Post # 1
I’m beginning to become very frustrated with planning the wedding. Right now, I am dealing with being called tacky.
1. I had my wedding invitations made and was going to put a little map to the venue in with them. I was told by my mother to also put where we are registered in with the invitations…all of these websites online say that it is tacky to include your registry with you invitation. Well, the a large majority of the people invited to the wedding are family friends and will not be attending my bridal shower, so how else will guests know where we were registered because I know some of them will not ask. Is it tacky to put your registry in with your invitations?
2. My fiance and I have lived together for 5yrs and do not really need much for the house so we registered at honeyfund.com. If I list this on a small card in with the invitation my Maid/Matron of Honor thinks I should tell people what honeyfund is and and all the things they can put money towards. She also thinks I should not use the word monetary when describing any of these things on the small card. My mother thinks that I should put something short and to the point because no one wants to read a book, meaning it should read “we are registered at honeyfund.com, where you can give monetary gifts towards our honeymoon.” My Maid/Matron of Honor disagrees and thinks that the wording is tacky, like I’m asking for a donation. So how would you word this to people that you’re registered at honeyfund?
3. I also did not want to deal with hand writting all the addresses on the envelopes, I hate my hand writting and wanted to do labels with a pretty font, and yet again online, it says labels are tacky and you should hand write them out. Are labels tacky?
4. I had rsvp cards made, at the bottom of them it says you can go to our website to rsvp or send the card back. I was only going to put postage on some of the rvsp card envelopes, like my grandparents, who do not own a computer but for all my friends, they are online every day and do not mail anything, so I figured why waste the stamp on those invites. My friend and her mother think this is tacky and that I should put postage on every one of the rsvp envelopes regardless of who will send them back or not. My mother said she thinks it’s a waste to put postage on all, she said she just received a wedding invitation the other day without postage on the rsvp card and she didn’t think anything of it. My fiance and I are trying to stay on a budget and not spending an extra $45 on postage would be nice, especially to those who won’t send the cards back. Is no postage tacky?
Why are all of these things deemed tacky and who decided they were? It’s annoying.
Post # 7
LOL, I think it was Emily Post.
But really, MOST people don’t get all that crazy into etiquette except some older ladies. If you want to avoid the registry issue, make a wedding website. You can have both your map and your registry linked to it. THEN include an insert or blurb on your invites that this is my wedding website, and that way, you’re being discreet, but still pointing them to the registry. I guised mine under, “For directions to the wedding, and other fun stuff, go to www….” Which maybe was tacky, but still. 🙂
Post # 9
1. Yes, it is tacky because it is tacky to ask people for gifts. And that is basically what you’re doing when you advertise where you’re registered. If they want to know, they will ask. It’s not like there was a specific person or day when this was declared tacky, it’s just kind of common sense that it’s rude to ask people to give you stuff.
2. Again, there is nothing to word here. If people ask where you’re registered, you tell them about it. You could also put an explanation on your wedding website. But it has no place in your invitation, because again, it is asking for gifts and that isn’t polite.
3. My advice would be to run the envelopes through a printer with very light grey ink, then trace over it so they appear to be handwritten. Does this take along time? Sure does, I recently did this for my save the dates. But does it put a nice personal touch on them that is important to any guests? Also yes.
4. Not exactly tacky, but it is basically expected for you to put postage on them. If you don’t people will probably procrastinate and it will be quite an inconvenience for you – it would probably make your life easier to just put on postage on and make sure everyone RSVPs.
Post # 10
Its your wedding, do what you want. Honestly if someone is offended by what you register for or the fact that you didnt hand write the addresses, then they have problems that you dont need to worry about.
1. If thats how its done in your circle then go for it. If you are concerned about it, make a wedding website. But if anyone choses not to give you a gift because you included registry info in the invite, then they really didnt want to give you a gift in the first place.
2. As for the honeymoon registry i wouldnt put the explination here, i would but it on a wedding website or in the welcome on your honeyfund page.
3. No one is really going to care that you have labels, so if thats easiest for you just put nice labels.
4. I would just put postage on the cards of guests who will not go online to rsvp. Why waste the postage?
I personally dont think there is anything you HAVE to do when it comes to your wedding. Do what will work best for you and your guests.
Post # 11
I agree that it’s your wedding and you shouldn’t care what other people think, however, I know that is easier said than done and I care a lot about what other people think and would not want to be called “tacky” so I will give you my opinion of what I would think if I received these things 🙂
1. Yes I would think it’s tacky to include registry info in a wedding invitation. They can do an online search and find your registries or ask your friends and family where you’re registered. If they can’t figure it out they’ll probably just give you money anyways!
