Takes forever to respond to my text ?

posted 2 years ago in Relationships
Post # 106
1945 posts
Buzzing bee

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Tatum :  Normally I would agree with that, but honestly the online dating culture is often about ‘hanging out’ and not doing actual dates. There is a decent possibility someone who is interested is trying to play it cool or trying to do what he thinks he is supposed to do. There have been a decent number of guys I’ve met who honestly have never set up a ‘date’ with someone online and thought that was how it was supposed to be done, especially guys who recently came out of a long relationship, have never really done online dating much before, or are pretty young. Not that OP needs to educate them but sometimes it can help to establish that expectation of ‘if you want MY attention, you need to actually schedule a DATE” because you would be surprised how many women will consent to ‘hang out’. 

Post # 107
2423 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

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strawberrysakura :  I would agree with that, but the OP already attempted to pin him down for a more specific time on Sat night, and he gave her more vagueness in response.


I do not think he is trying to play it cool. I think he is leaving himself a wide window to find what he considers a better offer Sat, and if nothing turns up, then he’ll call OP. That is rude to the extreme.

Post # 109
1050 posts
Bumble bee

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sarahj1238 :  

“He said he has a birthday party Saturday but then said “maybe we meet up later in the day Saturday?” And I said “I thought you had a birthday party Saturday – when is that? I should be free around 5.” And he said “it starts in the afternoon but after than plans are pretty loose. It’s at a bar so nothing fancy” “

This gave me my laugh for the morning, thank you.

What exactly does “maybe meet up later in the day” mean? Will he send a taxi, private jet, or saddled and bridled horse to come and get you from wherever you are, whatever you may be doing? Or will he just send smoke signals up into the sky when he is available in the hopes that you see them and come running?

And I fail to see how he can have a firm enough grasp on plans to get himself to the bar for the birthday party, but not to get himself to a particular venue at a particular time to meet up with you for a date?

Loose plans indeed. Or at least, they’re loose when it comes to you, but not when he wants to make it a priority to be at a particular place.

Why was he able to get himself to the first 2 dates that you had, but now all of a sudden he’s lost the power of planning? 

This gave me such a chuckle because it reminded me of my own days online dating. This kind of shameless fuckwittery is extremely common, although I personally don’t think it’s malicious most of the time. 

I love strawberrysakura’s suggestion of telling him you have a date, although sadly guys like this could seldom care less. Next please.

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