Post # 1
I have a huge dillema! My father wanta to “give” us the house as a wedding gift, and of course I was super excited at first. but as time goes on, i realizedwhy i didnt want it in the first place.
i know i am young, but i am treated like a child and expected to jump when he(my father) says jump. he wants to move back yo poland but not yet so we would have to put up with bs for a few years. is it really worth it? i understand its my dather, but i have 2 other siblings that can care for him as ive been doing everything for him for 11 years while all thry did was get pregnant early.
plus, my FH and i are expected to pay for bills ect and still put up with his crap. while my in laws who are amazing are letting us stay at their home(2 houses away from my father) for free unyil we can afford our own home in abouy 2-3 yrs.
i currently do everything for my dad and he thibks hes doing everything yhe best for me but i hurt inside because he doea treat mr like a child and a rag doll instead of a.grown woman.
what would u guya do? face the arguement abouy moving out and actually being happy or keep a home and be miserable for your fathers sake?
Post # 3
I wouldn’t take the house. My mother made a similar offer but we chose to save & buy our home ourselves (+ 200k mortgage). I’d rather earn something than receive a gift with strings attached. You should thank your dad for his generous offer but explain you want it to be yourown.
Post # 4
You kinda answered your own question, I would not take the offer of the home, you already are completely unhappy with how the events of taking the house as a wedding gift will unfold.
The first adult thing you and your fiance do is Save for your own home while staying with your inlaws and buy YOUR own house. This way nobody can hold over your head the fact that they GAVE you a house. However you still can help take care of your father, as you should, just not with the leverage of a FREE HOME over your head.
Post # 5
i copletely agree with u giuys but it is so difficult. ive tried to tell him.before i do not want it and i get called stupid for wanting to work for something when hes giving it for free. my sister is almost 35 and my dad still talks about how he gave her everytting. i DO NOT want that said about me but he is so damn stubborn. grrr it makes me so angry that he wont change his mentality of him always being right
Post # 6
When I got married my father offered me his house. I know the benefits of being a homeowner are great, as are the benefits of being a young homeowner who was given a home at no expense, but, like you, there were some other situational problems I knew would be coming along with the house.
I didn’t take the house, we got an apartment instead. For me, it was not worth the possible headaches. I think you pretty muched summed up for yourself all the reasons why you shouldn’t take it.
I will admit I felt guilty turning it down though, and I don’t know if that’s something that you have felt also but in the event that you have I’m here to tell you that you shouldn’t. Making dicisions that benefits you and your SO the most is simply your responsibilty to yourselves as a couple, and that’s what I told my dad. If you don’t think that is the most beneficial to you guys then you probably shouldn’t do it.