Post # 1
I’m the primary breadwinner in my marriage and my paycheck is stable and covers all of our bills plus some. My husband contributes but his paycheck isn’t as secure every biweek
With my surplus I’d like to start saving a little extra mad money just in case. This will not be a secret account per say. I will tell him that I opened an account in my own name just not giving him monthly updates of the account balance. We already have joint savings so this is my personal savings since my husband isn’t the best saver. I only plan to access this account if we’ve already exhausted our joint or as extra retirement savings.
How do I do this while protecting it as a non shared marital asset
I know I should have established the account before marriage. But that ship has sailed and the only other account I have that was before him is an Internet bank account and I’d prefer a physical bank for this.
I’ve thought about forgoing the account and just saving the money in a lock box but I don’t want to keep that amount of money in the house. And to my knowledge you’re not supposed to keep money in safety deposit boxes something about “taking money out of circulation”. Further going that route is surely an IRS audit depositing more than $8000 cash into any bank.
I also thought of putting it in a/my Roth or a CD but I’d rather not have time constraints or penalties thus why I’m thinking of a bank account. Any ideas?
Post # 2
Sorry about that was posting with my phone and it did weird things… Hopefully this is more clear, I’m going to delete the other one.
Post # 3
somethingblue04: RedHeadKel: Sorry about this it wouldn’t let me edit so I rewrote it.
Post # 4
- Wedding: May 2015 - Walnut Hill Bed & Breakfast
I think the hardest part will be making it legally yours and not shared. Surely it’s possible but I’m not sure how. The rules could differ based on where you live.
Is there a reason you’re worried and setting up your own account in case you need to get out of the marriage?
Post # 5
gemchick82: MUCH better! I know sometimes it does weird things and posts a shit ton of code… hopefully that bug will get fixed soon.
Anyway, I am a bit confused – is this money you intend to save in case of divorce? Or do you just want a seperate emergency savings account that your H cannot have access to because you’re worried he might spend it? If the former, I think you need to talk to a lawyer in your state (since the laws vary). He/she would know the best way to establish the account as a non-martial/shared asset. If it’s the latter, the bank should be able to set up the account so only you can access and your H can only access it if you die.
Post # 6
amberback: No reason to get out, I’m quite happy. Call it baggage from my parents and other marriages that haven’t gone as well as one would have hoped when they said “I do”. I just feel compelled to plan for the future.
Post # 7
gemchick82: If you’re happy then no worries! Have your separate account!
Post # 8
gemchick82: You can have a single account in just your name, if you were to separate I don’t know what that would mean legally witout a pre-nup and it sounds like you’re already married?
Perhaps an inquiry with a lawyer is the best option if you really want to be sure it’s a non-marital asset.
If you’re more concerned about the bank accidentally giving your husband access (which I know has happened to other people) have the account at an institution where you hold no joint account and your husband has no personal accounts either.
Post # 9
RunsWithBears: We’re still newlyweds, so I don’t intend on ever divorcing him. For us, divorce isn’t really in the cards with the exception of a few highly unlikely situations..ie. I find out he’s a serial axe murder, etc.
Most of the other stuff we don’t have issues with: we don’t drink excessively (only couple, 2, drink around the holidays, if that) , don’t smoke, don’t gamble except for the random 5 dollar lotto ticket for a 100K+ jackpot.
I just want to keep my options open just in case. It’s more going to be my emergency emergency fund, when we’ve depleted our joint savings, and my personal savings, ok fine I have this extra rainy day fund that I was really saving for retirement years …
Post # 10
What state do you live in? Google the laws of marital property in your state. Generally though, what’s earned during marriage is yours jointly and barring a pre-nup that addresses the subject, judges have discretion to determine what allocation of assets between two divorcing spouses is “fair”.
Post # 11
MsGinkgo: Yeah, I found a credit union that neither of us have banked with before. That’s where I’d like to open. Yes we are already married (June 2014). We have a poor man’s prenup (not made by a lawyer but notorized) when it comes to the house since both our names are on it, it also covers that his retirement is his and mine is mine, but we neglected to cover “if I open up an account after marriage in my name only what that means…”
Post # 12
Hmmm, I think now that you’re married and the money was accumulated after marriage, this is now a marital asset. I think what you’re doing is very smart. I was the bread winner (or so he led me to believe so I would pay all the bills) and my ex was horrible at saving money and I owned everything so I got a pre-nup. shit happens. CYA! What if you opened an account at a different institution and just didn’t tell him? My divorce was easy bc of the pre-nup so I don’t know if they really dig to find all your bank accounts? But for the time being,I think that’s the easiest route.
Post # 13
gemchick82: It depends on where you live. Some states see that any assets accumulated in marriage are fair to split half and half, not looking at who may have brought in more. Some states see it as whatever you bring in, you take back out when you divorce. I’m not saying you will divorce, I’m just saying this is a factor in looking at where to bank. But if you know you’re not going to divorce, why do you have to have an account that won’t be considered a marital asset?
Post # 14
Like I said, i don’t plan to divorce. But in the highly unlikely event he turns out to be an axe murder or does something so financially irresponsible that could cause our joint assets to be frozen I want to have my own money separate from him just in case.
Right now my husband is wonderful and divorce isn’t an option. But there are plenty of women who married wonderful men who turned into monsters.
Think about the woman who was shot by her husband on their wedding night in Indiana. Think about all the women whos husband have ever commited domestic violence against them, bankruptcy, and other traumatic experiences. Having money on the side to protect yourself and your children is never a bad idea.
If I never need to use it for those reasons then that’s awesome. But I’d rather have it and not need it than need it and not have it.
There’s nothing wrong with me wanting my own stash of cash separate from my husband and wanting him to not be able to take claim to it.
Perhaps I just need him to consider a postnuptial agreement to clear up this issue.
Post # 15
gemchick82: I think this is something you need to discuss with a lawyer, not really something anyone can answer with expertise on Weddingbee (esp because we can’t know your particular situation & many of these laws are specific to your location).
Also, I don’t know your relationship with your husband, but maybe it’s something to talk about with him, rather than keeping it a secret from him.