(Closed) Tactful registry phrasing?

posted 4 years ago in Gifts and Registries
Post # 2
1250 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2017

There shouldn’t be any mention of gifts or registries on an invitation. You can just include the link to your Amazon registry on a “Registry” tab or link on your website, no need to include a message at all. 

Post # 3
4054 posts
Honey bee

View original reply
Geekchick42 :  1. DO NOT mention registry on your invites, not even on inserts with your invites. 

2. Just put a link to your amazon registry on your website. No further info needed

3. If you really don’t want gifts because you have everything you need, just don’t register. People will take the hint and you’ll get cash 

4. I wouldn’t register for a mattress, that’s asking a bit much IMO

Post # 4
62 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: February 2019

You can briefly mention it on your invitation.. but I’ve found that word of mouth works pretty well. Usually people will ask you if they want to give yous something. If you want to put it on your invitation, usually “We are registered at ___.” works fine.

I’d also suggest a cash fund for some attendees who don’t know you well enough to get you a gift. IMO, a mattress is totally fine as a wedding gift. As long as your gifts are home/baby/wedding related it should be fine. I’d suggest using MyRegistry (what my sister used) which is a registry that has a cash fund + registries from a lot of my favorite furniture and lifestyle stores!! Good luck. 🙂  

Post # 6
2067 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2018

Just include the link to your registry on your wedding website or through word of mouth. Most people will buy off of that or give cash. I don’t think there’s a tactful way to tell people not to buy things you didn’t register for. It does come off as “I don’t want your random junk.” So I think you’ll have to take the risk that some people will get you things you don’t want.

Post # 7
9238 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

View original reply
Geekchick42 :  You don’t need to tactfully phrase anything. “No gifts required” goes without saying, and the existance of a registry says “but if you WANT to give us something, this stuff would be cool.” Registries are not touchy. I mean, having one with ridiculous stuff or all expensive stuff, that’s generally frowned upon, but having a normal reasonable registry is fine. Just include a link to it on your website, no commentary needed. 

Post # 8
1250 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2017

The problem is though, at the end of the day you can’t dictate what gifts your guests choose to give to you. Even if you register you can’t avoid individuals going off-registry. Just accept graciously whatever your guests choose to give to you and you can quietly donate it later if it’s not your style. 

Just don’t sign up for a cash registry or a honeyfund. Those companies take a cut of the amounts gifted and mislead your guests. 

Post # 9
464 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2018

Honestly, don’t mention it on your invites. If your family and friends know you and your Fiance they should be aware that you guys live together for so long that you won’t need any gifts. If anyone asks, just poliety say you have a registery. Put the link on your website, and thats about it.

Post # 11
47407 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

Registries aren’t touchy. Putting any mention of gifts, no gifts or registries on a wedding  invitation most certainly is. No mattter the wording, it suggests you want gifts and that your guests need to be told in so many words. In other words, they are not capable of thinking of it themselves.

It is fine to put registry information on a shower invitation as showers are all about gifts.

Post # 12
4873 posts
Honey bee

Here is the thing about “interesting gifts”.  They come from interesting people who probably would have given you that gift no matter what you did.  Do you really think they picked mouse teacups because they just didn’t have any idea what kind of teacups or other item your sister preferred and mouse teacups just seemed like the only logical choice?  Unlikely.  Its probably more a reflection in the gift givers taste than anything else and some people will always prefer to flaunt their own tastes and won’t use the registry, possibly because they feel it is more heartfelt and thoughtful to do so, amongst other reasons.  And no matter how much you may indicate cash is preferred in whatever roundabout way you might, some people find giving cash distasteful and will always give a physical gift.  That’s just life and the quirks of living amongst diverse people with different opinions.  You accept their gifts graciously and appreciate the thought.

As for registries, it doesn’t need advertisement.  Anyone who wants to find it can Google your name and the word registry and probably find it, ask, or guess – there are just a handful of big name places where most people tend to register.  

Post # 13
3228 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: March 2017

The interesting gifts aren’t preventable. 

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