(Closed) T-minus 2 weeks til his timeline ends…thoughts?

posted 9 years ago in Waiting
  • poll: When and/or will he propose?
    Yes! before Florida : (1 votes)
    1 %
    Yes, in Florida : (11 votes)
    7 %
    Yes, in March... (why) : (2 votes)
    1 %
    Yes, in April (why) : (19 votes)
    13 %
    No, not ready (why) : (102 votes)
    68 %
    Didn't read, too long! : (14 votes)
    9 %
  • Post # 212
    Member
    2925 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: January 2014

    @Button: Omg, I just read all six pages, and your comment alone made it worth it! Hahahah.

    There is a reason I avoid your threads, OP. Your attitude just gets under my skin. Sit back, relax, and wait. He’ll propose when he is ready (and he may only be ready when the ring and other factors are taken care of). Perhaps he will propose by April. I don’t know. Leave him if he doesn’t, if that’s what you desire.

    Post # 213
    Member
    938 posts
    Busy bee

    @subtlebee:  Ok, you don’t want a proposal in March. You may have to wait until April, then. I understand wanting everything to be on your terms and your timeline, but this will likely be one of the few things leading up to the wedding he has complete control over; not only that, but society puts a lot of pressure on guys to do an amazing, romantic proposal that will sweep their girl off her feet with the perfect ring. Take some of the pressure off of him and just let him have at it. He wants to make it perfect; let him. If it takes one more month to make him happy about one of the most important moments in ya’ll’s life together, it’s a small price to pay isn’t it?

    Post # 214
    Member
    224 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: May 2013

    I think you need to take a step back and relax. I more than remember how painful and nervewracking waiting was, but you’ve only been together for a year. I know timelines are different for everyone, and in some areas a year is nothing, but I really think you need more time to make sure you both are completely committed. It sounds like he needs a little more time (at least) to be 100% ready, and there’s nothing wrong with that – in the grand scheme of things, about a year is no time at all.

    Post # 215
    Member
    76 posts
    Worker bee

    [Post moderated for personal attack]

    Post # 216
    Member
    309 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: June 2013

    @Button:  Yay for this comment 🙂

    Post # 217
    Member
    377 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: October 2013

    OP, considering you proposed six months into the relationship and he said no, you should have left the topic of engagement well alone and worked on developing your relationship instead. I can’t believe you are being demanding about this one year into your relationship. You really should have let your partner decide if and when he wanted to propose to you.

    Also, if he does decide to marry you, I think you really need to work through some issues. I was reading a post from you around Christmas time about your “not so secret pact” to not talk to your partner at all because he travelled abroad for Christmas. Your comment “I think part of me also feels like he chose to not be with me so he shouldn’t get any of me at all” just about sums it up. I can’t see a marriage lasting based on that sort of childish behaviour. Ugh.

     

     

    Post # 218
    Member
    6458 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: June 2013

    1. You don’t sound like someone in her late 20s, and you do not sound like a doctoral candidate.  

    2. He will propose if and when he wants to.  Badgering him won’t change a thing.

    3. No one who says they are an awesome person inside and out is actually an awesome person.

    Post # 219
    Member
    380 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: November 2013

    I withdraw my statement after reading the rest of the thread lol

    Post # 220
    Member
    7439 posts
    Busy Beekeeper
    • Wedding: December 2012

    @fishbone:  (Reply # 160)  —-> A million times THIS

    Inspired by the Waiting boards, I asked DH how he would have responded if I  had dropped hints constantly, stomped my feet, and generally made a big fuss  over him proposing. 

    He said he probably wouldn’t have ever married me, if I had acted that  way.

    Keep in mind, he’s probably not the only man out there who feels this  way.

    You can’t go through life stamping your feet and pouting when you don’t get  what you want, when you want it. And that behavior is extremely unattractive on  a grown woman.

    lol, actually she can…

    But she’ll be putting herself into a position filled with a lifetime of heartbreak and disappointment…

    As most Adults will go out of their way to avoid such individuals.

    The behaviour is quite tiresome.  Someone always wanting to get their own way… or throwing a tantrum (emotional blackmail = pouting, threats etc).  These occurences aren’t pleasant in a small child… they are even less attractive in a full-grown adult.

    Like others I’m guessing that her BF is either feeling highly pressured… or is stalling because he’s got some trepidation about the whole marriage thing… be that because they’ve only been together a year, or the fact that she is only focussed on this one element of their relationship (and has been for over half their relationship)

    Waaay too desperate… and too much pressure IMO… too demanding.  To much about her, and not him.  I feel sorry for the guy… he’s potentionally looking at a lifetime of trying to please someone who seems to be very self-centred and controlling.

    WHY would any guy knowingly choose that?  He is holding all the cards at this point in time (he took them into his hands / she turned them over to him when she proposed and he said NO).  I’m guessing that he’s watching the rest of the game play out around him, before he decides what to do next.

    It does look to me like she’s busily sabotaging her own chances… and she seems determined to do that.

     

     

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