(Closed) Take the party planning away from my bridesmaid or not?

posted 8 years ago in Bridesmaids
  • poll: Assign the party to someone else?
    Let her do it. : (1 votes)
    8 %
    Let another willing bridesmaid do it : (10 votes)
    77 %
    Skip the parties altogether : (1 votes)
    8 %
    Wait a few more months and then decide : (1 votes)
    8 %
  • Post # 3
    Member
    2681 posts
    Sugar bee

    I wouldnt necessarily take it away from her, but I would see if any other bridesmaids want to help her with it.  Its my understanding that usually all the bridesmaids help in planning the shower and bachelorette party (although not always).  Are there any BM’s you are really close with you can share your feelings with and see if they can jump in on the planning too?

    Post # 4
    Member
    4001 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: June 2010

    Um, yeah- she’s fired!  That’s probably harsh but what a jerk!  She probably is jealous and treating you this way because she doesn’t know how to maturely deal with those feelings.  I would honestly ask her if she’d like to step down and not be in my wedding!  But I’m sure that’s overreacting.  Is there anyway another Bridesmaid or Best Man can step up and help with the party WITH her, so she can monitor what she does?  Ugh, I don’t want negativity associated with my day, a she seems like ball of negative vibes!  I’m so sorry you’re dealing with this!  But definitely DON’T give up the parties, you deserve them!

    Post # 5
    Member
    6597 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: August 2010

    Honestly I would wait and see but I do think that you have to confront her. Even if it is something simple like “Whoa that was bitchy!” after she says something or “It hurts my feelings when you say …..” I have friends like this and when you bring it to their attention they do become more conscious about saying hurtful things.

    I hope that after you say something things will get better and she will be fine.

    No matter what I would not take the planning away from her. I think that will aggravate the problem between you two. But if things don’t get better maybe you could put another Bridesmaid or Best Man on planning duty with her by saying “BM#2 wants to help you plan etc.”

    Good Luck

    Post # 8
    Member
    4001 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: June 2010

    OMG, she’s just saying that crap to make you insecure!  There is no way you can be 5’2″ at 117 and considered fat, or a lil chubby, or anything other than thin!  I know people that do this, I’m not saying she’s just like them, but I think its possible that she knows you’ll look beautiful and being that she’s insecure, she’s trying to strip you of your confidence, that’s so messed up!

    She kinda sounds like one of the people in bridal party.  She’s more passive aggressive about it though, so it appears to be less malicious.    She actually said to me, “yeah, if you lose weight, make sure not to be as thin as before, that was kinda gross”…. um, I was 5’5” at 135 lbs, how is that gross?  Maybe its just me?  She’s said other things, she offers her very differing opinion when I’ve already made up my mind and never asked for her thoughts, but that was a similar example.  Anyway, she’s said things that have led me to believe that she’s jealous, not necessarily of ME but of where she is in her life versus where I am.  It’s really annoying!

    Post # 9
    Member
    6661 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: May 2010

    I would take control of the situation sooner rather than later and have a meeting with your BM’s. Before the meeting ask one of your BM’s if she will organize the bach party and explain the situation behind the scenes. As long as she is willing, announce to everyone at the meeting that Bridesmaid or Best Man X will be organizing the bach party, just point blank. Also, figure out who will be the lead person on the showerplanning and mention that too. In person is better as she is less likely to throw a fit if everyone is standing there.

    I’m alsonot  against organizing your own bach party. I don’t htink there’ sany shame in it. But this friend sounds like it’s all about her an dyou only get to do this once, so I say take control!

    Post # 11
    Member
    2695 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: April 2010

    Okay first off the comments are out of line. I’m not one to tell someone that they’ve hurt my feelings. I’m just not conforntal like that.  But if you are 5’2″ and only 117lbs then come on your are not fat at all! Heck I’m 5’3″ 148lbs and I think I rock-it.  Agghh… some people.  She just knows that your weight/size bothers you and that’s why she makes those comments.

    My aunt is the same way.  She is really good at wedding planning has done weddings for years. But yet she isn’t current with the current trends.  She made a snide comment about me not doing a Groom’s cake and doing Ice Cream instead.  I said it’s what I want because I know that the Fiance will totally love it.

    As for the parties… don’t give up having your time with your friends/family because of a snotty brat.  I say tell her that you want the other girls to have a part in the planning and not just contribute $$.  If she gives you a hard time then say okay so and so said she could host it at her house, etc.

    The topic ‘Take the party planning away from my bridesmaid or not?’ is closed to new replies.

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