(Closed) Tacky This, Tacky That

posted 10 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 35
Member
1501 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

Labels all the way!! Who wants to spend the time and effort hand writing them all. And my writing is terrible.

You can get nice labels and use nice fonts.

Post # 36
Member
102 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: November 2011

I think labels are fine and not putting postage is fine if there is an RSVP online option, but I would not put any registry information in your invite. If someone wants to know, they will ask. If not, they will probably give cash anyway. It’s just too presumptuous for my taste.

Post # 37
Member
1641 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

I guess I’m kind of old-school in the idea that you never, ever ask for money as a gift. No matter how it is worded.

Post # 38
Member
1809 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: April 2011

I know this is a couple of days old, but I think you should stop running your ideas by your mom, your Maid/Matron of Honor, her mom or anyone else but your FH. Do what you think is right and leave others out of it. They seem like they’re making things much harder on you.

Post # 39
Member
5109 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: November 2011

Its your wedding so do what you want. Yes a lot of people think that its “tacky” to do a honeyfund, but a lot of people still do it. You know your family and friends more than we do so do it if you think its ok. I personally only have a problem with you not putting postage on all the rsvp’s I think you will run into issues there, and you never know what someones preference is. But I think its really rude to expect your guests to pay for anything.. Maybe you dont know all of thier situations you may think so and so has a comp etc and may not. Idk I think thats the only thing I would have an issue with. rsvp’s should all be the same.

Post # 40
Member
7 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: November 2011

Ah, the wedding etiquette. Don’t you just love all of the do’s and dont’s of wedding planning. But at last, impressions count for a lot and you do not want to offend any guests. There are reeasonable solutions that are easy to accomodate even Miss Betsy Etiquette.

1.) Your wedding is a celebration of love and you want those that you care about most to be there to witness. Now if they do not get you a gift, it is bad etiquette on their part if they attend your wedding. But you should never ask for a gift. That is just terrible manners. So, no I would not put registry info in your wedding invites. I would however create a wedding website (that is in good taste) and mainly includes info about lodging, the ceremony and reception, maps, and info about the area you are having your wedding take place (things for them to do). Graciously you can then insert your registries at the end of your website. On your invites you can then add a side note (possibly on a map) “For lodging, directions, and more, please visit http://www.weddingwire.com/…….”

2.) Honey moon registries include the cutest items to register for; a four course champagne breakfast on the terrace overlooking the beach, or a couples massage complete with organic lavander salt scrub, etc…. I went on a friends registry once and she was registered at department stores, but also a honeymoon registry. I chose to gift her the cooking classes on her honeymoon because I love to cook and that was fun for me to buy. But do register for China or other household goods (and you wont regret it) for the older generations.You can have multiple registries.

3.) Your guests are doing you a favor by coming to your wedding. You are not Princess Kate. Your family and friends are showing their suppiort and love by attending your wedding. Give them a break and include a stamp. I never have stamps on me so if someone cheaped out on that part, then I just might not reply and say ” well I wasn;t worth a stamp, may be your not worth a nice gift or my money and time getting to the ceremony if you think that little of me.” You spent a lot of time and money picking out the right invites, might as well go that extra mile and spend a little more on stamps.

Weddings are expensive, but in the end (unless you elope) it is a big party for everyone else. You want your guests walking away feeling like they just had the time of their life and that they were just as important. Spend a little more on a creative guest gift, really good food, great booze and music, and yes…..stamps.

Post # 41
Member
5497 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: December 2019 - Paris, France

EVERYTHING CAN BE CONSIDERED TACKY!  But I am doing 90% of it anyways. My family REQUESTED that I put the registry info in with the invite…so I am doing that! I don’t care if it is tacky or not! I am also doing a honeymoon wishes thingy.. WHO CARES? do what is right in your circle! 

Post # 42
Member
1936 posts
Buzzing bee

I dont think any of those things are tacky and in fact I’m doing almost every single one you are! Except the honeyfund.com. But I think it’s great to include a card saying short and sweet that you are registered at honeyfund.com where you can contribute to the honeymoon. Honestly, I don’t think anyone really gets hung up about these things and barely anyone knows wedding etiquette anyway. I just go with what people around me are doing – all my friend included a card for the registry in the invite, most of them did RSVP by email, I forget about the labels, but who cares – do what you want!

Post # 43
Member
827 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

1. Tacky! No registry information should be given with the invitation period.

2. Tacky! Again, the registry information should not be in the invitation. If you are going to post this on your wedding website, I would also reword that to say “In lieu of traditional gifts the bride and groom are excepting contributions to the honeymoon. Please visit honeyfund.com”

3. Tacky! They don’t have to be calligraphed only neatly writen, the purpose of which is to make guests feel personally invited. This is, afterall, the only part that you will write.

 

4. Not tacky. I personally feel that since you are providing other means of responding it is unneccesary. Ms. Emily Post seems to agree http://www.emilypost.com/weddings/wedding-invitations-and-announcements/340-repondez-sil-vous-plait

Post # 44
Member
40 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: October 2012

I think that you should not include the registry information in the invitation simply because you are getting married and wish to have these people there to be a part of a momentous occasion, not to give you gifts.  What if I planned to make something handmade or give you something that held a lot of sentiment? A registry card sends the message that anything else is not good enough.  It is annoying but it IS tacky because it is asking for gifts and not just any gifts but monetary ones since you said this is a honeyfund.  

The best way is through word of mouth or on the website.  And here’s the key- if I want to get you a present off of your registry -guess what? I can ask someone or find a way to get that information easily.  It’s NOT THAT hard.  Use the website solution.  Every single invitation I have received has never had registry info on it.  A few had websites that had it and for the rest, I just asked the couple themselves directly or one of their wedding party.  That’s what they are there for.

 

Post # 45
Member
437 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

View original reply
@Wonderstruck: The idea with printing them out with light gray ink and going over them is fantastic!! I’m totally going to use this, I think…

And I’d want to add postage to every RSVP envelope. It breaks down the barriers for sending them back. LOL!

Post # 46
Member
929 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: December 2011

DO.  WHAT.  YOU.  WANT. 

Its your wedding!! Do you honestly think someone is going to not be friends with you, not come to your wedding, or disown you from the family for doing something that they themselves wouldn’t do?  WHen these topics come up, there are ALWAYS people who say “I hate that, but of course i’d never say anything to the bride!” So, who cares?? Do what you want.  The more people you run your decisions by, the more drama you will court. 

Include the registry info, have a honeyfund, print the eff out of your address labels, and make people pay for their postage or email/call with their RSVP if they don’t want to.  If people are offended by it or think its tacky, they’ll get over it!!

Post # 47
Member
474 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

SCREW TACKY!

Do whatever you want. If you don’t need stuff for your home, why bother asking for it? Save money on posatge, if you don’t think they’re gonna sent it back then why bother?

Printing out addresses or hand addressing them? who cares. unless you’re sending one to emily post herself, or hte queen of england perhaps then they’ll probably not notice, or remember. and if they have a problem with it, they can deal..

Post # 48
Member
929 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: December 2011

View original reply
@lilgrizzlygirl: I think we’d get along well, judging by our responses 🙂

Post # 49
Member
1684 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

On label printing…

If you’ve got an ink jet (not a laser printer!) you can feed them through and print directly on the envelope. Voila, no label. There are also many very nice calligraphy style fonts available. 🙂

It would take a little longer than doing a sheet of labels, but not as long as writing them by hand.

This is probably tacky also.

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