve ordered your ruby but getting the whole ring will take a little longer”. I counter with “thats fine propose without it”. He says “I want it to be perfect with the ring and everything”. I remind him that if it doesn’t happen in February, it wont happen until April. He says “don’t get sad, I love you” I make a comment about him once again artfully changing the subject and we return to complementing my first foray into uber pricey rock of lamb land.
So! What is he doing?
-My mom says he might be trying to throw me off the scent since I literally wait for him to propose whenever we are together (and have told him as much).
-I think he legit thinks I am kidding about the not saying yes in march and wants to wait until then.
-My bff thinks he might be waiting til florida (and he did ask to leave a day earlier (last day in april).
-My office mate thinks he is stalling and not ready.
oh. and this morning I surprised him and came to see him before he left for work. He seemed weird and like he was trying to get away from me. After he left I started cleaning his kitchen and found a huge folder of engagement ring stuff. I texted and asked if he meant to leave that out for me. He says “nope I did not ;)”. now I’m even more flustered.
Post # 3
sorry there are no paragraphs…I tried to make them but they aren’t showing up for me… curiouser and curiouser
Post # 4
Can you explain the timeline and refusal to accept his proposal in March?
Post # 5
@LeavinOnAJetPlane: At a football game this fall he said ” I’ll propose to you by the end of February and well get married in december/january at the earliest so my brother can be there.” Sounded reasonable to me so I said deal! Welllll Feb’s slippin away!
March is a really difficult month for me because it’s my deceased brothers birthday month (oddly when he died isn’t as hard… perhaps i block it out? or maybe I am so used to celebrating his life in march?) idk but I said if you don’t do it in Feb the earliest it can happen is in april
Post # 6
There is no option for “I don’t know, I’m not a mind reader.” He will do it if/when he wants to. No sooner.
Post # 7
You NEED to relax! It sounds like you’re suckig all of the fun out of the proposal. If I were him, I would be so annoyed that you bring it up all the time. You’re practically begging for it at this point, which is just not attractive at all. He gets the point by now.
Post # 8
I agree with jehembee. My Fiance proposed later than I wanted him to (and later than he told me he was going to) because of circumstances outside of his control. He was trying to wait for my family’s approval, but that never happened, so he finally ended up proposing without it.
If your man has the ring and is talking about it, he WILL do it. I know firsthand how frustrating and difficult it is to wait, but the fact is it’s one more month out of the rest of your lvies together.
If he proposes in March (let’s hope he doesn’t) just say no, and tell him to try again next month.
Honestly you pressuring him to do it now probably isn’t helping matters.
Post # 9
@jehembee: lol well because youre supposed to guess! Clearly he’s the only one who knows for reals!
lol, this is just my personality. not really into surprises or waiting, or secrets. I am just very up front. If something is on my mind I say it. He loves that about me so this doesn’t really bther or shock him. He also likes to torture me a little so he’s been relishing my anxiety over not knowing.
Also, I don’t really have to beg him because he has always been the one to bring up our future, me moving in, our babies, marriage, etc. In fact he told his parent i was the one months before I told my folks. I am just confused about when it will happen!yet, open to thoughtson why it might be that he isn’t ready after all. So confusing!
Post # 10
Am I missing something? Why would you say no if he asked you in March? If you want him to propose so badly, why does that month that he does it matter so much? My husband proposed on a week day with nothing fancy. I said yes. End of story. I just don’t get it.
ETA: Ok, I just read the part about your brother, but does that WHOLE MONTH have to be bad?
Post # 11
@jehembee: The march thing isn’t really something I can control. It does get better each year but as of now I am just not really ready for something that important to happen then if I can avoid it. He knows this so hopefully he doesn’t try to call my bluff.
And I would be fine with a simple proposal, I prefer it actually. I hope it is just the two of us and any non-march day is fine.
Post # 12
I’m not a mind reader, but it sounds like the ring isn’t ready and he wont budge on proposing without one. I wouldn’t go around getting you rhopes up that he’s trying to throw you off – you’re only setting yourself up for disappointment. Just relax, you know it’s coming. Enjoy the last bit of excitement in waiting – you’ll miss the anticipation when it’s gone.
Post # 13
It seems like you’re really determined to ruin this for him, so not really sure what advice we can offer other than blind guessing.
Post # 14
@subtlebee: Have you only been together for a year? Or did I read that wrong?
“So for our first anniversary/valentine’s I pretended all week like I didn’t care and knew he believed me”
Post # 15
You can’t control another person’s actions. You’ve let your desire to be engaged be known quite clearly. Unless you want to propose to him, let him take it from there. It sounds like he is in the planning stages, so why keep harping on it? Just relax and enjoy being with him without mentioning getting engaged all the time. If you literally ‘wait for him to propose whenever [you] are together’, you are missing out on everything else. What will you do once the planning and wedding are over if that’s what your life is consumed by now?
Post # 16
Wait, I just read another of your threads. So, you’ve been dating for a year – and you’re already approaching the END of the timeline?? I’ve been with my SO almost four years (living together for almost 3) and haven’t even STARTED a timeline yet. Haha!
Sorry, this just makes me confused!! Lol, maybe it’s just me…