Post # 1
I just received a thank you from a couple whose wedding we could not attend, but we sent a card with money. The post card is a lovely collage of 5-6 photos from the wedding day with a PRE-PRINTED message that says, “Our wedding day would not have been complete without the support of our family & friends. Thank you for your love, support and very thoughtful gift.” Now at least the bride hand signed it with a “hope all is well…” but no personal message. Is anyone else appalled by this highly efficient thank you (lack of) etiquette?
Post # 3
I would not be offended. They said thank you. They paid for the thank yous. That is all I would hope for, a simple thank you.
But I am sure lots of bees would be offended by this. I’m just not so easily offended.
Post # 4
@Sweet.Sugar.Rose: +1. I got a lot of other things going on in my life to worry about. They acknowledged that they received the gift (so I know it didn’t get lost in the mail) and they thanked me. They thanked you timely. Many people would complain that they got a long hand written thank you 2 months after the wedding, and that it was rude it was not “timely.” I can’t keep up with other people’s expectations!
Post # 5
I wouldn’t be offended but I do think it is appropriate to hand write a little something to the gift giver.
My DH and I ordered pre-printed cards and then I hand wrote a special note specific to the person that gave the gift….so we had both. I enjoy handwritten notes versus pre-printed messages and I figured my guests would too.
Post # 6
They said thank you, I’m surprised they didn’t add a little “sorry you couldn’t make it” inside but ultimately I don’t think one can complain if one gets a thank you these days.
Post # 7
@GirlNextDoor: how long after the wedding was this? At least you got a handwritten note on it as well. I had a bit of thank you card rage the other day… I would have been happy if we got what you did! http://boards.weddingbee.com/topic/thank-you-notes-23
Post # 8
i’ve received two of these types of thank you cards …
The first one was married in Feb and I chipped in with everyone from work and we got her all her china, she sent us a pic of her and DH, still hangs on the fridge. I recieved it in about a month and she thanked us so much for getting her china for us, in the added hand written note.
The second one was from my 2md cousin, she’s 40years older than I am, it’s her first wedding and the pic and pre printed thankyou note came exactly one year after her wedding and had nothing about what we gave. (gave money and seriously for a year worried that one of her druggie nephews/my cousins, stole the bag with the $$ and cards).
Appreciated the first one much more. To tell the truth tho, after handwritting 45 or so thank you notes myself, and I’m sure we screwed up a few because everyone came back to our house, when we and everyone else were drunk, to open cards and gifts. …… at least she hand wrote something to you .
Post # 9
I received one like that in the past, no hand-written note though. It doesn’t make me any less friends with them, and I wasn’t “offended,” but honestly, I do think it’s in poor taste. It has been several years and that one still stands out in my mind – whereas I don’t necessarily remember if I did or didn’t get thank yous at all from other people, I just remember they went to the trouble to send them but then made them pre-printed.
I was raised on writing thank yous though and think they are very important.
The thank you is the final impression you leave with your guests. For me, I’ll take the time to handwrite them (and FI will do his side, but we’ll both sign them all).
Post # 10
I understand that “thank you’s” are proper etiquette but I personally think they are a waste. all I so with them is through them away after I open them, so I honestly could care less if i got one or not. But, that’s just me.
Post # 11
@GirlNextDoor: I’ve posted about the same thing! So rude. At least this couple signed it – I didnt get that honor!
Post # 12
@turkey22: Are you doing invitations? Programs? Favors? Flowers? There are lots of things about weddings that are “a waste,” but most people do some or all of them anyway. If I’m going to be wasteful on anything, I’d rather be wasteful on showing my guests gratitude.
That said, pre-printed vs. hand-written aren’t any more or less of a waste, except perhaps of time.
Post # 13
Offended… no. Think they’re lazy… yes.
We eloped, so we didn’t expect gifts, but just in case we got them, I ordered 25 thank you cards. Really elaborate ones, printed with 12 photos on the front, inside, and back. I wrote at least 3 lines in them, mentioning the gift specifically, thanking them for their generosity, and describing how we used it. Eg: his parents gave us $500.00 and we used it for a champage helicopter tour. It was a once-in-a-lifetime experience, which we never would have splurged on on our own, and we’ll never forget it. That card is still on their fridge a year later.
Post # 14
@turkey22: If you don’t get a thankyou note … how do you know they even got the gift?
Post # 15
I believe a hand written thank you card is just common courtesy. I recieved a “thank you” for a wedding gift on Twitter… TWITTER?! I was highly offended. Granted, I sent their gift after the wedding, but still…
Post # 16
@turkey22: It’s proper manners to thank someone for giving you a gift, plain and simple.