(Closed) Taking Away The Privilege?

posted 8 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 3
Member
1810 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: April 2011

I don’t think I would mind letting your religious Bridesmaid or Best Man a more covered up dress (even if she wore a strapless one recently, unless the covered up one is super ugly), but I definitely would say something about the revealing dress– that’s not appropriate. I actually had a dream the other night that one of my BMs was trying to wear a bedazzled ivory mini skirt! lol

So maybe you could say something like, “Oh its a lovely dress (or skip that part) but I don’t think it goes with the feel/style of our event/ the look I’m trying to achieve with the wedding/ whatever excuse you can think of. I was thinking something more like this. What do you think? Ok great, I’ll show the other BMs and maybe we can order it soon.”

Post # 5
Member
375 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

Yikes!  I would say choose a dress for them.  Just tell them the truth.  Its not unreasonable to not want them to look like polar opposites.  Or at least give them some stricter guidelines

Post # 6
Member
1810 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: April 2011

OOOhhh, yea.
If you said knee length, maybe find something knee length that’s a little more modest, and say something like, “I know because of your religion, you’d like to be a little more covered up, but the dress you picked is not knee length. So I was thinking something more like this. I’d like all the girls to somewhat match.”

Or you could say something like, “I like this dress (which ever you choose) for all the BMs, and look, I found this cute sweater that matches since I know you want to be a little more covered due to your religion.”

Basically, make it clear that you’re respecting her religious views, but also, you have a right to say no on the dress that she chooses.

Would you be mad if she stepped down as a BM? You could say something like, “I understand if, due to your religion, you won’t be comfortable wearing something like this. So if you need to step down, I understand and will not be hurt/ no hard feelings.”

Post # 8
Member
9029 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2011

 instead of letting them choose anything they want. you  should choose a variety of dresses you like and then let them pick from your selection.

Post # 9
Member
793 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2011

I am allowing th same thing, but I told them they had to get them from Alfred Angelo, because it has the color I am doing, so that saved me from someone telling me they were gonna make their own dress, and Alfred Angelo’s dresses are pretty but not too revealing in my opnion.

Post # 10
Member
461 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

I did the same thing for my bridesmaids, but they had the exact opposite reaction! Most of them haven’t bought anything yet because they aren’t sure if it’s what I want…

But, these are your best friends, so you can be completely honest and let them know you aren’t happy with their selections. I would then offer to go shopping with them so you can help them pick something out.

 

@JenniMichele: I love the bedazzled mini-skirt! I know my one bridesmaid would show up in that just to piss me off! And then promptly change into something acceptable once I told her I wouldn’t speak to her ever again. (We have a weird dynamic in our friendship).

 

Post # 11
Member
1465 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

Pick something yourself and remember that you have power to veto anything you don’t like. Also be aware that not everyone is comfortable in knee length dresses, regardless of their religion. At the same time, I don’t believe that a woman who says her religion forbids sleeveless/strapless should be forced under any circumstances to wear a strapless dress, even if she will have a thin strip of fabric to cover her shoulders (which may not even work) simply because a stranger on the internet doesn’t think that anything other than strapless should be worn to a wedding as an attendant. If you browse wedding pictures online, there are countless pictures of varying types of bridesmaid dresses and everyone should be comfortable in what they are wearing, even if it is a different style. But under no circumstance should it be revealing skin that doesn’t need to be seen.

Since you are insisting on knee length, ask the religious girl if there is anything on the site you posted that fits your requirements that she likes and feels comfortable in. Also, she will need to try them on in person before buying anything.

The topic ‘Taking Away The Privilege?’ is closed to new replies.

Find Amazing Vendors