Post # 1
So I went back and forth for a while about a proposal happening this Christmas. I had finally decided it wasn’t going to and was just enjoying the holidays with my babe when I heard a conversation on Christmas Eve. I walked into a conversation with my BF’s brothers friend and Boyfriend or Best Friend and the friend who he hadn’t seen in a while said, “So is what your brother says true? You two tying the knot?” Boyfriend or Best Friend acted super suspicious and weird and said “What! No!” and I walked away pretending I didn’t hear.
Naturally, that got my hopes all up again! When we opened gifts and it didn’t happen he said, “Whyyy did you think that? I said a year back in october! You can’t trust what he says.” So I cried and melted down and blaaah. He said he could get the ring 24 hours before he proposes and he’s not ready.
My mom thinks that he is trying to throw me off and it’s definitely happening sooner than that. He knows I heard the convo so now he’s throwing me off. That said, I need to drop all wedding related things for a bit. Take a break. I was so distraught when he didn’t propose after that conversation. I think I just need to stop focusing on waiting for a while. I know the friend wasn’t busting his chops and it was a serious question. I don’t think it would come out of nowhere, but I needn’t obsess anymore. I’ll check back sporadically, but if you don’t see me around for a bit…I am trying to come down from this! 🙁
Post # 5
I’m so sorry. It does suck. But you are doing the right thing. Don’t think of the wedding so much. Focus on your relationship and enjoy the time now. Even when I stopped talking about engagement/wedding, I still came here to vent frustrations and read. It kept me from bugging Fiance about it.
Post # 6
I know it’s tough! Just try to come up with a hobby or volunteering to keep yourself busy and get your mind of it. It will come I’m sure but it’s better to not be thinking about it when it does!
Post # 7
*hugs* I hate waiting as well and I was highly disappointed when it didn’t happen yesterday. Some days, you Bees are the only thing keeping me frpm going completely insane. I can understand not wanting to be here to so much but I do hope you do drop by and visit sometimes. Don’t forget to let us know when he does propose.
Post # 8
Of course, I just found out our married friends younger brother proposed for Christmas. I am ridiculously depressed.
Post # 9
*hugs* I bet he is just trying to throw you off. Come around when you need an ear.
Post # 10
Sorry are felling so bad. I am too. We are all in the same boat. The ups and downs of waiting really suck!!
Post # 11
Taking a step back isn’t a bad thing to clear your mind but don’t stop coming here and getting the friendship of us Bee’s. We are always here to listen and help. If you ever need anything we are/will be here for you. (((HUGS)))
Post # 12
I’m a horrible person for saying this, but someone has to present the practical side, here. What if he’s telling the truth and he’s really not ready yet? I’m waiting too and sometimes I get annoyed with not knowing WHEN he’s wanting to do it, but you have to respect his needs, too. People should get engaged when BOTH parties are 100% ready, not because one of them is just plain tired of waiting. I don’t think it’s nearly as catastrophic as we treat it sometimes. You have him. He loves you. He wants to propose to you. And when he is ready to do that (we treat it too lightly, I think. It’s a HUGE DEAL) he WILL do that! You wouldn’t want him to propose to you to shut you up, would you? You would want him to really mean it.
I know I’m rambling a bit but the holidays are still happening and I’m seeing a whole lot of expectations happening. Bees posting about breaking down and sobbing and wondering why it hasn’t happened yet. It makes me sad. Enjoy your relationship. Be confident in it. This is something I’ve been getting better at. My SO loves me. I know this. I know that he wants to marry me, and when we’re there we will be there.
I’m going to get into trouble for this I just know it. :/
Post # 13
@MissHoneyBun: Your points are valid! I was a waiting bee up until just two weeks ago and I was soooo guilty for placing too much focus on the proposal instead of on my amazing relationship! I think tough love isn’t always a bad thing! 🙂
Post # 14
@MissHoneyBun: I agree 100%! He said he wasn’t ready. He also said he could get the ring. Makes me think he does not have it yet.
Post # 15
Waiting seriously sucks. Why do they put us through this?
Post # 16
@MissHoneyBun:You do have valid points; however, I don’t believe I said anything contrary to what you said. I simply said what happened and that it is confusing for me. Of course it’s possible that he really isn’t ready and of course I know that it has to be two sided. I also think it’s possible he is throwing me off. I shared my story and both sides of it… so I appreciate the sentiment, but I do not appreciate you implying that I don’t value my relationship and my SO for what it/he is and that all I’m concerned about is a ring because that is hardly the case.