(Closed) Tacky This, Tacky That

posted 7 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
1212 posts
Bumble bee

Hun it’s YOUR wedding, do whatever saves your sanity and to hell with anyone elses judgments.

Post # 4
9824 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

Well, I don’t really like the word tacky, but to me personally asking for honeymoon money and putting registry info on the invitations are things I don’t really care for. I’ve made that well known on here, not everyone agrees, but I just don’t like it. You’ll find when it comes to weddings, everyone has their own definition of appropriate. Either take the advice with a grain of salt or choose to ignore it and carry on with what you’re doing. No one can win the wedding debate. A lot of it just comes down to how people were raised/culture/region. Don’t worry too much about the “T” word.

Post # 5
9029 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2011

Do whatever you want its your wedding. But I personally dont like the sound of asking for money

Post # 6
1577 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

I agree that it’s annoying that a lot of things that make sense are considered “tacky” in the wedding world.  One way to get around putting your registry directly in the invite is to have a wedding website.  Then you can put the address to your wedding website in the invites instead… and include a link to your honeymoon registry on your website.

Post # 7
858 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

LOL, I think it was Emily Post.

But really, MOST people don’t get all that crazy into etiquette except some older ladies. If you want to avoid the registry issue, make a wedding website. You can have both your map and your registry linked to it. THEN include an insert or blurb on your invites that this is my wedding website, and that way, you’re being discreet, but still pointing them to the registry. I guised mine under, “For directions to the wedding, and other fun stuff, go to http://www….” Which maybe was tacky, but still. 🙂

Post # 9
4803 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

1. Yes, it is tacky because it is tacky to ask people for gifts. And that is basically what you’re doing when you advertise where you’re registered. If they want to know, they will ask. It’s not like there was a specific person or day when this was declared tacky, it’s just kind of common sense that it’s rude to ask people to give you stuff.

2. Again, there is nothing to word here. If people ask where you’re registered, you tell them about it. You could also put an explanation on your wedding website. But it has no place in your invitation, because again, it is asking for gifts and that isn’t polite.

3. My advice would be to run the envelopes through a printer with very light grey ink, then trace over it so they appear to be handwritten. Does this take  along time? Sure does, I recently did this for my save the dates. But does it put a nice personal touch on them that is important to any guests? Also yes.

4. Not exactly tacky, but it is basically expected for you to put postage on them. If you don’t people will probably procrastinate and it will be quite an inconvenience for you – it would probably make your life easier to just put on postage on and make sure everyone RSVPs.

Post # 10
1041 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2012

Its your wedding, do what you want. Honestly if someone is offended by what you register for or the fact that you didnt hand write the addresses, then they have problems that you dont need to worry about.

1. If thats how its done in your circle then go for it. If you are concerned about it, make a wedding website. But if anyone choses not to give you a gift because you included registry info in the invite, then they really didnt want to give you a gift in the first place.

2. As for the honeymoon registry i wouldnt put the explination here, i would but it on a wedding website or in the welcome on your honeyfund page.

3. No one is really going to care that you have labels, so if thats easiest for you just put nice labels.

4. I would just put postage on the cards of guests who will not go online to rsvp. Why waste the postage?

I personally dont think there is anything you HAVE to do when it comes to your wedding. Do what will work best for you and your guests.

Post # 11
322 posts
Helper bee

I agree that it’s your wedding and you shouldn’t care what other people think, however, I know that is easier said than done and I care a lot about what other people think and would not want to be called “tacky” so I will give you my opinion of what I would think if I received these things 🙂

1. Yes I would think it’s tacky to include registry info in a wedding invitation. They can do an online search and find your registries or ask your friends and family where you’re registered. If they can’t figure it out they’ll probably just give you money anyways!

2. No wording about registries, gifts etc. in a wedding invitation.

3. I don’t think you have to handwrite, however, I’m not a huge fan of labels but that is personal preference. Can you print directly onto the envelope in a really nice scripty looking font?

4. I think no postage is fine. I would be fine with rsvping online. Yes some people may think this is tacky only if they think “well why did she give us the option to send it in and not give postage?” but I think you will encounter that in VERY rare cases.

Post # 12
322 posts
Helper bee

ahhh just read @mzlouis2b’s post more carefully and she has a wonderful point. The wedding website is a genius idea. you can include that with your invitation without being “tacky” and it can have all the info you want to tell your guests! Put a card in that says “for more information about the wedding location and other details, please visit ______”

Post # 13
10367 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2010

@Wonderstruck: “But does it put a nice personal touch on them that is important to any guests?”

You’d be surprised at the amount of things guests do not notice or care about. This is one of them. This and fancy postage are pretty pointless.

To the OP: I would put registry info on your wedding website and but that address as an insert with the invites. I don’t think it is tacky to do a honeyfund.com registry – we did one too, and it was wildly successful! I don’t see why people seem to always be so resistant to acknowledging the fact that most of today’s couples are well established and have no need for material goods. Spend the money on valuable experiences for the couple instead – memories and quality time are more valuable anyway!

Post # 14
1843 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

I refuse to use the “T” word, but…

1 and 2.  Like others have said, put your registry and honeymoon fund information on a website and include the website address on your invitations. 

3.  I would either print directly on the envelopes with a cursive or calligraphy font or enlist the help of someone with nice handwriting to write on the envelopes.

4.  For the RSVPs – for the people you KNOW will RSVP online, I would include the card but not the envelope.  If you include the envelope, then I would say it absolutely HAS to have postage on it.  I’ve never received an RSVP envelope w/out postage on it.

I do believe that these things are somewhat regional.  If you’ve received invitations that included registry information, invitations with labels, and RSVPs without postage, then maybe nobody will think twice about it.  It seems like this isn’t the case though, since you have a Bridesmaid or Best Man who is telling you it’s tacky.

Post # 15
164 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

i’d say, don’t include the info in the invitation. but! put it on the website where you’re having people rsvp. that way, you’ll direct them to the information and if they choose, they can give youa gift there.

Post # 16
6892 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: March 2012

I’d definitely not include it ON the invitation (or enclosed in it either) but agree with PPs saying to have it on your website and your site’s address on the invite. That’s perfectly fine, because it’s not JUST the registry. Plus, those RSVPing online will see it anyway if they explore the site.

I don’t feel like you have to handwrite anything. I’m going to, but I’m not mailing out hundreds of invitations, and my mom and Maid/Matron of Honor are BMs are helping out. As far as postage, I’m not sure how I feel. I definitely think you should include it if you thnk people will send it back in the mail – it IS easier, really, to just drop a card in the mail with postage already on it than to log on to a website.

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