- 6 years ago
- Wedding: May 2013
So, those of you following my crazy life… know I haven’t been sleeping well or anything lately. Well after deciding last night to take the high road and apologize for being a brat at the engagement party… I slept like a baby.
While I know my Future Mother-In-Law is a nutjob and needs to cool the eff down, I also recognize that I don’t THINK that her intentions are malicious… I think that she thinks she knows what is best for her son (she is totally wrong and doesn’t know what she is doing/talking about, clearly) but I don’t think she is intentionally being a psychotic bitch…So, with that being said, I am hoping that when I do my part (apologize for being a sulky brat at the e-party) then it is out of my hands. Fiance said he was surprised that I was willing to do that, but to be fair I mean she did put work into it, yada yada, and paid for it, yada yada.. but anyways…He agrees she owes me SEVERAL apologies so once I do mine, the ball is in her court and he has my back.
It’s sad, we used to be so close… As in- closer than me and my mom… we would have lil dates and what not, and ya, I miss it… Do I think it will ever be the same? no. Do I want there to be a bloodless relationship for the sake of my Fiance, saving our wedding, saving our marriage, and keeping the peace? Yes.
I WILL however, be setting some serious boundaries when I apologize… and will be pointing out that she is not exactly blame free. Fiance and I are in the process of discussing what boundaries are appropriate (she doesn’t need to call and remind him to text/email/send a card to his cousin who is getting married 3 times a day, her opinion is welcome but that doesn’t mean we need to abide by it, she needs to learn the word “no” and not be so goddamn picky and recognize not everybody is like her/wants what she wants- and THAT IS OKAY… if/when we have kids, she will not drop in unexpected, she will not contradict OUR parenting decisions, etc…) ***on a side note- as if the whole “you don’t understand, you’re not italian” that she threw my way wasn’t enough, I found out that when my dad had talked to her.. she also threw in some “you don’t understand, you’re not catholic”… seriously lady, not everybody is italian and catholic, and i’m pretty sure the rest of the world gets on JUST fine the way they are, thanks.
Anyways, it’s gonna take work… but I love my Fiance, he is not as bad as the posts make him seem (honestly, it’s hard to make him look good when in the span of a week or 2, shit hits the fan, he’s stuck in the middle, and it is the first time really he has had to defend me since there have never been issues before.) It’s new for us both, but we’re both working on it… he really is trying and I KNOW and I think HE knows that he is being a bit of a momma’s boy (to be fair, I’m a daddy’s girl) but he also is working to change that and I need to recognize it won’t happen overnight.
Anyways, I know that many of you probably think I’m bat shit crazy for continuing this relationship, but I did mean it when I said I’m giving it a last shot- I just figure, if I’m going to try I may as well REALLY try. Their relationship is trickier than most mommas boys too especially since my Fiance was in the hospital for 3 yrs due to ulcerative colitis and pancreatitis.. so I know that she is just scared of losing him in many ways… but that will be part of the conversation as well- she needs to trust me to take care of him, and trust that I will.
Anyways, Thanks for following and reading this if you did… Don’t judge me too badly, He is a wonderful man and I love him and throwing it all away over something as petty as his mothers…ridiculousness for the wedding seems unfair to both our hearts. I’m a pretty firm believer in Karma, so I want to set things right, and if she continues to be a bitch, I’m sure she’ll get hers.