(Closed) Taking the high road?

posted 6 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
9917 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2013

So my question is…what are you doing about the wedding?

Post # 5
Member
1898 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2014

There was a poster on the waiting boards awhile back named Mrs. Harmony who had similarly awful future in-laws. They attacked her for totally different reasons, but the mama’s boy tendancies and crazy over the top mother control issues were pretty much the same. He essentially told her that she would never come first. No matter what, the poster defended her boyfriend’s actions and said that he was putting in effort and that was enough. I really encourage you to go back and read her posts. In the end, her boyfriend caved to exactly what his parents wanted. I’m not saying this is the same situation, and hopefully your fiance is a lot stronger than that, but I still think looking at a similar but different situation might open your eyes a little bit to the realities of the situation. I really do wish you the best of luck and urge you not to settle for a little bit of a change. He really has to put you first. I hope you don’t take this as an attack, just a bit of a caution. I can’t help but compare these situations in my mind.

http://boards.weddingbee.com/profile/mrs-harmony

Post # 6
Member
7609 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

@Krises:  Hey thanks, I had never read her last update on her final thread about that wiener she was with!  I’m so glad to hear it ended, I had been wondering what ever happened to her.

Post # 7
Member
1898 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2014

@Juliepants:  No problem! Yeah, he was a real prize. She is much better off without him. 

Post # 9
Member
1898 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2014

@mayflowerbride13:  yes, the situations are definitely different. I guess I meant it as more of a caution re: your fiance’s claims to put you first when his previous actions have spoken otherwise. The previous poster thought the same thing and even though every one cautioned her otherwise, she stayed with him and he chose his parents over her. It seems like you are keeping one eye open at all times and that is pretty much the point I was trying to make anyways. Just remember that actions speak louder than words. Keep us updated and I really hope it works out. 

Post # 10
Member
1294 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

I am so happy that you have found some peace with this situation. I do hope that your Future In-Laws stop being so bratty themselves.. but it so good to hear that you Fiance finally has your back with this fully. Those boundries are great and perfectly reasonable!

Good luck, proud of you!

Post # 12
Member
1890 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

@mayflowerbride13:  It sounds like you are really trying to approach this in a calm, mature way and that’s great. I agree that your Future Mother-In-Law is being over-protective and getting over-involved, considering she is not paying for the wedding, however weddings can bring out the worst in people and she sounds like a Mom-zilla to the extreme.

Also, not sure if you’ve tried to discuss this, but have you considered the possibility of open bar but only serving beer/wine and soda, and possibly having some bottles of liquor on the tables that guests can serve themselves?  Might be a good compromise as far as saving money but keeping Future Mother-In-Law happy.

I hope that you and Fiance are able to get on the same page and he realizes he has to stick up to his mom.  I was sort of in your FI’s position leading up to my wedding (my mom is also Italian and got pretty intense about getting her way, but she WAS paying for the wedding) and there were a couple times my now-husband had to tell me to put my foot down on certain things that she was demanding.  You two need to be a united front against the crazy family members who seem to think this is their wedding and not yours.  Anyways, just wanted to send you good feelings and I think you are handling all this with grace, class, and maturity, even when the people around you are not.

Post # 13
Member
11752 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

Good luck hun, hope everything works out for the best for you guys! 🙂

Post # 14
Member
9648 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: April 2019

i am so glad you are starting over with wedding planning and that your Fiance is standing on your side, that’s great news 🙂

Post # 16
Member
11272 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: April 2012

@mayflowerbride13:  i am happy to read your update.  it sounds very reasonable.  start fresh and recognize your priorities.  this is where communication and compromise really come into play.  it really doesn’t have to be this stressful.  stay calm.

just remember that the whole objective is to marry the love of your life.  the rest is just fluff.

The topic ‘Taking the high road?’ is closed to new replies.

Find Amazing Vendors