I think the reason this thread garnered so many responses is because it touched a nerve, because so many of us who have done online dating (or any kind of dating) have been in this situation. Often not once, but several times.
This kind of thing is incredibly common.
In my experience, it could be that the guy is just not that into you… but I think it’s far, far more likely that he’s just not that into relationships in general. You both sound more on the young side, and if he is below the age of 35, there is a very good chance that he’s just not really there yet in terms of wanting a relationship. Plenty of guys in their 20s and early 30s are starting to come around to the idea of wanting a girlfriend and relationship, they like the idea of it and they like the way it sounds, and they do want it some day, so when you ask them what they’re looking for, they will say something serious… But they’re not there yet.
There’s a great short scene from Sex and the City which talks about a man’s “light coming on” and suddenly he is ready for commitment.
For men whose lights have not come on yet, behaviour such as the OP’s guy is exhibiting is extremely common. It’s irritating because it seems to give mixed messages and seems to be a waste of your time.
I agree with so much of what has been said in this thread already:
* Taking a few hours to respond to a text is not necessarily a bad sign, but when you put it together with the lack of plans, it is a bad sign.
* You should be dating others and should definitely have other plans and other things going on that you enjoy doing, especially at this early stage of meeting someone.
* Any kind of vagueness about plans should be met with a “no thank you, that doesn’t work for me”
* Social texting does create a false sense of intimacy, and I would not be discussing TV shows etc. over text with someone I’d met twice and had no plans to see again. *Yawn* If he wants to chat to you / get to know you, he can make plans to see you and phone you. Unfortunately, dating apps are full of people who are only too willing to waste your time – but you need to make it clear that your time is not there to be wasted by idle chit chat.
I’m glad to see that you are not taking this guy seriously and are putting him in perspective and not responding to his text. You’ll be just fine!
That said, it is actually incredibly easy to see when a guy is ready for a relationship and when he is not. It isn’t rocket science. The guys who want a relationship and want it with you behave totally differently from this guy.
I can assure you that when you meet a guy who is relationship ready, there will be absolutely none of this shilly-shallying. Setting up time to spend together will be as easy as breathing.