(Closed) Tacky? Or not?

posted 5 years ago in Etiquette
  • poll: Is it tacky to include a line about monetary gifts along with registry info on the wedding website?
    Yes, leave it out, it's tacky and/or it's obvious that you don't want much stuff : (107 votes)
    83 %
    No, it's fine : (21 votes)
    16 %
    Other - explain? : (1 votes)
    1 %
  • Post # 3
    Member
    9916 posts
    Buzzing Beekeeper
    • Wedding: June 2013

    You write, “We are registered at Barnes and Noble” and that’s that.

    Post # 4
    Member
    5956 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: April 2018

    @lolot:  The only way to do it, is by word of mouth, writing it down creates a scenario where there is no winning, only varying degrees of loss….the people that want to give you a tangible thing…will and the rest will give you cash, so it’s better left unsaid.

    Post # 5
    Member
    463 posts
    Helper bee

    Totally fine. They clicked on the gift info so they want to know what you’d like for a gift. I would leave out “adorable little” on the house part though cause it sounds a bit boastful.

    Post # 6
    Member
    343 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: August 2012

    I voted it’s fine but it might be a Brit thing – it’s considered absolutely fine to ask for money over here. I like your note and don’t think it sounds tacky at all.

    Post # 7
    Member
    361 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: September 2013

    Our wedding will be in Mn, and we put on the wedding website in the registry a story that my dad wrote. It doesn’t come out and say that we would prefer money but the jist of the “fictional” story is that we have too much stuff!! It’s super cute and I showed to another bride and she is stealing the idea!

    And I don’t think “adorable little house” sounds boastful…

    Post # 8
    Member
    4687 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: June 2013 - Upstate NY

    I would leave the last line out. I know it’s tempting but you cant even politely ask for money.

    Post # 9
    Member
    2600 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: October 2010

    @lolot:  As a traditionalist, I think any mention of a registry or gifts when the question hasn’t been asked is rude.  But specifically asking for cash under any circumstances is definitely tacky and embarrasing.  Most people know that cash is always a welcome gift – you don’t have to mention it. 

    Post # 10
    Member
    1177 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: June 2013

    People who want to give you cash will do so regardless of whether you include that last line. It serves only to potentially seem tacky to some guests. So I’d leave it out.

    Post # 11
    Member
    46606 posts
    Honey Beekeeper
    • Wedding: November 1999

    @lolot:  I would not include a request for money. If you want money to fund renovations, why not register at Home Depot or Lowe’s. Guests can get you gift cards.

    Post # 13
    Member
    12247 posts
    Sugar Beekeeper
    • Wedding: May 2013

    Definitely leave it out!

    Post # 15
    Member
    1478 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: September 2013 - Creek club at ion, SC

    I wouldnt it on my wedding website but id put my giftlist on a univeral registry like “my registry” which allows you to set up a money donation section as well as link your current registry to it

    Post # 16
    Member
    9954 posts
    Buzzing Beekeeper
    • Wedding: December 2012

    Etiquette Snob (lol, as you already know)

    Agree with the other Bees… ANY information is too much info beyond the

    “We are registered at ___”

    Otherwise that everything comes off as sounding gift greedy, desperate, or controlling

    None of them good things…

    As the other Bees have said, your Guests WILL FIGURE IT OUT

    And if they want more info they’ll ask.

    Hope this helps,

    PS… In the long run, things will work out ok.  Promise.

     

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