2. No wording about registries, gifts etc. in a wedding invitation.
3. I don’t think you have to handwrite, however, I’m not a huge fan of labels but that is personal preference. Can you print directly onto the envelope in a really nice scripty looking font?
4. I think no postage is fine. I would be fine with rsvping online. Yes some people may think this is tacky only if they think “well why did she give us the option to send it in and not give postage?” but I think you will encounter that in VERY rare cases.
Post # 12
ahhh just read @mzlouis2b’s post more carefully and she has a wonderful point. The wedding website is a genius idea. you can include that with your invitation without being “tacky” and it can have all the info you want to tell your guests! Put a card in that says “for more information about the wedding location and other details, please visit ______”
Post # 13
@Wonderstruck: “But does it put a nice personal touch on them that is important to any guests?”
You’d be surprised at the amount of things guests do not notice or care about. This is one of them. This and fancy postage are pretty pointless.
To the OP: I would put registry info on your wedding website and but that address as an insert with the invites. I don’t think it is tacky to do a honeyfund.com registry – we did one too, and it was wildly successful! I don’t see why people seem to always be so resistant to acknowledging the fact that most of today’s couples are well established and have no need for material goods. Spend the money on valuable experiences for the couple instead – memories and quality time are more valuable anyway!
Post # 14
I refuse to use the “T” word, but…
1 and 2. Like others have said, put your registry and honeymoon fund information on a website and include the website address on your invitations.
3. I would either print directly on the envelopes with a cursive or calligraphy font or enlist the help of someone with nice handwriting to write on the envelopes.
4. For the RSVPs – for the people you KNOW will RSVP online, I would include the card but not the envelope. If you include the envelope, then I would say it absolutely HAS to have postage on it. I’ve never received an RSVP envelope w/out postage on it.
I do believe that these things are somewhat regional. If you’ve received invitations that included registry information, invitations with labels, and RSVPs without postage, then maybe nobody will think twice about it. It seems like this isn’t the case though, since you have a Bridesmaid or Best Man who is telling you it’s tacky.
Post # 15
i’d say, don’t include the info in the invitation. but! put it on the website where you’re having people rsvp. that way, you’ll direct them to the information and if they choose, they can give youa gift there.
Post # 16
I’d definitely not include it ON the invitation (or enclosed in it either) but agree with PPs saying to have it on your website and your site’s address on the invite. That’s perfectly fine, because it’s not JUST the registry. Plus, those RSVPing online will see it anyway if they explore the site.
I don’t feel like you have to handwrite anything. I’m going to, but I’m not mailing out hundreds of invitations, and my mom and Maid/Matron of Honor are BMs are helping out. As far as postage, I’m not sure how I feel. I definitely think you should include it if you thnk people will send it back in the mail – it IS easier, really, to just drop a card in the mail with postage already on it than to log on to a website.
Post # 17
1. and 2. totally agree, list it on your website. do not not not include it in your invitation information. It comes off as an ivitation to give you a present, not an invitation to be your guest.
3. I would print the envelopes directly on envelopes as mentioned above or do a wrap around label. I’m not a fan of labels at all, but have seen many wrap around labels on the bee that look great for a more casual presentation.
4. If you can I would include RSVP cards for online users that just say your website, and to RSVP there. Then include a seperate traditional RSVP card with envelopes+postage for others.
Post # 18
Ok as for postage I say who cares. Honestly if we are talking about “etiquette” then you shouldn’t even be sending an RSVP card. They should be replying with a hand written note on their own stationary so 😛 lol. We will be sending out invitations ALL across Canada AND the US. I’ve decided to skip the UK relitives. I cannot be bothered figuring out the return postage for each idividual invite across two countries. Are you kidding me? Let them spring for a stamp I say! I bet most of them have a roll of stamps in their home offices or at work anyway.
Post # 19
I know for the US if you are sending an RSVP back to the USA of the Post office told us that the stamp has to come from a post office there. We couldn’t even purchase a stamp for return back to the USA for our 1 invite that went to Canada.
As for OP, agree with the other posters. Put your registry on the website not on your invites.
Post # 20
Gosh, I don’t even know if we had stamps on our RSVP envelopes…! Maybe I should ask our invitations gal about that.
The only thing that I would personally really try to avoid is mentioning gifts/registries/funds/etc. on the actual invite itself. For the stamps and labels, I say do what you want. People just throw the envelope away anyway.