(Closed) Tacky This, Tacky That

posted 10 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 50
4332 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

wasn’t there a thread awhile ago, that was something like “my tacky wedding” and in it everyone listed all the things they were doing that some might consider “tacky” ? 

It was a pretty hilarious thread (I thought,) and great to think about how not only is everyone’s definition of tacky different, but you can still have an awesome wedding and not follow all the “rules!”

(anyone else remember or know where that thread is?)

Post # 51
95 posts
Worker bee

Weddings are social events and manners and etiquette are not suspended just because you are getting married.  Etiquette was designed for weddings and other social events.  Yes, you can have an awesome wedding despite putting registry information on your wedding invitations, but it is incredibly rude and suggests there is a price tag associated with attending your wedding.  Let’s say your family is okay with it:  etiquette was designed so that you ensure you act with grace around all sorts of people.  Just because your mom, dad, and Auntie Margaret are fine with it, doesn’t mean it won’t leave a bad taste in the mouths of 50 of your other guests. 

Just like you can’t do whatever you want in your daily life, you can’t suspend rules of politeness and good manners simply because you are getting married.  It is times like this when etiquette is most important.

Post # 52
40 posts
  • Wedding: October 2012

View original reply
@singasong: Exactly thank you.  People who keep shouting Do what you Want it’s YOUR DAY are missing the point.  It’s one thing to not handwrite your invitations – it’;s nice but not tacky if you choose not to do it.  But it IS tacky to ask for gifts – and that is exactly what a registry info in the invite is doing.  Sorry but no – people will obviously get you a gift for your wedding – and trust me, they can easily find out your registry.  Don’t add it to the invitation. 

Post # 53
558 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2015 - Thorpewood

I got a wedding invite a few months ago and they included their registry info in the invitation.  I didn’t even slightly think it was tacky.  You give people gifts at their weddings (or else you, yourself, are rude in my opinion).  It makes more sense for the bride and groom to tell everyone in their invitations where they’re reigistered rather than having to deal with 100 people asking, “where are you registered?”

I know when I get engaged, I’ll be sending out registry info with my invitation.

Post # 54
95 posts
Worker bee

Whenever I have wanted to find out registry information for friends getting married, I utilized the absolutely marvelous tool that the kids these days are calling the Google.

Post # 55
265 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

I just tackled all of this and it ended up awesome, so I’ll put in my two cents.

We also did honeyfund, and like other PP’s have said, we created a wedding website and added a link to our honeyfund on our website. 

We made an RSVP postcard that I included with the invites.  I put a stamp on all of them, but only had to pay for a postcard stamp which is way cheaper.  At the bottom of each postcard I put “for all additional event information or to RSVP online please visit http://www.ourwebsiteaddress.com”

We used weddingwire.com and they have an option to add and RSVP online tab, which we did and lots of people used. 

Actually, most people RSVP’d online, signed our guestbook, bought from honeyfund AND sent the post card back. 

So far, honeyfund has been super successful and everyone has commented that it was a neat idea.  And everyone found our registry because of the wedding website info we included on our RSVP postcards. 

I had to send out 205 invites and there was NO way that I was going to handwrite all of them!  I decided to do cute wrap around labels that I made in Word.  I used a handwriting font from http://kevinandamanda.com/fonts/fontsforpeas/

It is actual handwriting that people submit that she turns into font and you can download them for free.  Everyone thought my labels were cute because I did a little something extra instead of just a plain label.

Hope this helps!

Post # 56
7 posts
  • Wedding: November 2011

Just an update on our invites and the responses we received. We did letterpress but found a printer who was able to do it by using some other form of equipment for a whole lot cheaper and no one could even tell the difference. Even the map was letterpressed. They were simple, a little traditional but with my own twist. I found a caligraphy artist who addressed 75 invites for $100. This was well worth it! I have received compliment after compliment on our invitations. And even responses saying how refreshing it was to NOT get an invite that was full of glitter, bright colors galore, and so busy you have to re-read over and over where the location is to understand anything and padded with tacky gift registry cards. The stamp was also well worth it too on the rsvp envelope. Nearly every person sent back their rsvp within a week. I don;t think this would have happened had I not included a stamp. Hey, one less thing I now have to worry about and will not be spending my time calling people for thier rsvp.

Post # 57
2819 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: February 2013

1 & 2 will just get you a lot of conflicting answers. Personally, I wouldn’t be offended if the registry was listed on the invitation — I’d find it useful, because that way I don’t have to call the bride’s family (I HATE the phone!) and ask, which is an extra step. BUT, I also know that a lot of people ARE offended by listing the registry, because they feel that it’s “demanding gifts”. So…I would go by what you’ve seen with other invites in your area, and if you really want to find out, ask your grandparents what they think! As for #2, again, I think it’s fine to “register” for monetary gifts, but I really don’t think you need to put in much of an explanation — I’m sure the site itself does that.

As a compromise, you could always do what PP suggested, and just say “for more info, see [wedding website URL]”. That’s what we’re doing! : )

As for 3 & 4, labels are FINE! I for one do not give one whit if the card I get in the mail is addressed by hand or by a computer. If you want, there are the suggestions of others to print in a light grey on the envelopes & trace, or use carbon paper & trace a printed out label, or many other ways of “tracing”. But if you decide it’s not worth your while, then you definitely don’t need to do it! With regards to stamps, I agree with PP who say to just put them on the envelopes for guests who you KNOW will mail the card back/don’t have Internet access. It’s so not worth it to waste the stamps! Just be sure to keep track of whose RSVP card is whose when you pack them up in the invites!

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